Sexy Time: Entering the Booty Parlor with Dana B. Myers [INTERVIEW]
Yes, you read that right – Booty Parlor. Who doesn’t love a cute play on words? Booty Parlor is a line of products that were created with women’s sexuality in mind, whether she’s single or in a relationship. It is a brand that encourages women to indulge in their sexiness, free of shame or self-consciousness. I had the opportunity to speak with the creator, Dana B. Myers, who is inspirational as both a female entrepreneur and a sex-positive role model.
What inspired you start Booty Parlor?
I was inspired by my mom – she was a makeup artist. I watched her transform women. While she was doing makeup, she would chat with her clients about everything women talk about. They felt so much better about themselves after – it was a big influence on me, where women were helping women and inspiring each other. Also, I was very interested in all things related to sex. I was lucky enough that it was never a taboo subject in the house. I felt confident, open and excited to explore and experience sex. It made me the go-to sexpert for my girlfriends. Fast forward after being in the music industry, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to combine beauty and sexiness and create a beauty parlor for your love life. I wanted to do products from the beauty world that you could use in your bedroom. I wanted fun and sassy, not sleazy and trashy. I told my boyfriend, and he said “sounds great, let’s do this together!” A month later we lost our jobs and we started working on our business plan.
How did you start promoting yourself?
What is the mission of your brand?
The mission is to help women gain confidence. In my book, Mojo Makeover, I address it in two parts. The first involves seductive beauty, body rituals, and sexy mantras. There are little actions you can do with our products that daily wait to infuse some sexy into your life. It gives women the info and product – living a sexy life is as important as eating well, getting a workout, excelling in your job or at school. It’s a facet of women’s lives that’s put in the back corner. When it is integrated in your daily life – feeling sexy, and talking to your friends or boyfriends about your sex life, you start to feel that sense of empowerment and you carry it out with you, and you feel more confident. You feel like you know yourself. You start seeing the positive effects and getting more positive attention and want to now what’s going on in your world. It’s exciting to see that change happen. The book is four weeks of steps and tricks to invigorate your sex lives.
The second part relates to sexy experiences – a lot of women are are in the dark about what turns them on, what they enjoy, and we want that information. I describe sexy scenarios that women can create with their lover. Language tends to be a barrier because they think they have to use dirty words. In the book, I think I found language to communicate with women to make it accessible and fun, and it’s saucy, but not dirty. It’s important to take away that dirty edge, but keep it fun, sassy, and exciting in order to break through the stigma. We carry shame through our families or negative experiences, and I encourage women to forgive themselves . It’s okay to not be perfect.
What are the most common anxieties?
1. Negative body banter – that self-destructive mental chatter that we inflict on ourselves, where we start comparing ourselves to other women, we compare ourselves to the unrealistic images in the media that are impossible for most to attain. Our self-worth and self-confidence are linked to our size and external beauty. We think we’re too big or too small or too bony or too curvy, and we feel ashamed. It’s hard to be open and share yourself with a lover and express yourself sexually when you feel that way. I encourage women to create positive banter and self-love. It’s about radical self-acceptance and self-love. Stand in front of the mirror and fake it ’til you make it if you have to. Stand in front of the mirror and say “I love you, thighs, because you’re mine and you make me have a great swagger.” Even if it feels awkward, the more you repeat it, the more you start believe it and build self-confidence.
2. When women start viewing sex as a chore
It starts off really exciting, but things start to slow down. You start having sex only once a week, and it becomes hard to keep the desire alive. It becomes hard for women for enjoy sex for the joy that it is.
3. Poor sex communication skills.
We’d love it if our boyfriends could read our minds, but they can’t. If you’re not talking about sex or learning to communicate about sex. It’s hard to find out what the other person means or discover new things you’re interested in. Being silent or talking about things on a surface level and you can’t find the words to express yourself, it’s hard to find your sexiest satisfaction. First, you have to know what you want to communicate it. To create a great sex life, you’ve got to learn to talk about things. The book addresses learning how to communicate. Start with talking to your girlfriends – talking things out, sharing your problems with the women you trust can be so powerful.
4. When women hold on to sex guilt.
It’s not uncommon for women to have a dark experience in their sexual history that left them guilty, dirty, shameful or gave them some baggage they can’t let go of. I think for women to feel empowerment, they have to work through that sex guilt. Whether it was a traumatic experience and you need to see a therapist or confront the person you had the experience with, it’s important for women to move forward. Guilt is the least productive emotion I’ve ever experienced. Letting go of guilt is very impacting and it’s a great experience.
What is the best way to combat the negative stigma that can be attached to being single?
When I moved to LA, I didn’t know how I was going to meet anyone. In NY, everyone’s on the street; in LA, everyone’s in their car. I was at work and I was like, “Will I ever find another boyfriend?” If I look back into my 20s, what I wish that I knew was that “You will find your true love.” Everything up to that point is just fun. Everything is an experience that will enrich your life, and will teach you what you do like, and what you don’t like. When my friends break up with someone, I’d just say “Next!” If it isn’t right, it isn’t right. Booty Parlor does have a line called Flirty Little Secret that includes pheromones. There’s a firming cream, body butter, bronzer, perfume, and a shower scrub. You can layer them and the experience of putting on these creams, creating a ritual, creating a seductive body ritual, and as you do it, you’re thinking sexy thoughts, and you feel sexier and walk with confidence, and you notice you’re getting more attention. If you want to flirt, great. If you don’t, then don’t. If you have tactics in your back pocket and you have some language, to have those tools is empowering.
What is your favorite product?
Aphrodisiac Berry Lip Gloss. It gives you this perfectly kissable pout, and it’s infused with aphrodisiacs. So it makes you look great and makes you feel a little riskier. The other is my skin honey. It’s a kissable lotion that can be a massage gel and a lubrication. It’s inspired by 9 and a Half Weeks. The product is meant to be drizzled anywhere you want to be kissed, and makes the experience even greater.
What is the appeal of your book, Mojo Makeover?
I’ve gotten great feedback from women in their 20s to their 50s – after all, confidence never goes out of style.
I love any message that encourages women to take control of our sexuality. Dana gives some great advice – even if you’re not into gels or candles or lip gloss or this specific kind of femininity, taking the time to appreciate your body and love it for its ability to receive pleasure is never a bad thing. Letting go of all the accumulated negativity that can cling to us is also an incredibly empowering thought. Dana’s book, Mojo Makeover, is available for purchase now!