Glamour Says The Darndest Things: February Edition
I’m obsessed with Rachel McAdams’ shorts on this month’s cover of Glamour. Sigh, I’m desperately longing for warm weather, pastels and the absence of layers. Thanks for rubbing it in, Glamour.
As the cover boasts, this is the “Guys & Sex” issue, and yes, it is just as redundant as it sounds (bonus points for featuring some of the hotties of Revenge though). This issue was peppered with all kinds of not-so-scandalous guy and sex facts that shouldn’t be shocking to anyone who is over the age of 15 — guys think about sex all the time, they masturbate at work, they love boobs and sometimes they lie to get us into bed. Unbelievable, no? A slightly more interesting article was the one in which men gave their opinions on some of the most common women’s hairstyles, and they are just as annoying and silly as you would think.
Glamour on top knots: The higher the hair, the more high strung a girl is.
Jasmine says: I firmly associate top knots with Britney Spears…on her sloppiest of days.
Glamour on side ponies: Side what? Is that a sex position?
Jasmine says: Yawn, making a sex joke just to make a sex joke is not clever.
Glamour on feather extensions: Gross: Gone fishing?
Jasmine says: But…fish don’t have feathers.
Glamour on ponytails: Something to hold onto when things get steamy.
Jasmine says: Not only does ponytail yanking sound juvenile and unsexy, but ouch, I can imagine guys getting way too gung-ho with the hair-pulling.
Glamour on redheads: They’re like the unicorns of women – except they actually do exist.
Jasmine says: And the attempts at humor get even lamer. *throws tomatoes*
Glamour on tan lines: If I can see them at dinner, hopefully I can see where they end later.
Jasmine says: Do tan lines even have a beginning or an end?
Glamour on pink streaks: For breast cancer awareness – hell yeah! For kicks, not so much.
Jasmine says: Eh, I agree. They’re too Avril Lavigne.
Glamour on hottest female celebrities: Never tell a woman anyone else is hotter than her.
Jasmine says: I could not trust a man who refuses to acknowledge that Rihanna is the hottest woman in the world.