Current Events Cheat Sheet: When Butt-Grabs and Beer Pong Become News

By Avery

A man created the most expensive Starbucks drink ever. But get this, it was totally undrinkable! Oh, the irony… For his birthday, Starbucks sent 22-year-old Logan Warren a coupon for a free drink of any size with any add-ons. With that kind of offer, you could say the coffee chain was asking for it. By the way, Starbucks, my birthday is tomorrow (wink, wink). Anyway, Warren managed to create a concoction worth $23.60 that contained 16 shots of espresso and 1,400 mg of caffeine — enough to put him in the hospital. Warren also threw in caramel flavoring, a scoop each of strawberry and banana purees, vanilla beans, protein power and more. He now holds the record for most pricy Starbucks drink — and possibly most disgusting.

Obama’s 2013 budget plan means serious cuts for NASA. Though the spending bill for next year hasn’t been approved by Congress yet, it’s highly likely that the space program’s plans will be significantly altered by the cuts. Funding for planetary science would go down by about 21%. Funding will go up for human exploration and space technology, but scientists are still mad about the implications of the changes: basically, that NASA will have to give up planned missions to Mars. Exploration of other planets will suffer as well. And the age-old question of life on other planets? Yeah, we’re not getting anywhere on that.

A man sued a bar for being allowed to continue to play beer pong way too long. So long, in fact, that on the way home the man was hit by a car going over 50 miles per hour and sustained significant injuries. He broke his leg, foot, hip, tore his knees and lacerated his liver. His blood alcohol content was .26… so pretty darn high. The accident took place back in 2009, but a New Jersey judge finally made his ruling — the bar is not responsible for the man’s endless beer pong playing. So, unfortunately, no, you can’t sue that fraternity for continuing to let you play beer pong if you accidentally ruin your dress during your drunken end-of-night snack. Sad.

News broke that Hitler, who was always assumed to be childless, may actually have had a son. Supposedly, Hitler had an affair with a french teenager during his time as a soldier in World War I. The girl got pregnant and gave the boy up for adoption, but the two later reconnected and the man found out the identity of his real father. Evidence includes paintings signed by Hitler and army documents. If the claims can be proven without a doubt, the family has rights to money from Hitler’s book Mein Kampf, which I’m sure they’d appreciate, but would it be worth being known as one of Hitler’s descendants?

Pic o’ the Week:

Obama visited a Chinese food restaurant on Thursday, and one handsy diner got a little touchy with the president’s rear end during a photo. I say, get it girl! An opportunity to grab Obama’s butt doesn’t happen often, and look how much the two of them seem to be enjoying it!

Source: Getty / SAUL LOEB