Nine Scary Behaviors to Avoid in Relationships


Two weeks ago, I heard another tragic tale of a girl I know punching her boyfriend. A year before that, the same thing happened. Call me crazy, but this type of behavior, in my book, is never okay. And I’m speaking to both sexes here.

Personally, I don’t think I could ever, EVER be in a relationship where any type of abusive behavior existed. I also know that no one ever willingly puts themselves into these types of situations because feelings and emotions complicate things, but when I see or hear about that kind of behavior, it honestly drives me crazy.

Is it naïve of me to ask how another human being could knowingly inflict pain onto someone they care about? And what is the point of it? You hit your boyfriend to shut him up, why not just kick him out of the car? Who are you to deem it appropriate to lay your hands on another adult? Who gave you that right?

I suppose the line is blurred when it comes to raising children: do you punish them by spanking or hitting? But really, where do you draw the line? Because I think that parents reserve some right to discipline you and put you in your place, but significant others? No. I’m sorry. I just can’t excuse that.

The door to abusive behaviors led me straight through to a few other intolerable relationship behaviors. And then those led me forward to a few more…

Kylie is a college grad, teacher, writer and blogger. Follow her passions for all things chocolate-y, cheap and cheese-y on @kyliemcconv! If you’re a Big City dweller, make sure to tweet me all your favorite NYC spots and secrets on @NYC_CC!

[Lead image via Sergej Khakimullin/Shutterstock]



  1. NTeodoro LMFT says:


    Thank you for pointing out that abuse can come from any sex or gender. Thank you doubly for pointing out the common forms of abuse. I just thought I would say something about the warning signs of an abusive or potentially abusive partner. These are things to look out for, or at least assess carefully before moving forward in a relationship.

    1) Controlling behaviors: Always demanding it is his way, calling / texting you constantly even thought you made it clear you are busy.

    2) Jealousy: Interrogating you about other acquaintances as though they are a threat to him; always needing to know what you are doing.

    3) Guilt-trips: Always blaming you for things, excessively making you feel bad for not doing what they want.

    If you love someone and they are abusing you. Leaving them may not be the only solution. The person may be able to change. If they are willing to commit to stopping all forms of violence, couple’s therapy can be effective in saving the relationship.

    1. Nevi says:

      Good article, and thanks for mentioning the above as well NTeodoro. Abuse comes in many shapes and forms, and emotional abuse tends to be more common. People often don't realize when it's happening because of the amount of manipulation involved.

      In addition to guilt-tripping, there's also gas-lighting, minimization, belittling, isolating, and many more. Wikipedia has a rather comprehensive list of manipulation tactics, most of which I've encountered by ex's before. No one's fault-less, of course since we all find ourselves behaving in such a way at some point. But, if it's a common occurrence, it's time to either confront them or say goodbye.

  2. Kylie - Vermont says:

    Thanks for all the extra tips and for reading my article!

  3. […] The door to abusive behaviors led me straight through to a few other intolerable relationship behaviors. And then those led me forward to a few more…Original story here. […]

  4. […] • 9 scary behaviors to avoid in relationships. (CollegeCandy) […]

  5. Lidia says:

    First of all, this seems fake. If it isn’t then: what the hell are you doing? Are you seriously wansitg your time on him? Yeah, you know, that love you have for him is only for how he WAS back then. This is a new him and you think he’s going to change into the man he was back then? No. He’s not going to change. He will NEVER ever change, even for you. Yeah, it’s easier said than done to leave. But just remember. Murdering is easier done than said. -_-||

  • You Might Like