I’m going to give you a clue for anyone who’s ever wondered what my secret identity really is: I’m not Josh Hartnett. I’m not even a fan of his, but I am a fan of 40 Days/40 Nights and since Ash Wednesday was oh, so, recent, I felt inspired to re-watch that rom-com romp. In case you’ve never seen it, it’s about a heartbroken Hartnett who is socially and emotionally crippled from being dumped by his long-term girlfriend that he takes a vow: no sexual gratification for Lent and thus freeing himself from her…influence? I don’t know, the logic takes some selling, I’m sure Sarah Palin could make sense of it. Being as this is the season of Lent, when good Catholic boys and girls are sacrificing one of their favorite luxuries for 40 days, I started to wonder, how productive an idea is this for the 21st century? I’m all for penance, don’t get me wrong, love me some BDSM, but while you can give up certain things, are their ones that you shouldn’t give up? I mean, Josh Hartnett becomes unable to work, have friendships, or eat pancakes. Is that healthy? Isn’t that going a bit too far? So, after some extensive research, I’ve come up with a list of 11 things that women should not give up for Lent, for the good of mankind.
There you have it, ladies. 11 things you shouldn’t sacrifice for Lent. Some of these might be shocking. Some of these might be bewildering. But that’s the way it goes sometimes. What did I miss? What couldn’t you live without for 40 days and 40 nights? Before you even ask in the comments, don’t worry, this is just part one. Next time, we’re going to tackle the boys…figuratively speaking.
Fire in the hole!