In Support of Steak and a Blowjob Day [Sorry, No Photos On This One]

March 14, 2012 5:00 pm     Posted in Reality, Relationships  Alexandra Gehringer g+ page


By Alexandra Gehringer

I might as well come out and say it: I love Steak and a Blowjob Day. And no, not because I have a penis. I don’t. That would be awkward. It’s because I firmly believe guys deserve a day to get theirs. I hear so many girls complain about this being a misogynistic “holiday,” an affront to women everywhere, an excuse for men to be crude and selfish and ask for red meat and demand oral sex. Ugh, the injustice of it all! In response, I have to ask — what the hell is wrong with you ladies!?

Really, we get Valentine’s Day…why shouldn’t there be a day specifically set aside to indulge your best guy? Hear me out. The entire premise of my argument hinges on the assumption that you have a significant other of some variety — a hookup, a friend with benefits, someone you’re loosely dating, maybe that particular endangered species also known as a boyfriend. If you’re single, imagine that you’re not. Just to humor me. Please? Great.

So yeah, today, March 14th, is Steak and a Blowjob Day. Give thanks to your guy. All the back rubs, cuddle seshes, laughs and orgasms he’s given you…it’s time to acknowledge his efforts. One thing about guys — they’re insanely simple beings. Tell them they’re doing a good job, that you think they’re the coolest thing since sliced bread, and your compliments will get you oh-so far. I’m talking like month of existing in his good graces.

Let’s get real for a minute. You’re hot, you can be a degenerate version of Martha Stewart and jazz up a steak dinner, God knows you have the skills to bring home the blow job component of this holiday. So get down to business, girl! I see this unofficial holiday as an excuse to own your own personal awesomeness. Make your dude thankful to be with such a cool girl as yourself. Put on that apron, add a killer pair of heels and get in the damn kitchen.

Alex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Courtney Stodden. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

[Lead image via Wallenrock/Shutterstock]

7 Comments on "In Support of Steak and a Blowjob Day [Sorry, No Photos On This One]"

  1. Lucy says:
    Wed, 14th Mar 20126:16 pm 

    Would like to point out, today is actually PI day. While I am all for giving love to your man, they cannot hi-jack the best math day ever! Well, ok, maybe if they include pie it will be ok.

  2. Molly - UNL says:
    Wed, 14th Mar 20129:16 pm 

    YES. Love this. I celebrated.

  3. Katie Garrity - North Central College says:
    Thu, 15th Mar 201211:26 am 

    This comment is amazing. Yes.

  4. guest says:
    Thu, 15th Mar 20122:14 pm 

    I don't like Valentines day… I would rather steak and oral sex day. I 'd be more satisfied with that than flowers and candy I'm a straight female. Besodes how hard is it to buy flowers and candy? It's not much effort at all compared to making a steak and giving a bj.

  5. Allison (Swarthmore) says:
    Thu, 15th Mar 20126:19 pm 

    You say that "we get Valentine's Day," right? Here's what I don't understand: Why don't women just do a better job with Valentine's Day? The holiday is about romance and thoughtfulness, and that does NOT have to be one-sided. After all, it's not called "Buy Your Girlfriend A Bunch of Roses and Chocolates and Heart-Shaped Crap (Or Else) Day." You can show your affection, too!

    Either that, or can we re-name it to something less misogynist? (Was "Boyfriend Appreciation Day" taken?) No matter how couples choose to celebrate such a holiday, I really don't think we need to imply that all men want to force their girlfriends to be servile and sexually submissive. There are already too many messages in our culture that women should be treated like every day is "Steak & BJ Day."

  6. maria says:
    Wed, 21st Mar 201210:53 pm 

    Yup. Other posters have it right. The title is misogynistic, it perpetuates gender stereotypes, and who said valentine's day was specifically about satisfying a romcom stylization of the wants of heterosexual females? FALSE. Valentine's day is for any sort of people who want to appreciate each other however they want to do so. And as if those sexist 3/14 duckers weren't already being dumb enough, they had to go and appropriate pi day too?

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