Sexy Time: I Love Quickies
When I was a virgin, I had all kinds of preconceived notions about sex. Some of them were based on actual, tangible experiences that my friends had, some were based on my own neurotic tendencies, and some were just beliefs I picked up from society. One such belief is the idea that good sex = long, drawn out, passionate affairs, complete with foreplay and lengthy intercourse and long cuddling sessions. I assumed quickies were only for select occasions - mainly impromptu, possibly clandestine encounters and/or for when you were merely pressed for time. After a couple of years of fornication experience, I’ve reached the conclusion that quickie sex is the best sex.
It took me a while to come to terms with this. When I first started hooking up, I loved drawn out sessions. Upon reflection, I realize that preference was really based on not knowing when the next time I’d get intimate with someone would arrive, so I wanted as much as I could get while I had the opportunity. Now that I’m in a stable relationship, I am basically taking for granted the fact that sex is readily available to me, and thus, I’m no longer thirsty for it like I was in the past. Moreover, I have developed a preference for really aggressive/energetic/mostly unsustainable-for-long-periods-of-time sex. I’d much rather have short bursts of 100 percent pleasurable perfection versus long sessions where my interest ebbs and flows.
When I confided in my partner how I felt, he was a bit surprised. As a dude, he is constantly bombarded with messages that “longer is better” (in more ways than one), and it threw him for a bit of a loop that I was saying the complete opposite. When I googled “I love quickies” to see what came up, the first few hits were all things written by guys wanting to know how to convince their girlfriends to embrace the quickie. Then there was an article from Cosmo that compared quickies to Big Macs – a filling, but guilty pleasure. Oh, that’s cute, I should feel ashamed because I rarely have an inclination towards the romantic, candlelit sex that I sincerely find kind of dull most of the time? That’s empowering and inclusive, Cosmo.
As women, we rarely are given the space, or really encouraged, to challenge typical ideas of sexuality, and I worry about how many ladies end up having unfulfilled sex lives because they’re kowtowing to conventional wisdom instead of just doing what they love. The best advice I can give you is this – listen to your instincts and do what makes you feel awesome. Life is too short to do anything other than that.
[Lead image via Lilya Espinosa/Shutterstock]