Ask A Dude: Am I More Sexual Than Him?
What can a girl do if she’s more sexual than her guy? I never thought I would run into this problem, but I guess there’s a first to everything. I think I like sex more than the guy I am dating. Any time I am with him, I am totally turned on. That doesn’t mean I am constantly trying to get into his pants, but I can’t help that I’m super attracted to him. He would be totally fine having sex one or two times a week. Is he not sexually attracted to me? Is it possible that he’s just not that sexual? How do I talk to him about it?
Girl With a High Sex Drive
Dear Girl With a High Sex Drive
Yes, it’s possible that he’s just not that sexual. No, it’s not possible he’s not sexually attracted to you since, well, he’ll have sex twice a week with you. Which is something. A bit below average for a hot and heavy honeymoon period, granted, but something. I hate to say it, but you in fact may be more sexual than him. Hey, it DOES happen.
There’s this prolifically far reaching and ever present stereotype that men are horndogs. We can’t get enough of it. We’re sex obsessed and possibly sex crazed. We crave it and are up for it anytime, anywhere, and, depending on our blood alcohol level, would be willing to have it with just about anyone with a vagina. Unless we’re bi and then just anyone with a hole. Do you hear that little pop? That’s the sound of me bursting the sit-com purported bubble.
There are guys out there who are in fact not completely driven by their libido. There are guys out there who do not think sex is the only thing that…well, matters. They DO exist. And you found one. And they’re not obsessed with sex for similar reasons that anyone might not be: low testosterone level, crappy past sexual experiences, abusive childhood, actually being a robot-TAKE YOUR PICK!
There’s a super easy way to talk to him about this: You say, “Look, this might just be me, it might be nothing, but I want to bring it up in case it’s not nothing.” Make it clear you’re not attacking him. Just wanting to be on the same page. If you approach it like that, you’re not going to be emasculating him. If he takes it that way, well, that’s an indication of a fragile libido ego…which is a whole different column to write about.
Protect and serve,
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]