The Situation is Headed to Rehab and We Know Why

By Garnet Henderson

Break out the tissues, folks, we’ve got some news that has Lifetime Original Movie written all over it. The Situation is headed to rehab for “substance abuse.” And because celebrity gossip just wouldn’t be as fun without some mystery and sketchy details, the “substance” remains a secret.

This story actually surprised me a little bit. The whole point of Jersey Shore is that it’s a show about people with bad fake tans and too much hair product running around and making drunken fools out of themselves. Is that healthy? Probably not. Is it entertaining? I’ve actually never made it through more than 5 minutes of Jersey Shore, so I wouldn’t know. But it seems like The Situation might have some problems if he decides to change his ways and stop partying, and still expects to be on the show.

One thing’s for sure – the new season of Jersey Shore is going to look very different with Snooki pregnant and The Situation trying to clean up. And of course, we have a few guesses about what “substance” he may be abusing. Here they are.

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The Situation is Headed to Rehab and We Know Why

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Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.