Heartbreak lingers like a hangover. You wake up but don’t want to move, and your head is spinning. Sometimes you need the greasiest pizza down the street has to offer, and sometimes you *can’t eat at all. The only thing that sounds appealing is crawling into a dark cave away from anything (which is everything) that reminds you how shitty you feel. We get it. And we’ve all been that melodramatic. The only real cure for heartbreak is time, but there are definitely ways to spend that time to expedite the process and numb the symptoms.
Like any good doctor (because I think I’ll extend the metaphor a bit farther), it’s good to isolate variables causing pain. Women are often plagued with thoughts and questions like, “What did I do wrong? Why was I not good enough?” Insecurity and self doubt completely consume our minds as we replay final arguments over and over again in our heads. We have the uncanny ability to take on full responsibility when something goes wrong in a relationship (crazy bitch exceptions do apply). But guess what? He’s wasn’t perfect either, so take him off that pedestal. You have full permission to believe that he sucks way more than you do in the initial stages of a break up (it’s probably true, but even if it isn’t, go ahead and allow yourself the injustice for a bit).
It takes two to make and break a relationship; don’t blame yourself. And don’t entertain thoughts of, “If I were more like X, he would of treated me better.” False. He’s going to treat every woman in his life like that, and he may just be lucky enough to find someone who puts up with his… er, shortcomings (never said the world was fair), but I promise that that girl is no one to envy. Maybe your guy wasn’t a douche, and it just didn’t work out between you. It’s still not all your fault. There are multiple reasons that the two of you didn’t work independent of you as an individual. Don’t stake your self-worth on it!
The most important thing to do post break up is to rebuild your self esteem. Remember that you got along just fine before you met your ex. You had your own life, your own friends, your own sphere of existence completely independent of his. Maybe some of that network was neglected during the relationship, and it may take time to rebuild, but it can be done. Follow our 12 step program and re-enter the world again as just you… because you’re worth it (yeah, in the voice of that great L’Oréal lady).
*Note: I’m really jealous of those of you who lose your appetite during a break up (or hangover for that matter). Couldn’t if I tried.
How do you get over a bad break up?! What would you add to our list?