12 Steps For Curing a Broken Heart

Heartbreak lingers like a hangover. You wake up but don’t want to move, and your head is spinning. Sometimes you need the greasiest pizza down the street has to offer, and sometimes you *can’t eat at all. The only thing that sounds appealing is crawling into a dark cave away from anything (which is everything) that reminds you how shitty you feel. We get it. And we’ve all been that melodramatic. The only real cure for heartbreak is time, but there are definitely ways to spend that time to expedite the process and numb the symptoms.

Like any good doctor (because I think I’ll extend the metaphor a bit farther), it’s good to isolate variables causing pain. Women are often plagued with thoughts and questions like, “What did I do wrong? Why was I not good enough?” Insecurity and self doubt completely consume our minds as we replay final arguments over and over again in our heads. We have the uncanny ability to take on full responsibility when something goes wrong in a relationship (crazy bitch exceptions do apply). But guess what? He’s wasn’t perfect either, so take  him off that pedestal. You have full permission to believe that he sucks way more than you do in the initial stages of a break up (it’s probably true, but even if it isn’t, go ahead and allow yourself the injustice for a bit).

It takes two to make and break a relationship; don’t blame yourself. And don’t entertain thoughts of, “If I were more like X, he would of treated me better.” False. He’s going to treat every woman in his life like that, and he may just be lucky enough to find someone who puts up with his… er, shortcomings (never said the world was fair), but I promise that that girl is no one to envy.  Maybe your guy wasn’t a douche, and it just didn’t work out between you. It’s still not all your fault. There are multiple reasons that the two of you didn’t work independent of you as an individual. Don’t stake your self-worth on it!

The most important thing to do post break up is to rebuild your self esteem. Remember that you got along just fine before you met your ex. You had your own life, your own friends, your own sphere of existence completely independent of his. Maybe some of that network was neglected during the relationship, and it may take time to rebuild, but it can be done. Follow our 12 step program and re-enter the world again as just you… because you’re worth it (yeah, in the voice of that great L’Oréal lady).

*Note: I’m really jealous of those of you who lose your appetite during a break up (or hangover for that matter). Couldn’t if I tried.

How do you get over a bad break up?! What would you add to our list?



  1. […] • Steps to curing a broken heart. (College Candy) […]

  2. Garnet – Columbia University says:

    Cutting of all communication is SO important. I have a friend who's going through a breakup right now who keeps talking to her ex and it's making her miserable. I'm thinking about stealing her phone.

    1. Nina says:

      You are a really good friend, lol… Wish mine had been more like you, as that is truly her best bet for getting over her ex!

    2. E.B says:

      I'm going through the same does make you feel miserable and give you false hope. It makes it even worse that we were good friends before we started dating.smh

  3. […] 12 Steps For Curing a Broken Heart ( […]

  4. siscamelia says:

    I think hanging out with friends will also help. not only they can cheer you up, they can also make you forget about the ex. meeting with new people will be good too. who knows? :D

  5. […] • Steps to curing a broken heart. (College Candy) […]

  6. Abby says:

    I think giving yourself time to heal before moving on is also really important, jumping at a rebound never helps.

  7. kaywayyy says:

    ahhhh i wish this post was around last april! haha still helpful though, seeing as the breakup was dragged on and rekindled and rebroken because i hadn't seen these 12 steps! lol

  8. that girl says:

    The best thing thats helped me out alott is that No matter what im gonna start thinking of him either good or bad i always tell my self “Dont think of him,think of sonething else”, alot of times till i forget what i was gonna think.that really helped out alott till he started hanging out with my brother, now im all mad at my bro bt i gezz ill keep that stragedy up again.(:

  9. Trudy says:

    Pretend that he died. You can't call him, you can't text him, you won't see him if you drive by his home or work. He is completely gone.

  10. Not good says:

    Uhm.. I fuck with my boyfriend after we broke up O.o


    1. ShelbyNoel says:

      Bad!!!! If he'll sleep with you after you've broken up, and NOT in a relationship… Then he's probably sleeping with other women that he's NOT in a relationship with. Hence, you're not the only one he's boning. And plus, backslides are bad news, and no one can say its just for fun… Someone will ALWAYS get hurt… And chances are its gonna be you. Just walk away. Not worth it.

  11. Lamont says:

    Great Site, Thx! Keep up the great work.

  12. katie says:

    This post saved my life. I just got broken up with a few weeks ago and have had the hardest time coping. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  13. Jess says:

    Well in the past 3 weeks I have lost 6kgs and still going after a 5 year relationship break up I have never felt better :D

  14. Kassy says:

    Its good to assume that he exists.that way u will move on and easy to let it go.

  15. Sara says:

    This guide to breakups is pretty funny:

    It kind of put everything in perspective for me.

  16. Marvin says:

    It also helps to know 1), that when we fall in love, our invention of the other person is what we have fallen for,and 2),you're never missing a thing in a person who cannot reciprocate your feeling. You're fine
    without them, and have nothing to wish for.

  17. Sunny says:

    very interesting…thanks for all

  18. Jeremiah says:

    I think the best way is to pretend as if u weren’t in a relationship with him and try hard to forget everything put yourself busy that’s all u cn do.

  19. My ex said, I can forget him by fallling in love again with another man. It works after I move to another city and do a new hobby…hahaha…

  20. Like any good doctor (because I think I’ll extend the metaphor a bit farther), it’s good to isolate variables causing pain.

  21. Karen says:

    Absolutely no contact worked for me. In my opinion, it's the best and only way to go.

  22. Anh Mulligan says:

    In my opinion, it's the best and only way to go.

  23. ronny says:

    #10 is absolutely wrong to recommend!!! Try being that guy and getting dumped 2 months later. Selfish women…

    1. Jeep says:

      Ronny, Ronny, Ronny. As a fellow “selfish woman” I want to throw in my two cents.

      1¢ I too agree that #10 in my experience has helped me tremendously. However, I think you overlooked the part reads, “ First, you need to be fair to the new man. Let him know your situation and that you're only looking for some casual fun. If he's down, let him take your mind off things.” I gather from the tone of your post that you were not aware of her recent heartbreak. If this is the case and she was not honest with you then shame on her. She wasn’t worth your time.

      2¢ you mentioned that you were “Dumped” two months later…dumped from what? When I’m head-over-heals for a guy, I stop and remind myself that finding a prince amongst a sea of toad takes time. Next time, you may want to take things a bit slower. Get to know each other and find out where you both are emotionally.

  24. Mercy Chow says:

    Try being that guy and getting dumped 2 months later. Selfish women…

  25. Gary says:

    i farted

  26. confusedcutie says:

    Am nt in a relationship now but me n my ex are at the part that what u wud say ‘its complicated’ I love him n he loves me but he just can’t decide between me n his other ex n I don’t know what to do becuz for me he is worth fighting for….but I jus want him to hurry n decide cuz its making me miserable I dnt know what to do about the aituation cuz ppl have given up on him so many times but I dnt want to becuz I really do care for him but I dnt think I can stomach him still caring for his ex also…help me out somebody plz….

    1. kst says:

      retype this in English, he probably wont pick you because your grammar is awful.

      furthermore if he is stringing you along, he's probably not worth it. Leave him with his ex and move on.

    2. ShelbyNoel says:

      If he can't decide to commit to you completely and can't decide whether he wants you or someone else, then he's not really that into the idea of being with you. You shouldn't have to 'stomach' him having feelings for his ex. He's not ready for a relationship, and although it's hard, it's time to move on. Nobody needs to be pulled and pushed around emotionally. Just walk away. You'll look back and realize he wasn't right, and you'll be stronger and wiser for it.

  27. It takes two to make and break a relationship; don’t blame yourself. And don’t entertain thoughts of

  28. I think that there is only one cure: friends! They can help you better than anyone else.

  29. Rude says:

    Confusedcutie…Do you really want to be with a guy that has to choose between you and someone else? Thats not love cutie. I bet your way more special than that:)

  30. sarah says:

    Dear Doctor Agbon I wanted to thank you (yet again) for bringing VILMA back to me. We had known each other for what seemed a lifetime and dated on and off during that lifetime. A couple years ago some rich beau moved to town and swept her away from me. They got married after 2 months of dating and moved away, I had no idea where she was or how to get a hold of her! I requested that the split them up and reunite us love spell be cast for me. A 3days later, out of nowhere, vilma showed up on my doorstep. Said she had been miserable in her short marriage, the guy was great but not for her. I helped her file for divorce and we got married at a justice of the peace two days after her divorce was final. We have been happy every since. You have done more for me that I could possibly ever repay you for. i will advice anyone to contact him for help Email:

  31. Claire Chapel says:

    This article has really great advice. My best friend just got dumped by her guy two days before her birthday. I'm gonna send her this and hope that it helps her realize how amazing she is.

    1. April says:

      out of my two boyfriends, one broke up with me on my birthday, the other broke up with me on valentines day.

  32. one says:

    Great advice.

  33. rocklesson86 says:

    I am going to send this link to my best friend. This might help her.

  34. Robbin says:

    Feelings are met to be express anywhere because of human differences. My life is a good example of it. I have been in love with Justin for the past 2 years but i was a shame and afraid to express my feelings to him cos he was my boss at work. It comes to a time when he notice my behavior and he approach me telling me that he has longed had same feelings for me and we where together happily. The bad side of it is that his parents does not want us to come together as we are of different classes. He was forced to marry another girl of same classes and i was sacked my his mum. A friend who has been to Africa for some road constructions work introduced to me Dr. Oldest. I contacted him but i never believe that it was going to work. It shocked me when Justin mom called me and apologize for all that has gone wrong in the past. Dr. Oldest broke the spell that was been used the other girl. I and Justin are happily married now. I promise to always tell the truth and if you need help contact


  35. faith says:

    When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found DR.TUBE spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you DR.TUBE spell from the bottom of my heart!CONTACT JOHN YI YI VIA THIS…CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS….. faith

  36. I was having a baby with this guy I was dating for three years. On my birthday, he told me he was cheating on me, and had got this other girl pregnant, and he was leaving me for her. It's been a month and I still rip myself up over it, but this is the first thing that made me smile. Thanks. I really appreciate it.

  37. Becca says:

    I was so impressed with the results of my love spell I told my friend to speak with you as well. Thank you ever so much for helping me get my love back. I know you said my energy and intent is as important as yours when casting this spell but I don't think I could have done it without your support. Bless you! Any one who need help should contact Dr. Lametu via email:

  38. Wanda Steel says:

    This is going to be a great help and I'm surely share this to a friend who just got broken hearted. I know it isn't easy but it sure is going to be fine someday. I've been there and it's like heaven and earth collide that I can't even breath at all. The pain is just so excruciating that you feel numb about it. I'm just glad that after 2 years of healing I become stronger and wiser, although I didn't deprive myself to fall inlove again, its just that I become more and more cautious and begin to love myself more not to a point that it made me selfish but just right enough not to become foolish.

  39. mary says:

    he bring my boyfriend back

    i am Mary and i want to thank Dr.henry olu for bringing back my ex boyfriend, we broke up for more than 8 month and he told me that he will never want to see me in his life again. i love him so much to the extend that i could not think of deating any man again, i was confused and depress due to the love i had for him.i did everything i could do to have him come back to me but all went in vain. so i decided to contact a spell caster, i did not believe in spell casting i just want to try it may be it would work out for me. i contacted dr henry olu for help,and he told me that he have to cast a love spell on him, i told him to do it. after 5 days my boyfriend called me and started to apologize for leaving me and also he told me that he still love me. i was very happy and i thank dr henry oul for helping get back my ex back to my hands. his spell is the greatest of all over the world, it was the love spell he cast on my ex that make him come back to me. all you ladies who want back their ex back i want you to contact Dr.henry olu for the return of your ex boyfriend and also your ex girlfriend he can also cast any kind of spell you want him to cast for you. his contact email is just try him and their will be a solution to your case.

  40. a7781274 says:

    I’ve said that least 7781274 times. SKC was here…

  41. paton says:

    My name is Paton
    My ex-husband and I had always manged to stay friendly after our divorce, but I always wanted to get back together with him, and he was never sure. So, I

    thought it was about time I MADE him sure! All it took was a visit to website and a request for a specific love spell, and Odumdu spell’s powers began to

    work his spell is working because guess what: My “ex” is soon to be my husband again! This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you, Odumdu spell. Words

    are not enough. contact him he can be a great help

  42. Gennifer Anderson says:

    Hi My name is Gennifer Anderson just want to share my experience with you on how i got my love back and saved my marriage, so that you can also get back your lover into your life okay.I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child…I have introduced him to a lot of couples people and also the young once who are involve in relationship with their problems across the world. so him me and help so many of my friends help me to thank him is a great man. i want you to contact this man so that HE CAN GIVE YOU MORE advice on how to get back your boyfriend and that you can still be together Email:

  43. Juanita Espinoza says:

    I have met Pedro 5 months ago and I felt since the very first moment this is the love of my life. The first month he had no interest to settle with any one woman. I felt like I dont exist to him. My friend Julia told me, There is this Doktor Prince Ojomale, who helped her in bringing back her lover So I decide to contact him, and he was very nice, and he knew also that Pedro was my soul mate. He made me a Love Spell. After, Pedro he invited me to dinner, then to the disco, then to the theatre. Now he is just mine!! I am so happy and thanking Julia for the help she offered me.

    To friends who are having similer problem with your husband or boyfriend you can also contact Doktor Prince Ojomale on or on his private mail or cell number +2348097350565

    Name: Juanita Espinoza
    Country: Switzerland.

  44. cynthia says:

    After being in relationship with him for seven years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by reffering him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his name is Dr. Joel his email is you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.

  45. xxax says:

    I broke up with my Ex fiance a few months back, in what was a whirlwind of an altercation, and was destroyed, I won't even bother lying about it. Night after night, I racked my brain for a way to get her back. She wasn't returning calls, emails or texts and our mutual friends said she wanted nothing to do with me. I was in rough shape until i found and he guaranteed me in 3days and surely she called me on the phone and and apologized

  46. Ellen Nate says:

    I am really short of words, because i can't finally believe i got my Josh back after been scam by lot of spell caster's promising me false hope not knowing all they really wanted was my money. A million thanks to Mrs Lisa testimony that gave me the heart and confident to trust Dr. Wicca after my lot of experience with other spell casters.
    My boyfriend left me six months ago after proposing marriage to me, just two weeks ago i got him back after contacting ( ) within 48 hours. I didn't expect the spell would work so fast. now we are living happily and getting very ready and set for our wedding, i am so much happy knowing full well there are real, true spell casters who can really make things happen within the shortest possible time. for assistance you can reach him on ( or or his personal cell number +2348097350565)

    Ellen Nate from Turkey

  47. jim says:

    thanks to the great spell caster ASHRASPELL ,You have literally turned my life around for me, as you said you would! My girlfriend left me 3months ago but when i contacted ASHRASPELLTEMPLE and a spell was cast,your spell really worked.My woman and I are marrying next month – she's so wonderful – I have a great new job, our house is beautiful . . . I am going to recommend you to everyone I know, and to the whole world then they too can find happiness and love .

    Thanks a bunch, I will never forget what you have done for me, I mean, for can contact this great spell caster ASHRA on his personal email or +2348131134346 for all your love and personal problem ashra is the right person he did mine he can also do yours,

    Your Friend JIM, Florida USA

  48. Diana says:

    My life entirely changed since I met Dr. Wicca by chance on internet! All my dreams has been turning to real, it's unbelievable! My Husband came back to me within 48 hours as you said and… I didn't expect the spell would work so fast.
    After been scam by lot of spell caster's promising me false hope not knowing all they really wanted was my money. I want to express my warmest gratitude, Dr. Wicca I'll never ever forget all the happiness you gave me. You are truly a man of your word. I highly recommend Dr. Wicca to you for whatever problem you are experiencing whether is love, money or psychic powers. He is powerful. You can contact him on ( or or his personal cell number +2348097350565 )

    From Diana Leah……. Singapore

  49. ellia says:

    thanks to the great spell caster ASHRASPELL ,You have literally turned my life around for me, as you said you would! My girlfriend left me 3months ago but when i contacted ASHRASPELLTEMPLE and a spell was cast,your spell really worked.My woman and I are marrying next month – she's so wonderful – I have a great new job, our house is beautiful . . . I am going to recommend you to everyone I know, and to the whole world then they too can find happiness and love .

  50. jason says:

    my name is Jason i was in the us army and went to Afghanistan leaving my wife and two kids Was away from home for 2 years when i returned my wife told me she was no longer interested in the marriage that if she could survive for 2 years without me the marriage is meaningless.leaving home for 2 years was not easy but not having a family when i came back was more difficult i pleaded continuously with her for 2 years even left the army just to convince her but all my attempt to get her back failed. This faithful day was about to sign a friend guest book when i saw a post about a spell caster at first i laughed but took the email address and phone number after 2days something inside of me just asked me to contact him so i did he asked for her full name and her picture which i sent he told me she was going to call me after 48 hrs to my surprise she called my even before the 48 hrs elapsed and said he was wrong to have left me and said she wanted me back .just using this testimony to encourage other men and even women to contact this great spell caster for good luck spell,marital and relationship problems,wining lottery etc this is his direct contact . and Tel :+2348169138446.
    Thank you.

  51. oluwawa44 says:

    Hello everyone my name is Elizabeth,i came across this man called Dr.Ogungbe through a Lady here online and she said he helped her bring back her lost love,i don't believe in this but i come to think about it and use faith and hope to contact this man last 2 weeks,i have lost my husband for 2 years even he is trying to get married to another lady in Italy,Rome..i quickly rush and email dr.Ogungbe for help and i thought its still a freak because i don't really believe he can bring him back to me because its too long we have contacted each other,we only comment on each other status on facebook and when ever he come online he has never talk anything about coming back to me,now i really believe that there is Magic and Dr.Ogungbe is a really God sent and has Magic because all these things is still like a dream to me,Dr.Ogungbe told me in the first mail that everything will be fine,i called him and he assure me,i have so many doubt but now am happy,i can't believe my love broke up with his Italian lady and he is now coming back to me and he can't even explain how everything goes all he said to me is that he want me back,i am really happy and cried so much because it was just like i am born a new and am really happy and my entire family are happy for me but they never know whats the secret behind this…i want you all divorce lady or single mother to please contact this man for help and everything will be fine i really guarantee you..i have tell 2 of my friends who are in unhappy relationship and they have seen solution in few days ago…if you want to contact him you can reach him through ( (+2348131210107) that is where you can get to him and i assure you it gonna work fine with you and you will be happy
    i am out of words am just happy and i will be happy forever because i can never have any problem having this man
    Elizabeth is my name

  52. Harry says:

    My name is Harry am from USA, i want to give thanks to the great okpa who helped me alot infarct he is not just an ordinary man he is a man that is sent from God to help people who are in need of help like i do.8months ago my wife left me alone and took my 2kids away i was so frustrated and the worstest part of it was that i lost my job. i was so confused last week so luckily a friend of mine came from Mexico to visit me and he find out that my wife and my kid are no longer staying with me he asked me what happened and i told him everything, then he now told me that everything will be alright and he introduced me to the great okpa at first i was full of doubt and the great okpa told me that everything will be alright that after casting a spell that 3days time my wife and my kids will be back and i will get good job,so i decided to give a try.3days after great okpa casted the spell which was on Tuesday morning i heard a knock on my door and i didn't think that it could be my wife the next thing i could see was my wife and my 2kids, she was on her knees pleading and crying that i should forgive her and i was so surprised and at the same time i was filled up with joy.and that same day the job interview that i went for last month they called me and told me that i have won the job i was so surprised and now am working and me and my family are leaving happily than ever before thanks to my mike my friend who introduced me to great okpa and thanks to great okpa for helping me. in case you need help you can contact great okpa through his private mail via; cell phone;+2348056563186. THANKS TO YOU THE GREAT OKPA…..

    Mr Harry

    country USA

  53. faith says:

    Thank you Doctor Deva for your help because since i have been married to my husband i have not be able to get my own kid and my mother in law wants me out of the house because she think i can’t give bath to a baby but since you cast a spell for me and it been five months now since you cast a spell for me and i started seeing changes in me i and my husband are now happy now and we are expecting our baby by June i am very grateful for your help doctor Deva Email: you are more than just a father to me.

  54. lee kima says:

    My Name is Lee Kima, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.USMAN KERIM has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email( then you won't believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.USMAN KERIM for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
    (10)Stop Divorce

    Mobile number…+2348057756157


  55. Suzan says:

    Hi I'm Suzan and I thank Dr Alamikodo for what he's done in my life.He brought back my husband who break up with me 2

    months ago. I really appreciate what Dr Alamikodo has done for my family . Since my husband got back we gave birth to a

    little boy we both love. Thanks Dr Alamikodo for to contact him

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