What Happened to Romance?

Before we get into the thick of this, I want to make something very clear. I am not an overly romantic person. I roll my eyes at cheesy love songs, have absolutely no plans for my wedding, and think the idea of giving each other gifts for every single holiday is not only a bit much but also expensive. I am not a high maintenance girl. I swear– you can check my references. But I’ve noticed a disturbing trend as of late that has made me stop and say something I never thought I would say…

By Jenn Inzetta

What happened to wooing? What happened to a guy and a girl getting together for a date and getting to know each other? What happend to calling a girl to speak to her instead of sending an endless stream of texts? Why are guys trying to arrange and cancel dates via Facebook? It’s awkward and unnatural, and honestly, kind of cowardly. And completely unromantic.

But it’s happening.

Social media has really changed the dating game. Not only does it create a need for instant gratification, but it also creates a whole new set of barriers between people. Why bother making the effort to call a girl when you can just text her? Or better yet, text three girls at the same time? Why try to think on your feet and be charming in person, when you can analyze your every word before sending a carefully worded Facebook message? And most importantly, why bother getting to know a girl when you can just look at her Facebook profile?

A few months ago one of my friend’s Facebook friends added me on Facebook, because he “thought I was cute.” Or at least that’s what he told my friend who told me beforehand.  He friended me, messaged me, and then began talking to me as if he already knew me. As if this is a perfectly normal way to meet someone, instead of, oh, I don’t know…at a bar or in line for coffee.

Call me old fashion, but I think the weirdness of these interactions should at least be addressed. By stalking me via my friend’s Facebook, he essentially picked me out of a catalogue. Then he assumed I would go along with it. There was no wooing whatsoever, no lead up or getting to know each other. There was no effort at all. He just skipped that stage and assumed he knew me, because he glanced at my Facebook profile. And when he did ask me out, for the same night, he was offended that I already had plans. And that “ask out” was for drinks. I’m sorry but when did dinner become out of the question? Are you really supposed to get to know someone in a crowded bar awkwardly sipping a cocktail as you try to decide if you should go ahead and get that third drink?

I mean how much quicker can we make the dating game? Has the need for instant gratification become so great that we don’t even think its worth sharing a meal with a person if we don’t know for sure that it will work out? Technology essentially makes it effortless for guys and girls to get in touch these days. So why not put in a little effort somewhere else? Like on the actual date.

Why not, dare I say it, add a little romance?

Jenn is a communications grad student and social media fanatic who spends her free time reading, writing, watching too much tv and shopping for shoes she can’t afford. At least that’s what her Twitter bio says. Follow her @jenninzetta.