Our Thoughts on Justin Bieber’s New Single “Boyfriend” [Video]
Another day, another Bieber story. But this time, he’s not being accused of impregnating a random woman or having terrible hair. He has a new single! It’s called “Boyfriend.” You know, so that all the little 12 year old girls who are obsessed with Justin Bieber can pretend he’s singing it just for them.
I’ve never been a Bieber fan (cue the angry comments), but I think he’s reached a new level of awful with this song. In the intro, he makes sort of an attempt at rapping, but it’s more like a male version of the Ke$ha sing-talk. And then he starts singing, and from there the song pretty much turns into a Jesse McCartney ripoff.
Some sample lyrical gems: “I could be a Buzz Lightyear, fly across the globe.” Come on Beibs. If I wanted a plastic doll for a boyfriend, obviously I would choose Ken. Oh, and also this: “If I was your man…” Wait, didn’t you just turn 18? LOL. Honey, you are nobody’s “man.”
Sigh. Justin Timberlake, where have you gone?! Please come back and save us from this.
Take a listen and decide for yourself – does this song make you want Justin Bieber to be your boyfriend?
Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.