Stop Having Bad Casual Sex [Sexy Time]

March 29, 2012 9:30 am     Posted in Reality, Sex  Jasmine R. g+ page


By Jasmine R.

There has been a resurgence in people talking about hookup culture. Some people think it’s not so bad. Others are less than thrilled at its prominence. Despite everyone trying to make no strings attached seem cool and desirable, in reality, casual sex often equals lame, unsatisfying, clumsy forays. Yet, for some reason, it has become an actual thing. Hookup culture dictates if you’re single, at least moderately attractive and you’re in your 20s, it is a rite of passage that you make bad decisions, usually fueled by alcohol, low self esteem, loneliness or low-key peer pressure. If, every so often you find yourself entwined with someone and engaging in activities that bore you, disgust you, or leave you feel awkward, degraded, or anxious…please stop.

Life is too short to have unsatisfactory nookie. Having a good story for your friends or your blog is not worth sacrificing your dignity. You are, most likely, not going to find love in a hopeless place, regardless of what Rihanna says. You are not going to find happiness or fulfilling companionship while settling for people you wouldn’t or couldn’t spend more than 30 seconds with while you were sober.

I am, by no means, anti casual sex.  It is not my own cup of tea, but it definitely has a place. But I am so tired of people engaging in it and having nothing to show for it but disillusionment with the human race. If you’re someone who is not comfortable communicating what turns you on and making sure that both you and your partner get off, casual sex is not for you. If you find yourself nauseated and grossed out after random encounters, don’t go there. Do not allow the trajectory of your life to be dictated by societal norms that you are not comfortable with. Not everyone is cut out for meaningless sex, and that’s completely okay.

[Lead image via Wallenrock/Shutterstock]

7 Comments on "Stop Having Bad Casual Sex [Sexy Time]"

  1. Katie Garrity - North Central College says:
    Thu, 29th Mar 201211:21 am 

    I'm definitely not one for casual sex either. I guess I kind of have that mindset you were talking about in the first paragraph: "If, every so often you find yourself entwined with someone and engaging in activities that bore you, disgust you, or leave you feel awkward, degraded, or anxious." Especially the degraded part. I'll keep this post in mind if I ever decided to change my mind about what it means to have casual sex.

  2. Danielle says:
    Thu, 29th Mar 20123:14 pm 

    Totally agree. If you like casual sex for the sex itself then go for it! But too many of my friends do it because they're sad, desperate, or need some reassurance that they're pretty. Or because they secretly want it to turn in something more (which there is a very slim chance of happening). They go through this cycle again and again and don't learn from the horrible feelings they have afterwards.

  3. rawr says:
    Sat, 31st Mar 201212:43 pm 

    I recently stopped the insanity of my bad causal sex buddy. I was with him at the beginning because he was attractive and I LOVE sex. But after the first few times realizing he wasn't up to par (I mean he wasn't totally awful but just alot worse than what I was use to) It took me a while to wake up to this realization but don't have sex just for sexs sake. If you arent having fun, feel like your wasting your time, or feel awkward, give it up. It was hard at first, but I feel so much free now (I'm telling you the last time we had sex he last 5 minutes and the only reason I went over was because it was V-Day) BREAK THE CYCLE LADIES!

  4. Daniel Bowen says:
    Sun, 1st Apr 201211:49 am 

    Very well said! Sex must be done with your loved ones and not with a stranger. Do it if you're in love and not if you're drunk.

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