My 30 day journey comes to a close tomorrow. The results of the challenge have surprised me; I didn’t think it would become so easy. I was masturbating 5-7 times a week, and after 30 days of no touchy-touchy, I feel as though I could go even longer. So, I’m sure you’re all wondering if I will continue on my celibate path… The answer? Hell no.
Here are a few of the things that made my urge to rub one out easier:
Athletics– In any form. Long runs, yoga, weight lifting, it didn’t matter- any expulsion of energy was helpful.
Getting out of the house. Just… can’t be alone with myself.
Exhaustion– No sleep=no extra energy to purge.
Hiding my masturbatory tools. Out of sight, out of mind.
AND the number one anti-sexy thoughterizer… PAIN. Whether it was getting a tattoo or a bikini wax, pain made me dry up faster than a high school couple that snuck home during lunch break to get it on, but what’s that? The sound of a garage door opening? Yeah… dry like that.
A few things to avoid if you decide to embark on a similar journey:
Skirts and dresses. A cool breeze combined with the onslaught of male attention from the sight of bare legs equals naughty thoughts. The fewer naughty thoughts, the better.
Good looking male friends. Surrounding yourself with ugly dudes doesn’t sound like my dreamland, either, but TRUST ME, when I felt myself start to slip the LAST thing I’d want to see was one of my male model pals or personal trainer friends… Stay away from them.
Bike riding. Just… don’t.
Sexy TV shows. SO glad True Blood doesn’t air in the spring.
Although the last two weeks of the challenge weren’t as difficult as the initial two, I miss orgasms. I wasn’t necessarily happier before the challenge when I could masturbate freely, surprisingly, but I really miss orgasms. I miss them like how I assume Chevy Chase feels about his good looks. It is like I hear Dr. Lovegood calling out my name in the night because I seriously believe he has missed me, too. So although I feel no different physically (now that the initial withdrawal symptoms and nervous energy have passed), tomorrow I will remind myself of just what I’ve been missing when I bring the challenge to an end. What began merely as a test of willpower… has ended in triumph.
Way to go vagina, we made it.