$500,000 and 10 Other Awesome Things I Wouldn’t Take From Tucker Max

Planned Parenthood just turned down a donation of $500,000. At first glance, that seems like an awfully dumb thing to do. Why would an organization that needs so much support right now turn down a donation that large? Because the proposed donation was from Tucker Max. Yes, the same Tucker Max that has made a career of being a slimy, misogynist womanizer. If you don’t know who he is, I’ll direct you to his Wikipedia page, because I don’t want to dignify his website with the traffic.

Max has made derogatory comments about Planned Parenthood in the past. One of his tweets about the organization reads: “Planned Parenthood would be cooler if it was a giant flight of stairs, w/someone pushing girls down, like a water park slide.” And don’t forget this one: “In South Florida. This place is awful. Shitty design, slutty whores & no culture, like a giant Planned Parenthood waiting room.”

Max thought it would be super clever and funny to donate $500,000 to Planned Parenthood, which would have gotten a clinic named after him. It was supposed to be a way to promote his new book. You know, so that all the “slutty whores” he writes about can go and get abortions at a clinic named after him! Ugh.

“Jokes” like this one are the last thing women need right now. With so many people working to label women who get abortions and use contraception as sluts, Planned Parenthood was right to turn down Max’s donation. At first, I wondered if it was something they could have turned around to their advantage. Maybe they could have used his money to educate women about misogyny and date rape. But Planned Parenthood is fighting so much opposition right now, and it would have been a bad move to accept money from someone whose image goes against practically everything they stand for. The whole mission of Planned Parenthood is to promote women’s health and our right to affordable healthcare. The last thing they need is for a “Tucker Max” clinic to bring ridicule to their organization.

Since the rest of the words I have for Tucker Max are not appropriate to publish on this site, I made a gallery instead. Here are 10 awesome things that I’ve always wanted, but would never accept if they came from Tucker Max.

Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.



    1. kiera says:

      This is quite honestly one of the worst articles I’ve read in a really long time.

      1. Eliza says:

        Wow! Really? How so? I thought it made several good points, besides the obvious fact that Tucker Max is a festering, necrotic pustule on the ass of mankind. As for not taking the money, I respect their decision. Tucker Max wanted a way to keep his face from fading from the public view and making a joke out of a worthwhile organization was the best way he could think of doing just that. He in now way supports the rights of women and to take money from him would be validating his very existence. Which is a terrible idea. Obviously.

    2. Deb says:

      ANY organization is stupid for turning down such an generous donation, even if Tucker Max said some comments in the past. Some people obviously need to get off their high horse.

    3. USArmy says:

      If they don't want it, I'll take it.

    4. Molly - UNL says:

      Tucker Max isn't really all that bad of a guy, actually. If you read his blog he's smart, intuitive, and actually promotes gender equality. He's playing a character in his books…

      1. Molly - UNL says: There's his stance on's worth the read.

      2. ari says:

        You are a woman. How can you think a guy who is quoted several times in the past calling women sluts and whores is "not really all that bad of a guy".

        Tucker: “I know this really sexy move you can do with your mouth. It’s called ‘shutting the fuck up.’”

        Yeah, he sounds great. Planned Parenthood might've shot themselves in the foot by not taking his money, but he's still an asshole.

      3. Molly - UNL says:

        Like I said in my first comment, he's playing a character in his books. In addition to that quote – he's also said multiple times. "I don't hate women, I love women. Women have every right as guys do to do.." whatever it may be. So..yeah. I don't think he's "all that bad of a guy." I think he's a comedian, a character, and what he writes down should be taken with a grain of salt.

    5. Dawn says:

      You could always train the Hippogriff to maul his ass…

    6. hollywood22 says:

      Tucker Max is a comedian for God's sake. Sense of humors differ though, and he may not be your slice of cake. What else would you call some of the women Tucker beds, because they aren't angels or virginal, innocent women by any means. If you took the time to get passed the stories, you would realize most of what he writes is fabricated, exaggerated and what not.

      Ladies, quit taking yourselves so seriously. Yes, I am a woman. No, I don't play dumb, let men walk all over me and I'm not a slut. I just think we have more threatening men to worry about, like Rick Santorum and everyone else trying to take our rights away.

      1. Zdiddy7 says:

        Nobodys trying to take your rights away- show one quote, one…. God am I sick of misinformed people repeating such stupid statements. What you may be referring to is the fact that most of us don't think we should have to pay for your carelessness with our tax money. Please, do us all a favour, don't vote. You aren't informed enough to make a decision.

      2. D.j. Lord says:

        no one is trying to stop women from going to walgreens and buying a pack of magnums…i doubt its 3000 a year either

      3. Marisa says:

        Well said.

      4. D.j. Lord says:

        does that include obama signing ndaa and looking you up without a trial?….can women have abortions behind bars? they give birth control?

      5. D.j. Lord says:

        locking i meant..

    7. D.j. Lord says:

      next time give the money to bill maher…he hates women but he is a lib so that makes it ok and we know dem groups dont care what he says bout women only the money and of course he only speaks about pub women….you know sorta like democrat harassment and accused rapes being ok and quickly forgotten..

    8. Jamie says:

      I find it ironic that above this article you have one titled "17 reasons Beyonce is better than you". So the wife of a man who won't even publicly claim her and writes misogynistic songs over and over is good enough for your website to praise but Tucker Max who's sense of humor you don't like (which is cool, you don't have to like anyone) offers to donate 500 grand to Planned Parenthood and he is turned down because he's called women whores before; and your site endorses this? I don't like being called a whore (by Tucker) or a bitch (by Jay-Z) but what I really wouldn't like is having no insurance and not having access to screenings which could detect early signs of cancer and the many other things that I thought Planned Parenthood cared about bringing to young women. Thanks for thinking only of your image PP and not of the girls who's lives you could have saved. And thanks College Candy for endorsing that. Anyone who dies from not being able to have access to cancer screenings – well their blood is on you.

    9. Cov says:

      That's a lifetime of Levora PP just denied.

      95% of those stories are a decade old- forget, forgive, & take the cash.

    10. smib says:

      Another ugly chick that hates Tucker Max despite never having met him herself…stunning!!!!!!

    11. Nancy says:

      But no one was demanding for him to danote the ill-gotten money to charity or anything. They were specifically made that he accepted it at all, or didn’t give it back to the donor immediately. I think you’re discrediting people’s funny beliefs here: they don’t treat voodoo money from bad people the same way they treat regular folk’ money. Moral views absolutely influence what they believe money can even be used for at all. Of course, they are probably mostly hypocritical about it, but that doesn’t help a politician.Also, I’m not sure what your point is about Ron Paul. I more or less believe him that he isn’t influenced by donors. And I mean, come on. It’s not like white supremacists, or even racists, make up a meaningful portion of his donations. He has rejected lobbyist money for decades and his publicly released congressional earnings reports demonstrate that. While I am sure that he has his faults like any politician, I do not believe that he would somehow come out stronger against racism if that one-off white supremacist had not given him money. He’s as legitimately ant-racism a candidate as I have seen in the past ~30 years.And, my view is that it would be pretty silly for people to think he can keep the donation but only if he danotes it to some sort of white supremacist victims fund there are far more effective charities to danote to that would help people more. Most folks might have the view you suggested, but that doesn’t make it sensible.

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