How Much Does The Friend Opinion Really Matter? [He Said/She Said]

When it comes to new boyfriends, there are a million thoughts and feelings rushing through our heads and hearts. We can’t eat, sleep, talk, breathe, etc. Sometimes falling for a new guy can feel like being drunk. You don’t act like yourself. You may not notice yourself turning into a complete crazy, but I can tell you that your friends will.

Your friends will tolerate you talking about this new said BF on the regular for only a few short moments. They are going to get annoyed. They are going to want to punch you in the face if you say “us” or “we” in a sentence pertaining to him one more time, but does this bother you? Do we care that much about what our friends think of our boyfriends? Is it a deal breaker if they don’t?

Sad but true fact: I have almost lost two of my closest and best friends because of a guy. I acted like a crazy person. When we first got together, I completely let them in the dust. I didn’t call, text, hang out with them—nothing. I seriously was on another planet. I did not care that they didn’t like my new guy. My mindset was that if they couldn’t be happy for me, then I didn’t need them in my life.  When I was 19, my friend’s opinion of my relationship and my boyfriend did not matter.

Fast forward to now–I’m in my twenties, and I have a completely different view. After a horrible break-up and breakdown with this guy, I was pretty alone. All I kept thinking about was how I could have done this to my friends, and how much they truly mattered to me. I never even knew if they didn’t like him or not, all I knew is that they didn’t like how I was behaving. I was so wrapped up in my guy, that I automatically assumed they didn’t like him and hated our relationship, when really I just never gave them the chance.

When it comes to relationships, yes, it does boil down to the two of you at the end of the day, but your friends matter. To me personally, if my friends aren’t keen on the guy I’m dating, it matters. I know that they don’t have these feelings due to jealously or hate, they have them because they love and care about me. This is something I had to learn the hard way when I was younger, but now I know that guys come and go, but friends last a lifetime. Don’t lose your friends because of a guy.

Curious to see what He Said? Head on over to!

[Lead image via Hasloo Group Production Studio/Shutterstock]



  1. […] CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT NOSY FRIENDS Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Check out these great posts from our partners Big Humps […]

  2. Louise C says:

    Wow- no judging you but dropping your friends over a guy? But seriously- how do you drop your friends for, other than the sexy time, basically just a new friend? You were crazy! I have dropped many a man as soon as my friends gave me the thumbs down. Which, of course, they were right to in retrospect even though it sucked at the time.

    Although I'd like to point out, the thumbs down wasn't 'I don't like him' it was, 'no we do not like him with you'. Just because your friends aren't excited to be his friend isn't a deal breaker, but they could see more clearly that he was a jerk or treating me poorly.

    Bros before Hos!

  3. ally says:

    Personally I don't care what my friends think just because I'm not going to judge their relationship choices either. I also don't mix friends and boyfriends and would never force either to hang out so those two areas of my life don't really cross.

  4. Esther says:

    bless. I've lost a few friends because they chose their guy over me. the first time it happened was the worst because I told her that I didn't think he was good for her, and she turned around and shoved the relationship in my face. unfortunately, it turned out how I thought it would. someone who's truly your friend will have your best interests in mind.

  5. all I knew is that they didn’t like how I was behaving.

  6. Ashley- GWU says:

    My best friend in high school did this same thing and it was a really hard time for me. I definitely learned not to drop my friends for a guy because I know how much it sucks for them!

  7. Chrissie says:

    It does matter to me what my friends think of my boyfriend but only to an extent. If they have a good reason for disliking the guy (like he's a jerk, rude, possessive, etc.) then I'll weigh their opinions more heavily than if they dislike him just because I'm spending a little more of my time with him. I'm not going to dump my guy for my friends just because they don't want to share me with him.

  8. […] • How much does the friend opinion really matter? (College Candy) […]

  9. When it comes to new boyfriends, there are a million thoughts and feelings rushing through our heads and hearts.

  10. Zorbitor says:

    Maybe they're just screwing 24/7 with barely enough time to take a piss. Enjoy it while u can kids and don't forget birth control.

  11. Adria says:

    This struck home. My best friend and I had a fall out senior year of high school (long and complicated story), but got close again after we graduated. Our other close friend and I got together about a year after, and I admit, I got lost in the relationship in the beginning. After awhile, she got fed up, and told me, in a long conversation, what I was doing wrong. Though she was very judgmental, I admit in hindsight that her directness is admirable. But at the time I couldn't handle knowing I'd let her down. So when she asked for me to respond – I couldn't. So she moved on with her life. I don't hold it against her.

    It was my first time experiencing that kind of love – and being in a real relationship. It was uneven ground. I'm still with my boyfriend now – and he makes me very happy. There were other problems between my friend and I other than my relationship. But I definitely learned from what happened. I still hurt inside that I hurt her, but in the end, I feel like what's meant to happen will, and that the best thing I can do is to absorb the painful lessons.

  12. missheidi says:

    yah, I am going through the same thing with a friend of mine, she is the most beautiful young woman, but she is with a big creep. when ever she is with him she like transforms into someone i really don't know or like, just being honest! He treats her like crap, she has absolutely no selfesteem when she's with him, he uses her to the fullest and in the lowest of ways. He is totally going to bring her down. I told her how i felt and what I see is happening when she is with him, its sad cause she has never had a friend like me before who is truly looking out for her best interest. So she really isn't sure what my motives are, well she does until she goes bsck around him, then she acts like I am up to something, and gets all suspicious toward me. it hurts me to see that jerk playing with her haert and mind at the levels that he is doing it at. I just have to continue being true blue until she realizes its not love he is only a habit and a bad one at that!

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