11 Signs He’s A Cheater! [Dude’s List]

All men are capable of cheating. Hell, all people are! Let’s not pretend that there aren’t temptations and that there aren’t opportunities. There are times when it’s just a slip and then there are other times when it’s a damn Charlie Chaplin sketch. The question is, how do you know if he’s cheating on you? What are the signs and what are the ways you can decipher them? If you think your man might be cheating on you, here are 11 tells that you should look for a combination of.

One on its own may not be enough to convict, but if several of these apply to your beau…well…more on that in a bit.

Is he cheating? Is there someone else? Do these signs mean what you think they mean? The biggest problem with everything on this list is that if you’re asking these questions, you’re having some trust issues. There could be no girl, and these signs could end up being totally innocent. So why don’t you trust him? That’s the most important question to ask, and it’s one you have to ask the one you’re looking at in the mirror. That aside, how doYOU think you could tell if he’s stepping out on you?

[Lead image via Shutterstock]



  1. carolinacourtland says:

    Yeah, those are good.

  2. Sam says:

    All men are capable of cheating?? Really? Well, I think some men cheat, but some men don't. And some men have been cheated on and got really hurt, even though they did everything for the one they loved and stayed faithfull…

    1. Sam says:


    2. Molly - UNL says:

      He's saying that all men have the capacity to cheat, all humans do, not that they necessarily will.

    3. The Dude says:

      Pre-xactly! Thank you, Molly!

  3. ACM says:

    TRUE. I just dealt with a cheater, I'm still quite bitter about it. I heard those EXACT words, he was "WITH STEVE!" Yeah effing right!!!! BUT Here's an even bigger sign: You know who he's with, but they're NOT facebook friends!! That's apparently Rule #1: Don't let your mistress appear on Facebook until you get DUMPED. Then do whatever you want with her, she's got the sloppy seconds!!

    1. The Dude says:

      How did you find out who he was with?

    2. ACM says:

      He told me all about her, how they were "friends" and how nothing was happening, but their behavior got weirder and weirder. Honestly, I had a nasty feeling about it for months, I was in such denial though. But on Christmas night she called at 1:00 am. NOBODY calls on Christmas, that's family day, and after midnight? Forget it! I grabbed my presents and I was OUTTA there!!

    3. ACM says:

      After that, I got lots of drunk, sorry phone calls, I got him to admit everything. Still makes me sick… :(

  4. Dave says:

    You left out "can't keep HER lies straight." Sorry but this is a little silly considering that 40% of women cheat vs 25% of men.

    1. Steersky says:

      Not to sound skeptical, but here goes: 40% of women cheat? I don't think so. 40% is pretty damn near half, and I'd say that in my experience talking with both men and women, men are more likely to cheat on their wives/girlfriends. The number one cause of divorce is male infidelity. Women cheat too… but I'm sorry, NOT as often as men do.

    2. The Dude says:

      Do they not? Or do they just not get caught as often as men do? There's a bit of a double standard and stereotype at play here. I mean, men it's expected that they'd at least want to cheat because they're considered more sexual whereas the stereotype is that women are the more emotional and thus likely to be more monogamous. I think that's conditioning, not so much nature, in this day and age. Be wary of statistics. They're a wonderful way to make an argument but they're not always that valid. Look at the amount of rapes that go reported, male vs female, and how that reflects actual instances. They say 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted in their life but men? When it comes to sex, in any form, there seems to be an imbalance among the genders as to what's reported.

  5. hahalizzay says:

    Well, I'm pretty sure it's a HUGE red flag if you catch them in the act…

    1. Aly says:

      HAHA yea i thought that was kinda too obvious too …
      but good list in general :)

    2. The Dude says:

      Thanks for the feedback!

    3. Randomamil says:

      You don't know that, he could be taking up back alley gynecology, testing a new mattress to ensure its quality, using body heat to stay warm so as not to die, or one of a million other reasons that two people end up naked and entwined together.

  6. […] • 11 signs your man is cheating. (College Candy) […]

  7. ??? says:

    The purpose of a video on the internet is so that people can watch it, don't you think it's a little paranoid if someone had looked up "11 signs your husband's a cheater"
    I realize anyone can cheat and it's very wrong but seriously

  8. rocklesson86 says:

    My mum hired private investigator.

  9. Sophia says:

    Great list! #2 has definitely happened to me unfortunately. Also this list can be applicable to girls and boys!

  10. bullshit says:

    yeah this list might be right SOMETIMES, but its only coincidence. its bullshit to say these are 100% true. sometimes i just get bored of a girl and get distant or "invisible" – doesn't mean I'm cheating.

    1. Moonshadow says:

      If you get bored of a girl, why string her along with getting 'distant' or 'invisible'. It's unfair and makes you look bad. Why not be honest with her and break it off…? Then you can move on.

    2. mercy says:

      My Name is MERCY.I will love to share my testimony to all the people
      in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and
      she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4
      weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never
      picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her
      facebook status from married to Single…when i went to
      her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost
      my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was
      upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried
      all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a
      Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been
      developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed
      through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he
      gonna help me…i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore
      he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left
      me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that
      from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the
      results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the
      following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy
      casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for
      the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days
      that is Thursday…My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on
      Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew
      what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she
      promised not to do that was like am dreaming when i heard
      that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him
      my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet… he said i
      will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they
      called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday
      and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home
      without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back
      and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back
      too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him
      in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also
      helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all
      happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested
      in meeting the man for can mail him on this e-mail i cant give out his number cos he told me
      he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said
      his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he
      helped u out too..good luck

    3. The Dude says:

      Amen. There's nothing on here that's 100% proof positive. Well, except for actually catching him in the act. Most are coincidental, but would you agree people looking for something wrong will turn coincidences into something more than they are?

  11. Ugh, I hate the internet.

    1. The Dude says:

      Me too, but hey, it's everywhere. We either log off and abandon it or just accept there's more sh*t than substance.

  12. Not necessarily! He can be cheating on someone and acting as normal as it is possible!

    1. The Dude says:

      Very, very true…

  13. jake says:

    I have recently come out of a relationship where my partner has accused me of fancying/looking/liking/admiring/aknowledging other women and of having an affair online etc… none of which is true!!! Having to walk around with your head down and walking on egg shells was no fun, neither was trying to get a job after moving to be with my partner.

    If we all set these tips as gospel and started looking for signs then we would go crazy, these kind of posts distress me as not all of us are bad egg's and i have had a really traumatic experience with my Ex over sh** just like this and constant bombardment of scenario's to test my faithfulness..i mean wtf if your insecure to the point you cant give your partner a life and your monitoring everything they do and are practically locking them up all day then then you don't deserve to be in a relationship.. there is no excuse for cheating and some of us guys are actually aware of this.

    Your so called dude's list i'm afraid needs more work…(possibly removing imho) it's a shame men yet again get a bad name here and really hit's a nerve for me having had all this crap projected at me on a daily basis for months.

    1. The Dude says:

      Hey Jake,

      I'm really sorry to hear you've gone through such a tough experience recently. It sounds like you were bullied and treated unfairly by your partner. You're definitely now opened up to better possibilities and you've got all the tools necessary to make sure you never go through another experience like this one again, that's one benefit of hindsight at least. Hang in there, and no, I don't think these tips are meant for the gospel, they're more meant for escapism. If a person were looking for signs of him cheating, it means that person's already looking for a way out of the relationship, or at least a way to control the relationship. It's very unhealthy. Best of luck, feel free to write in, and I hope you keep reading. Best, The Dude

  14. really?? says:

    dont know who wrote this but any girl actively looking out for those signs is doing a great job destroying a relationship: checking the phone, asking about every other girl that likes a fakebook post, getting suspicious about him doing something special for her

    The "signs of a content boyfriend are sloth and gluttony" what is this? girls really want someone to fall into a comfort zone that does nothing for them?If he does nothing for you, he's cheating, if he does a lot, he's cheating, if he tries new stuff, he's cheating, even if he doesnt call out on your face that that other girl is hot, he's not being polite, he's cheating!

    1. The Dude says:

      I completely agree with your first paragraph…you can see the last paragraph of the article for further evidence of that. If you look for cheating, you're destroying a relationship, because you're already looking for a way out. Any girl actively looking for these signs wants out for one reason or another. Great observation and thanks for reading.

  15. Andy says:

    Articles like this are so caustic. Maybe women should stop looking for cheating and enjoy the relationship. The minute you start digging, the relationship is already over. You're not enjoying it anymore and neither is he. If you're snooping and worrying and being paranoid all the time, no one is happy.

    1. Sara says:

      I thought we had a good marriage – the house, dog, 2 kids, etc. Until one day, shortly after our son was born, he left his email up – open to an email from the gal he had been seeing when he travels for work, for the past 3 YEARS! I was floored, devastated, hurt.

      He tried to blow it off as nothing, then he got mad and started accusing ME of cheating (yeah, in between the babies naps, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, & the other one coming home from school, me & the mailman were having a romp… right…) He even went so far as to put spyware on the computer & enlisted his buddies to spy on me & even fucking follow me if I left the damn house!! loser!

    2. CHICA says:


    3. Ashleigh says:

      I don't agree. Its not about "digging and snooping" its about having your eyes open. Women can get waaayyy more emotionally entangled and blind to some obvious signs that the other party is not pulling their weight.

    4. jqsd says:

      "stop snooping and enjoy the relationship" means "let me cheat. you won't know, i can still cheat. everyone's happy!" lol.

      newsflash, the moment YOU start CHEATING the relationship is over. don't guilt the girl because she found out your behavior. that's manipulation and she'll be happier without that mental crap.

    5. The Dude says:

      Absolutely!!! Couldn't agree more, Andy.

  16. jennifer says:

    Its all true abt guys.

  17. Arlene says:

    Hi, this is a question for all the guys out there: How many in long term committed relationship guys do you know who have no friends at all apart from 1 really hot blond bombshell … And I mean no friends other than this girl. No male friends at all. Just curious whether this is normal for you guys?? I don’t know of anyone except my husband. He phones her every day and then face books her every night. He is secretive about his phone and Facebook accounts he sends her flowers on her birthday, Christmas and buys her expensive perfumes. Should I be concerned??? I personally do not think this is healthy .. He won’t go out with other guys to a pub or to play pool whatever guys do…. Please advise thanks xx

    1. Katie says:

      That's pretty much every obvious sign of cheating rolled up into one. Make him make a change or get out. That's an incredibly unhealthy relationship. Mistress or girlfriend, whatever she may be to him, it needs to end with the other chick walking out the door or you. Stand up for yourself. But it's a good thing he's so obvious about it versus having to discover it and being blindsided.

  18. SophiaJ says:

    Although I have never been cheated on- I will keep these in mind for my next relationship haha! love it

  19. Sopia says:


    Sounds like he is cheating/obsessed with the hot blonde… time to move on!

  20. Kay says:

    I just got out of what I thought was a good relationship: we treated each other pretty well, we were both honest and we both had respect for each other. (Or I thought we did.) Then, out of no where I get an email and a phone call from a woman that claimed to be his wife and had children with this man, I was with at the time, calling me a home wrecker when I was naive enough to believe that he told me what I thought was the truth: he wasn't married and didn't have any children. In other words, I thought he didn't HAVE A WIFE OR CHILDREN. Once I confirmed it by confronting him about it, I left.

    My point is why can't men/ women just be honest?! If they don't want to be in the relationship have the decency, and respect for said significant other if nothing else, to BE A MAN and tell it straight: That you enjoyed the relationship while it lasted, and I hope you have a beautiful life. It's not that HARD to say! Why can't there be anymore REAL MEN in this world to at least tell the truth and have some respect! Oh and just looking at some of these "signs of cheating" it's laughable! If nothing else this article made me smile!

    Bottom line is if someone wants to cheat then they're a coward. It takes someone of real character to at least tell a person straight when they've lost interest in the relationship. Just saying!

  21. lifetime movie worthy says:

    My husband of 20 yrs passed away Dec. 2010…we had a VERY faithful relationship. 7 months later I started dating again…met a great Guy and things went REALLY fast. About 2 months went by and he informed me that he had to go to Colorado for his job and we wouldn’t get to see each other much…we details used we loved each other enough to keep the relationship going….I had no reason not to trust him…and…because I was in such a faithful relationship I had no clue what to look for…I trusted him. We didn’t see each other for 2 months but he called everyday 5/6 x just to tell me he loves me (less than a min. everytime) fast forward to Jan 2013…he calls me saying he has no internet and needs info on his bank accredited, but to do so I have to go to his emails….multiple messages from Kristie….so I email her to let her know she isn’t the only one. She stays with him but we meet and he tells me I’m the one he is in love with but he is scared and can’t do the emotional part and she can’t hurt him like I can…she’s the easy way so he stayed with her but still talked to me every day as a friend…fast forward to mid Feb. He calls me wants to be with me…can’t live without me….the next day he freaks out says he can’t do it… I shut him out of my life for 2 months and lived my life to make me happy. I was stupid one day and text him just to see if he was OK..he’s bipolar and they changed his meds so I was concerned a out his health….we started seeing each other again in April and I know he hasnt cheated

  22. lifetime movie worthy says:

    But he still says he don’t know if he can do a relationship or not. WTF!!? I Wish he would make up his damn mind…I know he loves me but I’m sick of playing the effing games…I’m emotionally drained and told him its over…I deserve better.
    He can’t go a day without calling me and tells me he loves me and he’s ready to get a place together…..I love him but damn……any opinions or advice from anyone? I’m having a hell of a time with this…at what point does love become not enough?

  23. annie says:

    One very scary thing that I have noticed are the number of attached men that have sex with trannies or bisexual men on a regular basis. Yes i'm on an adult site – because i don't want a relationship – been there, done that & got the emotional scars to prove it. i do not see attached men or those that are bisexual – closet ot otherwise simply because bisexuality ijn males is the most dangerous demographic as far as contracting & spreading STI.s.

    As far as i'm concerned men are only useful for a very few things – things that require greater strength & sex. For goodness sake we don't even need them for breeding because of the advances in science.

  24. brad says:

    But…what if Yvonne Stahovski really doesn't do it for me?

  25. chris60 says:

    Cheating is often a symptom of emotional disconnect. Sex without connection is a symptom of the times and many people confuse sex with a level of attachment that may not exist. Many people have attachment disorders and are incapable of intimacy due to abusive prior relationships or an inability to sustain a healthy relationship. Fidelity is not the only sign of a good relationship – you should also like each other and be willing to give and take to keep the relationship going. The emphasis on perfection and finding someone else to make you happy is a recipe for disaster. Be happy by yourself and know what you want and need and try to be the kind of person you would like to meet. unfortunately if your parents were poor role models you may tolerate or attract similar people into your life and not have the inner radar to warn you away or to go slow until another person earns your trust or commitment. No point blaming the other person, better to focus on improving yourself and making better choices to avoid further mistakes. As a middle-aged woman I find the emphasis on sex as a primary bonding element to be a recipe for disaster. Think character, behaviour and values instead of being blinded by lust dust. If he or she likes you he or she makes an effort to please you and maintain contact. We treat those they like with respect and offer support, affection and attention. Few people actively listen… Few people wait and observe before plunging in… And few people change if some routine gives them what they want. Decide what you want and need and stick to the list until you find a compatible match when dating. Sometimes being single can be far easier and healthier that the drama and energy lost in a bad or draining relationship. if logic fails, listen to your body as a cue to whether someone or something seems right or wrong for you. If you feel stressed, drained, frustrated, sad or confused after an interaction this suggests a bad sign for the future. You in danger, girl! Go slow or get out.

  26. Lisa says:

    Ive been in a long distant relationship with a guy and we see each other every weekend,,sex then see you next weekend, to me it is making me feel like I don't know myself anymore

  27. Anonamis says:

    Why do people get in a relationship if they wont even keep it going?

  28. Very educative and formative. Human behavior unpredictable. Only God can gives a good gift of faithful partner. It is very unhealthy to nose around for negative information on a partner. The presures of the time makes relationships very challenging. i recommend faithplay love relationships for peace and long life.

  29. gina says:

    The only true love out of all loves or relationship is the creator of man and women. besides you love those who even do u dirty and forgive them and move on you not or dont know your time end of your lifes journey there will be a destanation at some point, just be you and if someone in you life or not it all comes down to the who you are and your belief. we all pasting through this life so what ever happens bad or good acceptedo rejected be assure the lord lovesand lovedyou more then you parents. you come in this world with nobody and most of the time you leave by yourself. keep going no matter what and keep a smile in u heart lord has many he can help u choose from get rid of the zero and grab a hero. be you godbless be safe. ms. gina

  30. kei says:

    When you start doubting, it all messes up.
    Enjoy thr ride while it's hot.
    If it doesn't work out time will tell.

  31. a9007976 says:

    I’ve said that least 9007976 times. SKC was here…

  32. Veronica says:

    They all do it but some don’t get cought

  33. Elle O'Donnell says:

    I wouldn't take this personally, people. It works both ways, and it boils down to this: if a person's behaviour suddenly changes significantly, something is going on. And sudden behavioural changes may not be indicative of cheating, they may be symptomatic of a brain tumour or mental illness. Or reaching an age milestone, or a personal milestone. Or perhaps some version of an internal, familial or societal narrative is affecting a person in unexpected ways.

    The moral of the story is "don't expect good advice from the internet".

    P.S. If you're going to cite statistics, and wish to be taken seriously, please include a reliable source from a peer-reviewed, evidence-based, professional journal or three? Thanks.

    1. Willie Wonka says:

      That is So True. It's not always Cheating Get All yhe facts firstIm a Fuckin Luniatic from a Brain Injuy .due t being mowed down on the sidewalkIin Drcember Iaccuse my Man of chating all yhe time.and .the crazy shit I visualize that he does with Other Woman..In reality it would be TOTALLY Impossible to accomplish.Thank You for the Input I knew I wasnt Tottaly crazy. Im still ALIVE.

  34. vanessa puchi says:

    i saw a comment testifying of ashra great power and ability to re unit once love and ex lover so i copied its email and sent him an email and i he replied following all the instructions my husband is back with me now i want to thank the great ashra for helping me to cast a love spell that brought my husband back to me within 48hours of me contacting him,you can contact ashra on email address or his personal phone number +2348131134346

    Mrs Vanessa PUCHI

  35. selena says:

    I know in my heart that fool was cheatting on me but i left his ass no sex nothing anymore!!! I even block the fool numbers all of them!!! As a matter of fact he knocked on my window this morning an i tease his a–!!! F— him, i droped his a– like a bad habit an thats a rap do something!!!

  36. Sonny says:

    numbers 1, 3, 6 and 8 I have to say are BS.
    Whoever wrote this is in a boring relationship.
    There is nothing wrong with bringing new moves into the bedroom, improving oneself and showing romantic gestures. This is how good relationships last. Anyone who does these things shouldnt be accused of cheating.
    It's called keeping it interesting, that's how you AVOID cheating.

  37. That dude says:

    Am I wrong or did a woman write this because she doesn't know a thing.

  38. Jonny Chexx says:

    Yea it’s me. I stumbled upon the article just interested in what the modern woman is thinking (or the person that wrote it). Some of these signs make sense to beware of but then there just signs people! All men are not like this! There are men out there that care about there relationships enough to say “hey things are boring i should spice it up” by dressing a little better maybe taking them out to a really nice dinner just to say I love you. Ive had to do this myself after a 6year relationship, but All of a sudden theres a reason to be suspicious just because routines change and we didnt send you a memo about it? This is why men LEAVE! Some women cant get a grasp of what is going on and turn else were instead of to thier partner! If he’s (or she because Ive been on both sides of this table) is cheating your going to find out. If their cheating its because of a disconnect in the relations between the TWO. All in all what i guess I’m saying is by all means dont ignore these but dont read the book by its cover. Every situation is differnt.

  39. bobby says:

    Ok I got a question. Why does she have access to his email? Is it just me or does she have trust issues to NEED to have access to his phone and email. The watch everything he does attitude isn't very attractive.

    The woman that wrote this article needs to get rid of some of her cats and go on a real date.

  40. Bruce says:

    Genuinely no matter if someone doesn’t be aware of after that its up to other users that they will help, so here it occurs.

    Take a look at my homepage – jesse james

  41. Brat says:

    My BF cheated on me BIG TIME, and was guilty of every single one of these things…most back then, and a couple even now. Hmm… Was I a fool to take him back??

  42. Leisha says:

    My BF was guilty of the no sex (2-3 x in 2 years) and not letting me look on his phone, something was up but he always had excuses, how dumb was i, we still talk, and i love him, but nothing will be same, but who wants it to be anyways! I cheated on him before, and I regret it to this day, i was a dumbo for that. He didn't treat me like a princess after that :( like he use to, but he was good to me, then a few years later, he cheats on me, no reason why yet, but if it goes any farther then friends i need to know. He cried and told me he made a mistake, my cheating ways get his goat everyday, maybe we should have broken up then but we didn't and choose to be together, then this happens, Its even worse because it started 6 months after we had a first baby:( were stuck together for life because of that if he keeps being a good dad, which is good for my baby, but still….i want everything to work out and us be a family who is faithful but time will tell and i am being strong for myself and my baby! and not rushing anything, time will tell

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