Ask A Dude: What’s The Best Way To Meet Guy Friends?

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Hey Dude,

What is the best way to meet good guy friends? I’m not talking boyfriend prospects, just good friends. I recently transferred to a new university and have always been “one of the guys”…how do I get a good group without being asked out on dates?


Girl Looking For A Boy Friend

Dear Girl Looking For A Boy Friend

Have you tried not having a vagina?

That’s about the only way to guarantee not being asked out by a straight guy. Otherwise, I can’t offer much in the way of guaran-damn-tees. If a guy’s interested, he’s interested. In fact, most guys are interested-at one point or another-in their female friends. That’s actually how a lot of guys get female friends. It’s a wrong turn down a one-way street to the Friend Zone. You’re just looking for a way to quicken the journey for him.

You’re at a new university and consider yourself one of the guys, get involved in things that a lot of the guys are going to get into. Maybe it’s a sports club, a film club, hang around a frat house during the day, go to a lecture and chat up a guy, and if you want it to remain platonic just make it clear: talk about your exes, past relationships, ask if there are other guys’ relationship status, or you could always try the honest approach and say, “I’m looking for a friend, not a hook up.”

I could give you all kinds of cliché advice: burp in public, cuss, don’t wear make-up, don’t wear clothes that show off your body, and so on. All of those things have a common denominator: you trying to create a persona rather than just being yourself. That’s why I’m not going to give you those suggestions.

Be you. Act like you. Do things that interest you and when doing so involves you crossing paths with a group of guys, go up to them and say, “Mind if I join you?” One or two might be interested but that’s not something you can control.

Friends can be found most readily in places you feel welcome and are willing to welcome others.

“Avengers Assemble!”

Captain Dude



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    5. get me outta toyland says:

      Thanks for this post. This topic has been a bit hard for me. While I have a boyfriend, I am friends with his friends, and they … you know… hold eye gaze a bit long, have these gentle smiles. I doubt they would ever act on their feelings because of their loyalty and respect of my boyfriend, but it can make me feel awkward. I definitely don't like it. Worse, my boyfriend absolutely tries to be sneaky but is always checking out the ladies and has lady friends he's super flirtatious with. I feel that most guys are attracted to most women so it's a definite challenge in a monogamous relationship.


      We broke up for a while and he was sleeping with other ladies, but now that we're back together, he insists he'll be faithful. But I'm not going to ask him to give up his lady friends.

      This is all normal, right?

      There is a good chance my bf is just a normal guy and we'll be okay? Or is my head up my ass?

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