Cosmopolitan magazine just came out with its ever-so-popular ‘Sex Issue.’ While it has been a good many years since I paid much attention to Cosmo (I mean, you can only read so much of the same tongue twirling, ball cupping, kegel clenching tips), I couldn’t help but get curious when I saw it sitting on my coworker’s desk. What 99 new tips have they come up with that are sure to please my man? What is the latest and greatest in sex and dating trends that I’ve missed while I’ve been, you know, actually sexing and “dating”?
Glancing through May’s issue was painful. I couldn’t help but notice that the editors at Cosmo are pretty out of touch with their audience. Their ideas on dating are, well, dated. Which makes sense– most of the top-line and executive editors are probably over the age of 40, and they’re probably married. No, I don’t mind older women who are married. But I do mind these women acting as an authority on the contemporary dating scene. Especially because they’re still calling it a “dating” scene. Someone please get these women a copy of ‘The Gaggle’, STAT. Ladies, if you want advice that is actually applicable to your current love life, take it from Becky and Jess over at WTFisUpWithMyLoveLife.com. In the future, an entire post will be dedicated to my love for these brilliant young women and their perspective on the post-dating world, but I digress.
Cosmo did a small piece called, ’8 Date Ideas Dudes Dig.’ After sending it around to a select group guys–guys most girls would be thrilled to date–my suspicions were confirmed: Cosmo is still missing it. While I’m impressed they sourced their research back to HowAboutWe.com, a sure step into the “modern dating” direction, they failed to acknowledge a vital point. HowAboutWe users aren’t looking for ‘dates,’ because our generation doesn’t ‘date.’ We go on a series of non-dates until it becomes evident that we are in some non-platonic, more exclusive, modern day version of a “relationship.” And it works for us. People using HowAboutWe.com aren’t asking a specific person out for a choreographed encounter. They are saying, “Hey, I want to do this activity. Anyone want to do it with me?” Regardless, the list that Cosmo curated from the site was pretty interesting. Some of the ideas include:
• Search for the best hummus in town
• Take a wine class together then test our skills at a nearby bar
• Go for a run then undo the workout at a great restaurant
• Go for a walk and trade iPods to get to know each others’ musical taste
Beyond the fact that a few of these ideas are pretty niche, what I would call kind of lame, and not conducive to getting to know someone at all–who are the guys who submitted them? Cosmo claims that these activities are “the ones most often submitted by guys.” But which guys? How old are they? And what does ‘most often’ mean? I don’t know too many guys dying to take a wine class or go on a walk listening to a girl’s iPod. Who goes on a walk with someone while wearing head phones? And I get it. These things are subjective. Some people may be into that sort of thing, but I find it suspicious that this is something dudes everywhere are chomping at the bit to do.
Jordan (23, music producer) commented, “I would have to say, in general, that the whole idea of a planned date prevents the spontaneity that people our age love so much. Signing up for something like a class or planning something so detailed as a walk to exchange iPods doesn’t leave any room for weird, funny shit to happen – you get too wrapped up in what you’re supposed to be doing based on the date plan.” Each guy I spoke with took issue with the iPad idea. Most said it seemed super awkward and borderline an invasion of privacy. So who are my guys?
I chose 10 boys who range from 19-32, both single and in a relationship who represent a range of professions: from the college student to the television producer, from the writer to the banker. I decided to ask them a series of questions to determine how they’d actually like to get to know girls. What kinds of things do they want to do with girls? I wouldn’t say their responses will shock any of you into epiphany, but at least you’ll get a well rounded male perspective. Just as there is no magical list of perfect dates that every woman will agree on, there’s no set list for men. Planning a great outing depends on getting to know the tastes and interests of the particular guy in question.
Chris (30, television producer) said something that I believe a lot of men would agree with. “I find myself assuming most guys are like me, even though I know they probably aren’t. But I just like to do what I like to do and bring someone I like along. I’m not making plans too far in advance, and what I like most is hanging out with my friends or watching TV or going to sporting events. I know that a more old fashioned or more demanding gal isn’t crazy about this notion, but I’m just one guy.” It’s been my personal experience that guys are, in fact, a lot like Chris. I think he nails it.
So, without further ado, here is the list of 8 things my guys want to do with you:
What do you think, boys? What would you add? Let us know below!