I have a bone to pick with you, CollegeCandy. Why didn’t you guys tell me how horrifying OB/GYN appointments are? [Ed. Note: We're sorry, Khalea!]
Though I’ve visited a gynecologist before, it was mostly routine stuff – weigh ins, urinating in a cup, a breast exam and lots of chatting with really sweet nurse practitioners. This time, however, was completely different. I hadn’t been to the doctor in a while, so I didn’t expect a huge difference. I should’ve known that things would get u-g-l-y (with no alibi, natch).
Everything was basically the same until the doc asked me to open up wide…not my mouth, though. Further South. She then proceeded to prod and prick places where I’d never let anyone see, ever.
“Haven’t you done this before?” she asked.
So just FYI, I’m a virgin. The only action that goes on down there is my Kegel exercises!
I guess that the pangs of growing older include awkward doctor visits, boring surveys and general assumptions about my sexual history. I don’t know whether to be offended or indifferent when people automatically assume that I’m not a virgin. It’s definitely happened more than once. At work, my boss asked if I was signed up for the company’s birth control reminder alerts and other forms of awareness for sexually active people. I didn’t bother mentioning that having a baby was a non-issue for me, unless it was Immaculate Conception.
I’m really not ashamed of my virginity – I’ve actually made it my goal to wait until marriage. But it seems like everyone else in the world has an issue with it. I chatted with a male friend who said that guys don’t like messing with virgins. “They’re clingy as hell!” he said. I’ve heard several men say that they don’t have the time or the patience to “teach” a virgin, either. I’ve heard the same thing from my girls, too!
It’s kind of interesting that the social status of virgins has changedwithin our generation. Premarital sex is strictly prohibited in Islamic communities. Catholic women who remain virgins have a “higher status” within their communities. The Greek goddess Athena was a virgin, too! But in my circle, I’m considered a late bloomer.
Maybe one day I’ll find someone who’s handsome, smart, funny, charming, patient and willing to wait…and teach. But until then, I guess it’s just me and Mary.
Do you have any friends who are virgins? Is it something they chose or something they feel “stuck” with? Why does virginity get such a bad rap? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.
[Lead image via CREATISTA/Shutterstock]