So I’ve got a BIG problem, and I don’t have any clue what to do. I’ve been dating this guy for almost 8 months, and we’re crazy about each other. We’re basically that couple that’s so in love no one can stand to eat around us. Here’s the problem: I’m fairly certain my ultra conservative, Republican dad is going to hate him. How do I introduce him to the family as someone I am really serious about?
Dating A Lefty
Dear Dating A Lefty,
Be afraid! Be very afraid! There’s nothing more frightening than taking a boy home to meet the parents, especially when your dad is Glen Beck – I mean Robert DeNiro – I mean Hulk Hogan – I mean…you get the idea. Dad’s and daughters tend to have a certain special bond between them. In your dad’s eyes you’re his little girl, and though he must acknowledge that you’re old enough to be an adult and certainly having relationships with guys, the idea of you having sex CANNOT ever enter his realm of consciousness. It will go unspoken for your entire lives. (Unless you’ve got a really open dad.) And what does the boy you bring home represent? SEX.
So how do you prepare for this momentous event? Well, you have to take care of both sides of the introduction you’re about to make. The one thing that ruins first impressions is a surprise. You’ve got to be totally upfront with your folks about who this guy is, how long you’ve been dating, that you care about him, and basically tell them everything you think they might hate about him BEFORE he shows up. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are arguments to be made against this.
If you point out everything you think your dad may hate, he’ll start looking for them, right? Well, yes. But at the same time you’re diffusing a situation before it becomes a situation. That’s why I recommend full disclosure. And by full disclosure, I mean you have to include how much you care about him, the positive qualities, the fact that it’s serious, and that you want your dad to give him a chance. Being upfront is the best policy.
Be upfront with your boy, too. Let him know he’s walking into a potential mind field. On the one hand you might spook him, but at least he’ll be on his guard and ready for what comes what may.
With both sides knowing what to expect when they meet, there will be less pressure X factors to be concerned with.
At the end of it all, it comes down to a simple handshake between the two men in your life. “Dad, I want you to meet ‘Stormageddon’ and ‘Stormageddon’ I want you to meet my dad,” and they’ll take it from there. All you can do at that point is try to avoid politics for the first couple of interactions and tell your boy to leave his Obama CHANGE shirt back at the dorms.
Bringing Folks Together,
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to editor [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]