Finding a Boyfriend Through Online Dating, Week 1 [One Month Challenge]

I have been single for almost two years. It’s been good. It’s been bad. It’s been lonely. It’s been fun as hell. Every single day, I gather a different opinion on the subject. Sometimes there is nothing I love more than going out with my other single girlfriends on a Saturday night and talking to different guys. No strings. No one to answer to. No games. No jealousy. No worries! I am I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

And then there are the nights when I’m not so happy. My bed seems bigger than usual, and for some reason all I want to do is cuddle.  I want someone to go to the farmer’s market with me on Saturday mornings. I want someone to call when I find out I got promoted/demoted/too much foam in my latte/whatever. Someone who will always pick up the phone and deal with my bull. And for almost two years, I haven’t had that person.

Many women make their whole lives about men. Finding a good man, getting a man’s validation or approval, marrying a man and having babies with that man. I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve never had that idea in my head or that a man has never defined my self worth—they have. I’m not doing this 30-Day Challenge because I think that a man or a boyfriend is the key to my happiness or any woman’s happiness for that matter, but sometimes it’s nice to have a companion. It’s nice to be taken out for a date. What’s better than the beginning of a new relationship? You’re up in the clouds. Love drunk, as I like to call it.

So I have decided that I want to be love drunk once again! Since I only have 30 days to make this happen, I thought I would dive head first into the dating pool, and we all know what that means—online dating. Now before you yell at me, hear me out! I know I’m only 23 years old and probably should wait a little bit before I do online dating, I decided to change my beliefs for the sake of this experiment.

Online dating is weird. I am not even going to lie and tell you guys that I think it’s a totally normal thing. But I joined OKCupid yesterday. I made my profile, which was so easy. I was shocked at how simple and easy it was. You make an “About Me” page just like you would on Facebook and then answer a bunch of questions. OKCupid uses these questions to help find you matches. The more questions you answer, the more accurate your matches will be. The profile/homepage looks something like this:

Now like I said, I started OK Cupid yesterday and have already received many messages from men saying they are “interested in getting to know me”. Well that’s nice, I thought to myself. When was the last time I met a guy in person who said he just wanted to get to know me? The thing that I’m still kind of iffy about when it comes to online dating is that most of it has to just be based off the pictures we post. I posted about 5 pictures (obviously flattering ones) and I can’t help but wonder if the men messaging me even read my profile. These messages that I received were nice, but kind of creepy. There were a couple times yesterday where I wanted to just give up this whole challenge because the creep-level was just getting to be too much. Here is a perfect example of the creepiness that I am talking about:

“I’m just looking at something that I would bite, I meant that I like.”

WHAT? No thank you. You may not bite me. You may not like me. In fact, stop looking at me! Then there was this guy who just pretty much told me exactly what he wanted:

This was the point where I kind of just started laughing to myself and asked myself what the hell I was doing. I was only getting messages from guys like The Biter and The Friends With Benefits Man (Don’t we need to be FRIENDS first?), so I decided to take matters into my own hands. It was time to send out some messages myself.

With the help of my best friend, I concocted some pretty decent messages that I sent to guys who looked normal in their pictures (no mirror shots, etc.) and their profiles seemed interesting (They listed at least one book they enjoyed reading). I have not heard back from said men, which makes me feel super good. Is there anything worse than Internet rejection? I don’t think there is. Granted I think I need to give myself a little slack because it has only been a day since I sent these messages. I just want somebody to love! Is that so much to ask?!

I’m happy that you guys are along from the ride with me on this one. Online dating is definitely new territory for me, and while I do not expect to find the love of my life or even a serious boyfriend out of this, maybe I will just get to go on a few dates. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. I’m really planning on going on dates if I find some normal guys who don’t want to murder me with an axe. And in that case, I cannot wait to come back to CC and tell you all about them because, knowing my life, there will something worthy to write about! Until next week…

How do you feel about online dating? Do you have any tips to share? Wish me luck!!

[Lead image via karen roach/Shutterstock]



  1. Truth says:

    ** insert "forever alone" face here **

  2. Seb says:

    I met my current boyfriend through a site mentioned in a College Candy article (plentyoffish/pof) and he is absolutely amazing. You might need more than a month though-far too many creeps out there…good luck!

  3. atpcliff says:

    Online dating is brilliant! If you live in NYC, it's not such a big deal, but if you live in a lot of places the dating/marriage pool is pretty small. The more different you are, and/or your interests are, the smaller the pool. But, ANYONE can go online, and meet hundreds of people that are a potential fit with you, because geography is not an issue.

    I think online dating will lower the divorce rate, and I think that is already happening. It is great for getting people together who would not ordinarily date.

    Advice: If you are serious, definitely use, and several different dating websites, as there are so many out there.

    Good luck, and Namaste!

  4. Sam Carr says:

    This is great. Honestly, I've met a variety of weird/nice/crazy/awesome guys through online dating. My current boyfriend of 9 months I met through What I usually say to all the skeptics is:

    never be too picky, sometimes men don't take very flattering photos and are very handsome in real life

    always tell a friend when you go out on a date with someone you met online, obviously in a public place with lots of people

    if you're feeling confident, schedule as many dates in a week as you want, but never kiss/jump into bed with any of them, just feel the waters and get to know more people

    if you didn't enjoy the date, let them know and leave it at that

    delete the creepers/stalkers, period.

    first email through the dating site, THEN add them on facebook (give yourself a chance to know them), call them on the phone for legitimacy and FINALLY go on a date with them. Neither rush it nor postpone it. I'd give it about a week or so from initial contact to actual date.

    Online dating allows you to meet people you normally may not due to geography, time or basic chemistry. It's a forum where people of similar interests can meet each other and I believe it to be the best way to meet men without having the buffer of a bar or club. Go on dates to fun places: zoos, parks, antiquing or music festivals (summertime!) and enjoy yourself. Dating should be fun, not work.
    <3 Sam

  5. katie says:

    I found my current boyfriend of 9 months on Okcupid! There are creeps but if you look hard enough there are amazing guys out there on those sites! Best of luck!

  6. Millie says:

    I joined OKCupid three months ago, met a guy on there a week later, and we've been dating ever since! I wish I had tried it ages ago, honestly. You won't regret doing it…when you get creeped out by guys on there, just remember that there are some genuinely good guys on that site who are looking for the exact same thing you are. I joined because a lot of my friends have had success through it, and I'm so glad they talked me into giving it a shot.

  7. Noluck says:

    Okcupid has a lot of creepers maybe try another website.

  8. djnemec says:

    Honestly, I wouldn't give yourself "30 days to find a new boyfriend", that's kind of silly. Still, enjoy OKC! There are a whole ton of creepers out there, and you'll get tons and tons of messages (the curse of being female on a dating site, it seems), but there are gems out there!

  9. worldssmartestmanat says:

    Good try to block out you're user name but its also on the top right of the screen. Welcome XXXXXX

  10. worldssmartestmanat says:

    oh and you're very cute

  11. Lena says:

    This article makes me feel a bit better. I was super hesitant to make a profile on okcupid, so i made a blank one first to see what's out there and I saw this guy who seemed too good to be true. So my friend convinced me to fill out my profile and message him, so I did. No reply. Made me feel like an idiot for even considering doing it in the first place.

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