Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends? [He Said/She Said]
I’ve had my share of really good guy friends. You know what I’m talking about. The ones who sleep in your bed, who know your favorite beer and bring a six-pack over just because. The ones who text you when some random, funny thing happens and call you to rant when they’ve had a bad day. The two of you probably share the same taste in movies and music and the same sense of humor. You advise him on his haircuts, he helps you assemble your Ikea furniture (or, in my case, reach whatever’s on the top shelf).
But at the end of the day, you flirt with other guys at the bar, he dates some girl he met on the subway, and it all works out. You’re just friends. You don’t care where he’s sticking his P, and he has no rights to your V. Friends. Awesome, wonderful, totally-not-having-dirty-thoughts-when-he-looks-at-you-that-way friends. Isn’t it great?
You can tell yourself it’s platonic. That neither of you has feelings for the other. And at first it might be true; it can definitely work…for a while. But all that time spent sharing beds and jokes and take-out boxes of vegetable fried rice are bound to amount to something. Feelings.
Drunk feelings are the first sign that your happy friendship is sinking. One night after you’ve both taken 73 shots to the face and sang your hearts out to the timeless Jagged Edge hit, “Let’s Get Married,” one of you will most certainly toss out the idea of getting hitched for realsies. This will be followed by the phrase, “Can I tell you something? No, I’m being serious. Stop laughing. You’re still laughing. We need to talk.” Then, before you know it, you’re in the back of a cab and someone is pouring their heart out, claiming they loved you all along and their face is inching closer to yours and, to quote Xtina, your body’s saying “Let’s go!” but your heart is saying “No!” So what happens? You get to second base in a yellow Ford Taurus speeding down 2nd Ave. While the fallout may prove to be irreparable, at least the experience makes for a good story should you one day write a post like this one.
The next scenario you’re likely to encounter with your “just friend” is the jealous significant other. Those are some angry feelings bubbling, let me tell you. How exactly do you explain to your boyfriend or girlfriend that you have another boy friend or girl friend (note the spaces)…except when you share a bed with them, it’s just for a snuggle sesh? No one wants to know that the person they’re exclusively dating is kinda-sorta emotionally cheating. Fights will ensue, hearts will break, perfectly good things will go very bad. Bottom line: You can’t have your cake and be BFFs with another cake, too.
Now, brace yourselves for this one. The last potential outcome is probably the worst one here: You’re the one with the feelings, but you don’t say anything. Pleading the 5th, playing the bud and watching him go through girlfriends and hookups is probably the worst experience ever. If you’re like me — a girl in possession of a big mouth and sub-par communication skills — just run in the opposite direction. You’ll blurt out some partially-formed sentiment at the exact wrong moment and live to eat your words. Trust me. Been there, not fun. Lots of stuttering and backpedaling involved. I get that emotions are scary, and you have this mental image of confessing your love only to be met with a long silence, followed by him saying, “So don’t take this the wrong way, but I just don’t think of you as more than a friend…” To tell you the truth, that’s probably how it will play out. #ForeverAlone
In summation, men and women cannot be friends. Not for very long, at least. Someone’s eventually gonna wanna tap that. End of argument.
Agree? Disagree? Have a totally platonic guy friend? How’s that working out for you?
And don’t forget to see what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com! (For the record, we’re totally not friends.)
[Lead image via Yuri Arcurs/Shutterstock]