Finding a Boyfriend Through Online Dating, Week 4 [One Month Challenge]
Well boys and girls, we’ve come to the fourth and final installment of “What the hell did I get myself into?”: Online Dating Edition. It’s been a whirlwind of a month, and I am sad to say (spoiler alert) that I did not find a boyfriend. Cue the tears, cue Adele, and cue me shoveling Ben and Jerry’s down my throat. I’m okay though really. No tears for this girl. I might sound a little cocky when I say this, but the reason I didn’t find a boyfriend wasn’t because I couldn’t get a guy to look in my general direction. I got several messages from men throughout the day, everyday for four weeks. I had many guys interested in “me”, and I put “me” in quotation marks because I’m not sure how many of the guys really wanted to get to know me or just have sex with me (and I guess I’ll never know!). The reason why I didn’t come out of this challenge with the desired end result is because I realized that I don’t want a boyfriend.
I repeat: I do not want a boyfriend.
I am not saying that I don’t have those moments when all I want to do is cuddle up with someone cute and have him play with my hair while I drift off to sleep. I have a deep desire to eventually find “The One” and have a marriage and a family. I will never let go of that dream. I will always have that dream. I think what I am saying is that I do not have a desire to pursue that dream right now.
I came across several men that were sweet and sexy, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I was really into Mitch for a few weeks, but I soon realized that there was no chemistry there (I know, that sounds like a cop out, but it’s true!), and he also looked way too much like my ex-boyfriend. I thought I could get over it, but I cannot. After our second date, he leaned in for a kiss. I accepted. When I opened my eyes, I saw my ex. I did not see Mitch. My sight was blurry. Once I re-focused, I knew it wasn’t going to work. Not only because Mitch was a clone of my ex but because I wasn’t putting my whole heart into it. I wasn’t fully there. I did not want a boyfriend.
Though I didn’t get my “happy ending”, being a member of OK Cupid did open my eyes to a lot of things that I had never really thought of before. One huge revelation was that there are so many men out there. And yes, there are going to be some creepers and guys you’re not attracted to, but let me tell you, there are a lot of guys on OK Cupid (and other dating sites, I’m sure!) that have attractive, sweet, educated men that are looking for the same thing that women are. You might wonder, “Why is he trying online dating? What is wrong with him?” The answer is nothing! You’re completely normal (minus the standard level of crazy that each and every girl possesses, let’s be real) and you’re searching through dating profiles on OK Cupid too! Therefore nothing wrong with him. There is nothing wrong with you.
Some people just need a little help.
I hope you guys enjoyed my small stint in the online dating world and learned a thing or two in the process. I definitely wouldn’t steer people away from online dating after doing this one-month challenge because my mind has truly been changed about the whole process and stupid stigma that comes with dating on the internet. It’s not as scary as you think. It’s not pathetic. It’s not desperate. It’s just another way to meet a person that you might build a relationship with and maybe fall in love. Now what doesn’t sound good about that?