How to Find The Love of Your Life

Okay, okay, I know the title’s sappy as all get out, and I admit we can fall in love with more than one person, but nonetheless I have found an increasingly common denominator:

People tend to end up in the best relationship of their lives after getting out of…the worst relationship of their lives.

Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? I know I’m not the only one who’s seen it. Why does this happen? It doesn’t make sense, right? Or does it…? Yes, it actually makes perfect sense, and I’m going to postulate why.

When you’re in the muck of a break-up–and I mean the WORST kind of break-up, the one that leaves you unable to function properly for weeks–you can come out of it a little changed. When you’re ready to open up again, you’re more willing to try someone different than the ex who caused all the heartache. And what do you know? When you’re open to new possibilities, they might just arise. It’s not The Secret. It’s nothing active or planned. It’s about being willing to try again on something new. Because let’s face it, what you had didn’t work out so great, so finding your ex’s doppelganger is gigantic mistake.

Once you forgive the past, learn from what happened and understand who you are from the part you played in it, you can open up new paths to walk down. Sounds a little preachy, but it might be valid. How many couples do you know whose love was born out of the ashes of terrible prior relationships? It’s not a coincidence.

I’m not saying this is the only way you’ll fall in love with someone, but it’s something worth storing in the back of your brain. When you stop searching, you find something. When you give up what you held as fact, you learn something new. It’s a matter of being brave enough NOT to repeat your mistakes.

Sneaking up behind you with Cupid’s arrow,

The Dude

[lead image via karelnoppe / Shutterstock]



  1. april says:

    I found the love of my life just after deciding to not seek out relationships in favour of improving my life and education. I had just gotten rid of a messed up, immature boy (not a man in any sense after his behaviour) and decided that relationships were too much hard work when I met my now fiance. Sometimes you find what you really need when you stop looking for what you think you want.

  2. Daisy says:

    This is so true! I met the love of my life a few months after getting out of a terrible relationship. My soon-to-be husband was the opposite of my ex- caring, loving, not an alcoholic… I met him when I was casually dating different people. I actually cancelled a date with someone else the night I met him! The rest is history.

  3. Pedrosa smith says:

    If we have doing a true Love even we can find easily Love .

  4. Serinain says:

    what you had didn’t work out so great, so finding your ex’s doppelganger is gigantic mistake.

  5. Charmaine says:

    I smiled after reading this article. Right on.

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