Thinking Like a Man…I Think [Diary of the Undateable]

By Khalea

I didn’t get to see Think Like a Man while it was playing, but I’ve still been using the movie’s title as my personal mantra. I take everything to heart. Every. Little. Thing. This summer, I’ve been trying my best not to do that. So when I decided to text Tonio again, I was thinking like a man. And not like Khalea. Actually, I wasn’t really thinking at all. Let’s back up, shall we?

For those who didn’t see my last few posts, Tonio’s a guy I met online. We hit it off. Sparks flew. We were like the “Bonnie and Clyde ‘03” Beyoncé and Jay-Z. We had a great date…’til he drove me to his house without warning and wanted to get high. So romantic, right?

I thought it’d be the end of Tonio after that date from Bob Marley-tinged hell (and his booty text message). He was determined, though. Once in a while, he’d text me – usually late at night – to see what I was doing and if I wanted to“hang out.” Boy, stop. The only thing open that late are legs – and not mine!

I was slowly letting him go until I had an André champagne-induced epiphany.  Tonio won’t be my husband. He won’t be my boyfriend. He CAN, however, be a friend. And what’s wrong with that? We can hang out, watch movies, trade stories about life and have a grand ‘ol time. It worked for Carrie and Big for a little while! And besides, he was making an effort. There’s something about me that he liked…otherwise, he would’ve deleted my number. Never mind the fact that he doesn’t really call or text anyway…but still.

I had to go back to D.C. for a couple of last minute errands. The day before I left, I sent him an iMessage and asked him to hang out. He says yes and told me he’ll confirm for sure tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow comes and I never hear from him. He’s definitely playing games, I thought. But since it was me who invited him to kick it, I decided to be the bigger person and follow up.

He was definitely coming, he told me.  He also told me to buy a bottle so he can bring mixers to make cocktails. Though I was put off by the fact that the liquor had to come out of my pocket, I was still excited. I rushed home, cleaned up my place and got dressed, waiting for his arrival. Funny…even though I was trying to make a friend, it still felt like a date date.

A date that almost didn’t happen. Our wires got crossed and he got caught up at the bar with his friends and ended up calling me a lot later than we had planned – two in the morning. I was knocked out and didn’t hear the phone ring. When I woke up, I apologized and invited him over that morning. He promptly replied and said he’d stop by before work…completely out of his way. I thought that was so cute – sacrificing his time to see me for a mere half hour. Do friends do that?

I wish our date had been as chill as this time. He gave me a warm hug (around my waist, not my shoulders), cracked jokes, really tried to make me smile, made lots of eye contact and called me pretty. It was really flattering…he was so sweet. He didn’t try to do anything. Maybe my friend could turn out to be something more?

We left things off on a positive note. He gave me another hug and said he’d visit me in New York. He texted me to make sure I got to the city okay later on that night.

…and now he won’t call or text me at all.

I’m confused. One minute I’m a booty call. The next minute, we don’t talk at all. Another minute, we’re flirting like crazy. And now he’s acting like he wants nothing to do with me. I’m trying to put myself in his shoes – a man’s shoes – to understand his logic. I got nothing so far, ladies.

Even though I’m trying to think like a man, I’m still hurting like a lady, a girl who had her budding feelings crushed. I’m definitely leaving this guy alone…for good.

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

[Lead image via Vadym Drobot /Shutterstock]