Men Are Simple: The Diagram [Friday Faves]

Let’s be real, dating can be an absolute nightmare. And how many times have we sent a “this just isn’t going anywhere” text, wishing that we hadn’t just wasted two months of our precious time on this guy? Time we could have spent hanging out with the girls, reading Texts From Last Night, or shaving our bikini lines.

One too many.

And that is why we’re going to help you girls out. Men are very simple creatures, so simple in fact, that they can be neatly organized into a Venn diagram with pretty colors like the ones we used to color in elementary school.

This little ditty sums up the male gender in very simple terms, making it effortless for us girls to identify what sort of person our new prospect actually is, without the wasted month of dating to find out.

And it’s 100% accurate.

If your guy is hot (mmmm!) and he’s nice, he’s dumb. The end.
If he’s nice and knows all the answers in history class? He’s a nerd.
And if he’s answering all those questions while tossing back that gorgeous hair and flexing his muscles, he’s an ass.

Of course there are varying degrees of the above types. Your gorgeous, nice boy may be able to form coherent sentences, but after three weeks of him dying all his whites pink (“Why can’t I just throw in my red boxers?”), the diagram has proved correct.

It might seem too easy. It may seem too shallow. But it also seems eerily true. Thinking back on every guy I’ve ever dated, I can’t seem to find any exceptions to the rules.

Basically, the perfect guy is gay.
End of Story.

What do you guys think? Do these rules ring true in your own dating-and-dumping cycle? Or have you found the exception to the rule? (Yes, this is totally a He’s Just Not That Into You reference)

[lead image of guy via Aaron Amat/Shutterstock]



  1. Ariana Romero says:

    The perfect example of the perfect man: the very committed gay Matt Bomer. Too true :(

  2. Mimi says:

    when you expect guys to act like this theyll meet their expectations. chances are you just dated around without knowing or liking any of them enough in a meaningful way. dont be a bitch

  3. […] • This diagram of men is not only hilarious, but pretty much accurate (CollegeCandy) […]

  4. krystynathebookmaven says:

    I don't see what's wrong with being a nerd.

  5. […] • This diagram of men is not only hilarious, but pretty much accurate (CollegeCandy) […]

  6. glittergirl says:

    There's handsome nerds out there. Geeky can be cute!

  7. Shortcut says:

    What a perfect way to stereotype all men.

  8. Miriam says:

    Well, this is a tad bit oversimplified, don't you think?

  9. Concerned8888 says:

    I've met some women, grown women who tell me that they don't have time to read a newspaper, but… Ihave those damn headphones stuck in their ears 2 to 3 hrs a day. Or how about the ones claiming that they are Queens, Queens of what? I'm not hating though, but they seemed to want what they can't and will never have…a decent, respectful relationship. Why? Because they choose to try to live the life thru the eyes of what some magazine, some website, some guru who DEMANDS $$ money to hear his or her seminar on how to 'FIND' the better you. What? Are you that lost? Some women really need to listen other than hear what the average man is saying to them on the street, or clubs or even bars that they tend to hang out in.

    I've notice this. Women want it all, all at once and then move on. Move on saying that he wasn't sh*t, cause he would do me that. What ever happen to just being happy BEING ALIVE?

  10. Steve says:

    I am a straight man, but I am smart, nice and handsome as well. Sounds like the women that agree with this diagram suck at choosing men to date.

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