Tuffy Luv Sez: Blue Balls Are Real?!

July 17, 2012 3:00 pm     Posted in Advice, Homepage Exclusive, Sex  Tuffy Luv g+ page


By Tuffy Luv

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Sometimes when I don’t want to have sex my boyfriend says we have to because he gets blue balls. I always go along with it but what is it exactly and how can I keep him from getting it in the first place?

Blue Girl

Dear Blue Girl,

Well, today, Aunt Tuffy learned something new!

I was about to be all, BLUE BALLS IS A MYTH AND HE CAN GO FLOOP HIMSELF IN THE EAR, but then I looked it up, and, what do you know, blue balls is real. Okay, but, like, not the way guys generally present it. Apparently, men can get that uncomfortable sensation they’re claiming to get if they get too aroused and don’t get to release.

HOWEVER. First of all, not all that many men experience it, and so it’s awfully convenient that every man ever claims to get it when he just so happens to want to get in your pants.

If you don’t want to have sex, DO NOT HAVE IT. Period. Apparently, yes, he might feel pain (MIGHT. Big emphasis on MIGHT), but all he has to do is (1) take a cold shower, (2) wait it out (apparently it’s gone in an hour or two pretty much in all cases), or (3) do it his own damn self. I mean, honestly — he DOES know how to get himself off. FOR REALZ.

So next time he tries to force–er, excuse me, next time he gently suggests you must have sex with him when you don’t want to just because he has blue balls, please suggest to him one or all of those three options.

Or dump him for being a giant douchebag who tricks his girlfriend into having sex when she doesn’t want to. But maybe that’s just me.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Question?! Ask Tuffy Luv at tuffyluvcc [at] gmail [dot] com

[Lead image via lsantilli/Shutterstock]

3 Comments on "Tuffy Luv Sez: Blue Balls Are Real?!"

  1. Deboh says:
    Tue, 17th Jul 20124:37 pm 

    So as a male reader i feel i should respond. Whilst I do agree that using blue balls as an excuse to get some is horrible once blue balls has set in they can be rough. The reason we like our lady friends to take care of us is because trying to jerk your self off with blue balls is extremely painful. Every stroke we hit our sore balls it sucks.

  2. Rohit says:
    Tue, 17th Jul 201211:12 pm 

    Cmon..a simple handy isn't too bad.

  3. YouDidNoResearch says:
    Sun, 12th Aug 20125:18 am 

    To respond to such an ignorant blog post should be beneath me. However the male^ above me didnt give the right or all the facts.

    When a guy is aroused for an extended period and is NOT released with an ejaculation inflammation occurs within the testes from backed up fluids used to engorge the penis and balls. The resulting pain is about the same to me as a swift foot into the groin. Or at least the THROBBING ACHE that occurs after said trauma.

    It's not like you have to have sex to fix this problem, a release in this pressure is caused by male orgasm. You can do Non-coitus actions to perform this task. If that repulses you then don't bother with even initiating foreplay…its cruel to give anyone pain like that even if so for only a few hours.

    This "aunt tuffy" seems to have very little experience with males. Because what guy is going to say,
    "OH YES I WOULD LOVE TO MASTURBATE LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS 14, ESPECIALLY RIGHT AFTER BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF FOOLING AROUND WITH YOU. IN FACT DONT TOUCH MY DICK AT ALL ILL DO ALL THE WORK."

    Your mother should have swallowed you instead of loving your father enough to do the full deed instead.

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