Ask A Dude: Do Guys Like Bigger Girls? [Friday Faves]

July 20, 2012 12:00 pm     Posted in Body, Homepage Exclusive, Relationships  Candy -- NYU g+ page


By Candy

Dear Dude,

I want a boyfriend. I have been single for the last four years, and although there have been opportunities for love to kindle, things just never seem to work out. I think a part of it is my fault. I am very conscious about my weight (I am full-figured). I think I am a very intelligent, funny and generous person, and I have a great circle of friends. But I don’t know how to show a guy that I have all these qualities because, frankly, most guys seem more interested in the way women look. Dude, how can I make a guy see past my weight to the person that I am inside, when looks play such a huge role in a guy’s opinion of a girl?

Sincerely,
Single and Not Loving It

P.S. I want to add that I am not ugly, just a little overweight.

Dear Single and Not Loving It,

First things first…thank you.  Thank you for bringing this up.  This is such an important issue that isn’t discussed enough!  I have ranted and raved about this for a decade now and I hope that someone will start to listen.  So here we go!

Real men want real women!  That’s the bottom line.  Since when did “so thin I may shatter every bone in my body if I fall and I look like a cancer patient” become sexy?  Has anyone else noticed how closely these women resemble pre-pubescent teenage girls?  I have!  And what does that say about the people who think that’s attractive?

And on top of looking totally ridiculous with your hips and ribs showing through your clothes, being that hungry all the time turns a nice girl into a complete bitch!  I know when I skip a meal I get pretty irritated; I would likely go postal if I tried to survive on 500 to 1000 calories a day. And that may be high for some of these chicks!

Let me give you some examples and/ or inspirations:

Christina Hendricks = SEXY
Diane Kruger = Gross
Beyonce = WOWZZA
Kate Bosworth = Gross
Sara Ramirez = SCHWING
Olsen Twins = Gross
J-Lo = GIGGITY GIGGITY
Zoe Saldana = Gross

Get the picture?

These women could all stand to have a cheesburger and cut a few workouts from the routine.  And if a guy tells you he is truly attracted to women who look like this, then consider keeping any young teenage girls you know far away from him.  Think about this logically for a second.  Women are designed to carry a certain percentage of body fat.  A womans body is designed for reproduction.  A body with very little fat (or one who is skinny fat, ie. no fat or muscle to speak of) goes against Nature’s intentions for that body. Why do you think people who look like that have to resort to multiple daily workouts and eating disorders to look that way?

So to step down from my soapbox and get to my point, try to be more like the four girls above who got very positive feedback.  Stay healthy, but don’t overdo it. And take pride in your curvy body and yourself. What you don’t realize is that right now guys are focusing on your weight because that’s what you’re focusing on. If you stop thinking about your size and think only about how funny and smart and beautiful you are, guys will see all of those things too. There is nothing sexier to a man than a girl with confidence – regardless of her size – so get out there and show guys all your wonderful qualities.

– The Dude (who takes meat on the bones over skin and bones any day of the week!)

[Got a question for Mr. Dude? (And, no, that doesn’t include asking him out; boyfriend is taken!) Ask it: askthedude@collegecandy.com. He won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

[lead image via themoviezombie.blogspot.com]

18 Comments on "Ask A Dude: Do Guys Like Bigger Girls? [Friday Faves]"

  1. Askabff says:
    Fri, 20th Jul 201212:30 pm 

    Great post! The most important thing, is to love yourself. Once you excude confidence you will attract better quality men.

  2. kvekisses3 says:
    Fri, 20th Jul 20121:10 pm 

    OH MY!!! A guy who gets it!!! Dude, you are so right when it comes to loving yourself first and remember how much you can offer because it sounds like to me you ARE the whole package, you even said yourself you arent ugly! Just worried about a few extra pounds because of society and their standards for beautiful, and I assure you that the standards are unrealistic for the most part and are pretty ugly! I agree with DUDE. Maralyn Monroe was a size 10/12 and considered a sex goddess, same for betty page and most pin up models. Not sure what happened and when women who look like teenage boys became sexy! I am a mom of 3 girls and worry about them and how they feel about themselves constantly because of magazines, tv,advertising, etc. They are the most beautiful girls inside as well as outside….I would hate for anyone to ever tell them they arent pretty because they have hips and breast(like we are supposed to)Let them see what mamma bear has to say about that!! But Honestly, I am sure you are beautiful in everyway…Self confidence is attractive to men, hige turn on. We all know that if you dont love yourself, you cant love others. Good Luck Sweetie. And you are awesome Dude!! LOVE the Shallow Hal Pic. Great movie for this topic

  3. Desteni says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 201212:43 am 

    To: The Dude (not "Single and Not Loving It")
    I agree that every body size / shape / color can be beautiful, calling some of the ladies mentioned above ugly or gross is just as appalling as calling their opposite body sizes gross or appalling. People never think twice about saying to a girl, "Oh my GOD you're SOOO skinny!" but wouldn't consider telling someone "Oh my GOD you're SOOOOO fat!" I've been thin/skinny/tiny etc. my whole life, and not by choice. I don't count calories or refuse "fatty" foods, nor do I live at a gym or consider myself extremely athletic by any means. After hearing these things my whole life (and I mean from 5 years old to present age of 22), they're hurtful to me because they hit like something is wrong with MY body. So as someone on the side of the spectrum that you're labeling gross and disgusting, I'm offended. Body sizes – big or small – can both be healthy and can both be beautiful. Choose your words more carefully. You can praise someone else without consequently putting down others, Dude, and I assumed you would have known that.

  4. someone says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20126:41 am 

    do some guys think that Zoe Saldana is gross?! I always thought she was super pretty, never really noticed her weight.

  5. Kirsten says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 201210:24 am 

    Thank you! I hate that skinny girls get knocked for the way we look and it is considered "acceptable". I used to be a dancer, and worked out everyday. I would eat like a horse, and still be skinny minnie. People were down right mean to me about my weight. It is like being skinny warrants being picked on, but being overweight can be liberating. Why can't we just love all shapes and sizes?

  6. Amy says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20127:11 pm 

    Hey Dude, I know that not every guy digs every woman's body type, but you don't have to classify women like you did. It's insulting and demeaning. I'm all for body image liberation, but just because society as a whole thinks that skinny women have it better doesn't mean that it's alright to hate on them just to build full-figured women up.

  7. Georgiana says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 20129:55 pm 

    Just to clear this up, a size 10/12 back when Marilyn Monroe was buying dresses was a /lot/ smaller than it is now. Vanity sizing, it's over the roof. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd be wearing a 2 or 4 in some of today's ridiculously inflated sizes.

  8. Cissy says:
    Mon, 23rd Jul 201210:59 pm 

    women can be naturally as thin as, say, zoe saldana. and the thin women you mentioned are just as beautiful as the curvy ones. that was just as mean as saying fat is gross.

  9. Nah Cho says:
    Tue, 24th Jul 20121:52 am 

    Normally, I love your articles Dude. But I hate this mentality. Some women are just naturally lanky and skinny, like some men are. (And I'd like to point out that men's body's were made for reproduction, too). By stating that women who aren't this certain shape is 'gross' is just as bad as saying fat women are ugly. It's just not right.

    Some people find this and that attractive, while others may not (For your sake, ladies, just be healthy. Do you really want to waste time on a guy who wouldn't love you if you were fat, or skinny?). I don't think one can control what he or she finds sexy. Although, I do kind of agree with your 'keep the teens' away sentiment.

  10. Mia says:
    Sat, 28th Jul 20125:10 pm 

    look, guys, he was directing this at girls who are fuller figured. it wasn't a girl who asked "why don't guys like me when I'm a size 00?" It sucks that in today's day and age, women who are thinner are instantaneously considered more attractive. Besides, he's entitled to his opinion. He is one of those guys who likes women who have fuller-figured bodies. if you want to complain about thin girl problems, then write him a letter about why guys don't like thin girls, but in all honesty, I don't really think that's as big of a problem. Great post, Dude. :)

  11. Sarah says:
    Tue, 18th Sep 20122:09 am 

    Horrible post. You are a disgusting human being. Why make fun of people for their natural size? The celebrities you think are 'gross' are beautiful women, who are FAR from underweight. They are perfect weight for their bones. The ones you think are hot are also beautiful, and although bigger, are also a perfect size. I can't believe you call women with small chests disgusting. That is how they were made, and how they should look. It is no more disgusting that women with huge sloppy breasts. We are all trying to look our best, and hopefully at the best size FOR US. Most women are not born 'curvy' and thick, the way you would like them to be. We are flat and big, flat and thin, no curves and big, apple shaped and thin, big bellied and thin, super curvy and overweight. Health and being a good person matters more.

    Nobody should ever be told to 'have a cheeseburger'. How about you lose some weight and stop eating cheeseburgers all day you fat slob. What a waste you are, no wonder no guys don't you, bitter whining b. See how it feels to be judged in a ridiculous manner? (Ok maybe the bitter whining part is actually true, you come across as the kind of judgemental person that nobody wants to hang around with in the way you wrote this.)

  12. Djohns says:
    Sat, 29th Sep 20123:11 am 

    Mary-Kate went through anorexia in her late teens, but she seems to be healthy now. Mary-Kate & Ashley are perfect the way they are & FAR from gross.

  13. monster says:
    Mon, 8th Oct 20126:53 pm 

    different tastes for different folks.

    i got a buddy that digs pretty big girls. i got a couple buddies that dig like stick thin girls. those arent my things.

    most guys like thin but healthy girls. a lot of guys think that a slightly larger body shape on a woman is fat.

    i personally dont like really big ones or really thin ones. my criteria would be if i can wrap one hand around her upper arm shes unhealthy and if she has like dimples all over her legs and a gut standing up shes too big. its the shape not the size as far as im concerned. a girl who some guys may think is fat but has a roll free stomach is not fat.

    but for you, if you just be healthy for your body type and be cool with it then you will probably find someone thats into you physically. your biggest obstacle isnt what "society" tells guys. its your insecurity with yourself. as long as you arent yourself unhealthy be cool.

  14. renae says:
    Fri, 30th Nov 20125:39 pm 

    im small and thin and i hate it, im desperate to add weight and nothing works. it bugs me to see that girls hate being big, they should be lucky they got curves, i wouldnt mind being cuddly at all. im a strong b cup but im not exactly curvy, i dont even think i have hips let alone an ass. i suppose its proportionate considering the fact that im 5ft4 but i dont know. i just wish i was bigger.

  15. Roger says:
    Thu, 20th Dec 20122:34 am 

    The Olsen twins are beautiful & sexy.

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