Girls Who Hate “Guy’s Girls”

July 21, 2012 12:00 pm     Posted in College, Entertainment, gurl, Homepage Exclusive, Relationships  Gaby g+ page


By Gaby

Apparently I do, Rihanna, and so do a lot of other women.

Every time I hear a girl say something along the lines of “ I just get along better with guys” or “girls are just too much drama,” I suppress an exorcist-level eye roll. I’ve always had a problem with self-proclaimed “guy’s girls.”

After chuckling my way through a recent Betches Love This article entitled “Hating the WGG” (Wannabe Guys’ Girl) and recalling pretty petty conversations with my friends on the topic, I need to figure out what my “prollem,” our problem, with these women actually is. I know, I must own up to the fact that whenever I dislike a woman I barely know, it usually has little to do with her and everything to do with myself. With this list, I attempt tobreak down this unexplored phenomenon.

1. We don’t get it

Full disclosure, I attended an all-girls school for nine years, only lived with my mother during this time, and my older sister is my only sibling. Shockingly, as a rising junior in college, I don’t have a hoard of guy friends. I really value my female friendships, so I don’t fully understand how a girl could get by without a solid group of amigas. I’m not saying I depend on cheesy, sentimental sisterhoods of the traveling pants variety. If I ever propositioned my pals that we pass around the same pair of gross mom jeans this summer as a quirky way to stay connected, they would mock me mercilessly (that’s real sisterhood). It’s just easier to relate to people who automatically occupy a similar identity, reality even. Having a dependable crew of individuals that also know what it’s like to have a vagina comforts me almost as much as old congressmen discussing my reproductive health issues disturbs me.

We live in a world where dynamics between female characters in Sex and City, Mean Girls, and Bridesmaids resonate with many women. Whether it’s a core four, evil clique, or motley crew, a pack of girlfriends often constitutes a large part of a woman’s identity. It may be difficult for some women, like myself, to wrap their heads around the idea that that these storylines don’t replicate themselves in every woman’s experience.

2. We feel threatened

Guy’s girls garner a lot of male attention. Duh. Many of us enjoy attention from the opposite sex. Again, duh. Consequently, even if men place a woman on a purely platonic pedestal, it can incite jealousy from her like-gendered peers. People tend to treat attention achievement as a zero-sum game; this becomes even more painfully obvious when women compete with one another.

Think back to the last time you and your friends gossiped about a girl for having too few female friends while hanging out with guys a little too much (that jezebel!). Did that conversation also involve a guy one of you was interested in or even dating? Let me save you some time. Yes, yes it did. Now let’s say this girl was actually dating one of those guys she hung out with (neither your boyfriend nor your crush). Do you think you would have still had a problem with her?

Some women view other single women as sex time bombs ticking amidst their few good men. So while I’m sure you think your boyfriend is great for you, I’m also sure many other women don’t think he is great for them. And although the porn industry would have us believe otherwise, the average girl finding herself in exclusively male company isn’t going to think “YAY! GANG BANG TIME!”

3. We want to be them

Some women don’t view guys as simply another sex but as an entirely separate species. There are countless books, blogs, and magazines dedicated to understanding men, because an unhealthily huge demand for such knowledge exists.

Some of us resent “guys’ girls,” because they seem to possess secrets Cosmo has convinced us to obtain we would need to hold a dusty talisman up to the sun and steal the Declaration of Independence. Like Nic Cage’s career, the search for these “secrets” can be bewildering, never-ending, and disappointing because ultimately they don’t exist. The journey will only deliver much shit-losing.

4. We think they don’t like us  

My main problems with self-proclaimed “guy’s girls” are statements such as “Girls are too dramatic, sensitive, complicated, or gossipy. So I don’t hang out with them.”

Although these women seem progressive in that they bridge the gender friendship gap and often don’t adhere to their own gender norms, a few actually appear regressive in their assertions and assumptions about most other women. In making blanket statements and avoiding interactions with their own gender, some “guys’ girls” appear to perpetuate the beliefs that women are overemotional and underhanded. Yes, there are definitely recognizable differences between genders, but they’re not hierarchical.

Also, are girls really more dramatic than guys? Has anyone else ever seen a professional soccer foul? Women who blindly bash other women legitimize many misogynistic myths. I find this type of rhetoric harmful in the way “slut” is harmful when said by women especially. I’ve hated on “guys’ girls” because I believe they hate on girls. And that’s just not what I’m about… Apparently, I’ve also believed that hypocrisy was an old, old physician from ancient Greece.

So I guess you could say I’m nearly reformed. The “guy’s girls” I’ve met recently are actually pretty awesome. We shouldn’t red flag a girl with few girlfriends (you wouldn’t want to miss out on becoming chummy with Kristen Wiig would you?). And hey, someone could red flag my lack of close guy friends too.

[thumbnail image of girl via konstantynov/shutterstock.com]

35 Comments on "Girls Who Hate “Guy’s Girls”"

  1. rafgala says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 201212:46 pm 

    Reblogged this on Rafgala and commented:
    Blavatar
    Girls Who Hate “Guy’s Girls”

  2. Jasmine says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 201212:52 pm 

    Hey, I am so glad I read this! Because I've never understood girls who have many girlfriends. Yeah, I get along with girls but, I feel like girls are more likely to judge me than guys are. Guys don't care. They don't judge and that's why I have a lot of guy friends and only like maybe 1 or 2 girl friends.

    Guys are just more relaxed about things. They really barely if ever gossip and spend their time joking around. It's a fun time. I prefer to hang around the guys because I think they have more fun than girls do. They're just down to do more things like, going out to more clubs or hitting up that crazy bar.

    I've gone out with girls before and their just not down to do more spontaneous things. They usually just stand around and take pictures of each other. Meanwhile, I'd rather do a keg stand. It's just more fun.

    I don't know. I guess, I have a different personality than most girls. I just feel like girls don't get me. They don't get my sense of humor or think I'm crazy for jumping in the ocean drunk at 6am with a group of friends. When the guys think it's just part of a good story.

    Also, I don't just hang out with the guys for attention. It's just 'cause their more likely to be down for whatever insane adventure, joke more, and less likely to judge, gossip and care about drama.

    It's just how I've always seen it. I was raised by my dad and I was a tomboy as a kid. So maybe it just all traces back to your childhood.

  3. Jane says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20121:52 pm 

    Supposedly I fit the traits of a guy's girl, and here's my take on it.

    Yes, sometimes people of my same gender get on my nerves. Sometimes I don't want to talk about who's doing what with her boyfriend or who was seen at a party doing something oh-so-very-scandalous. Sometimes I just want to swear, and burp, and play videogames. THAT is my reasoning for hanging out with guys. Also, I find my guy friends to be way more trustworthy.

    Secondly, I've found that when a girl has guy friends, it means that she doesn't want to date them. She's already friend-zoned them and just wants a platonic relationship.

    Thirdly, it's not as hard to understand guys as you'd think. They have the same emotions and reactions as women do, they just tend to hide it, or express it in different ways. Sometimes all it takes is an understanding girl to bring out that supposedly "feminine" side of them. Cosmo is a terrible example to use. Unless you want sex advice, just stick to the basics for understanding a guy. My favorite basic advice is this: "The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Many times have I found this to be true.

    Lastly, I'd like these girls who are getting so called jealous of "guy's girls" to watch a little show of mine that I happen to love. Friends. Maybe then they'd see that it's not hard to have both sides of the argument. Both a reliable group of girl friends AND a group of guy friends. It's all about balance.

  4. Alli says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20123:50 pm 

    Yeah, the majority of my close friends and the people that I hang out with on a daily basis are guys. And that's not because I dislike girls or think they're too much drama, but it boils down to what you like to do. I love playing poker and videogames and going paintballing and spending entire weekends going to and watching football/basketball/hockey games. I know that there are many other girls who enjoy doing those things as well, but in my experience my female friends are never interested and so I end up doing these things with guys and then end up hanging out with them the most. I'm in a sorority as well, but honestly the activities that my guy friends like to do over the weekend are just usually more appealing to me than what most of my female friends prefer to do.

    But I agree with the previous poster. It is all about balance. I hang out with my guy friends the most because we're interested in the same things, but whenever it comes to really needing to talk to someone my girl friends are it for me.

  5. Arsinoe says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20123:50 pm 

    You make a very good point. But since "guy's girls" describes more than just one individual, why don't guys girls hang out with each other. I'm not saying hanging out with the opposite sex is bad. Its fine and just leads to another irrelevant subject. There are girls that swear, burp, play videogames, and are trustworthy. Is hanging out with girls that do such things "bad?" I've never seen a "guy's girl" hang out with other "guy's girls."

    Every person has a unique personality that they choose to hide sometimes. There are girls that choose to hide there "masculine" side and in contrast you comfortably express that with your guy friends. As an understanding girl it wouldn't be bad to help girls express this side. Automatically saying that girls are drama or dislike you is a stereotype. Not every girl is like this and many are willing to open up and enjoy "masculine" activities if you say.

    Saying that your relationship is platonic does not always go both ways. For example, guys do look for girls that are understanding when they are serious about dating. They may develop feelings for you whether you like it or not and when you "friend-zone" them they'll seek refuge in another girl that they may just use to get over you or (in some cases purposely) get closer to you by complaining to you (you being understanding) when conflict is abroad. This leads to the stereotype that girls don't really appreciate "guy's girls" due to fear and inner jealousy.

  6. Natalie says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20124:06 pm 

    I have like six close female friends, and I consider myself to be very feminine, but I'm mostly a guy's girl for many reasons.
    1) I've had several negative experiences with most of my girl "friends" in the past, they had made up rumors about me, they had gone behind my back, they had shattered my self esteem to unimaginably levels, and a few other things the guys have never done.
    2) I tend to get along better with the guys, maybe because I have two brothers and my mom is also a guy’s girl so I grew up surrounded by guys
    3) I think overall guys are more easy to hang up with…and I don’t mean girls aren’t fun or easy going, is just sometimes they get too focused on gossip, or which celebrity did what, or which girl they hate and think is fat…things like that.
    4) Being a guy’s girl doesn’t mean I hate other girls, or I don’t get along with them at all, or anything like that…it just means that among the girls I’ve known so far, I haven’t met one that I can completely trust and have a friendship at the same level I do with guys.

    PD: my English is bad, sorry ;)

  7. Sima Agayeva says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20126:13 pm 

    I am definitely a guy's girl. I think guys are more relaxed and easier to talk to and get along with. They are not caught up in the drama. I have several guy friends who I can talk about sex, politics, religion, and music with. Most girls I've come across are stuck up, self absorbed and very competitive. This is what I've personally experienced. Some of my guy friends have girlfriends and often come to me for relationship advice that they otherwise wouldn't be able to discuss with their own guy friends.

  8. Heather says:
    Sat, 21st Jul 20128:54 pm 

    I have a good reason you forgot to mention.

    "Guys girls" claim they hang out with guys because they're less drama because it balances how much drama they have. Honestly, all the "guys girls" I know tend to be the bitchiest, trash talking girls ever (I know I'm kind of doing that now) and quite frankly, that itself annoys me.

  9. lisa says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 201212:33 am 

    I hang out with guys a lot. I really like nerdy stuff, and I have a lot of classes with only few female students, so i guess it is also because of common interest. Anyway, I have tried looking the other way around (same sub titles). This is my feelings off course

    1 .This post is an example why I talk ore with guys – I still don't get your point. I usually don't get girls
    Whenever they say "look at that dress she's wearing" – I feel like "yeah, doesn't really ruin my day". Not that i feel better than gossiping, but I don't see the point in being that frustrated with strangers. I don't think you are cruel, it's not like you are being mean, it's just small talk.

    2. This one is so ridiculous! guys want a girl, and feel like a man, and we are too close to "one of the boys". Don't be threatened. Honestly if you feel jealous of us you might as well feel jealous of his mother and sister, coz we are deeply friendzoned.

    3. I at times want to be you. I really easily get guy friends, but it's hard to get boyfriend, because I find it too comfortable talking about guy stuff. Also I really like spending time with girls, I at times just feel left out.

    4. I don't hate you!
    anyway I have friends who are girls, but I don't get you (p.t. 1), and whenever I say something about stuff, it's too weird. I don't get all the secret signals, and therefore do not interact with girls a lot
    It seems to me like there are more hate from you towards us: we are not freaks, or threats.

    And a great advice on guy talk: he it might just mean exactly what he says

  10. Angel says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 20121:22 am 

    Guys are less drama. End. Girls are more often than not complete bitches to me, so I don't have very positive ideas of most women, though I happen to be one, and I find that guys care a lot less. Girls are always the ones saying rude things and calling me names, not the guys. So it is easier for me.

  11. jessica says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 20126:49 am 

    i feel like guy's girls just don't want to take the time to find girls they actually have stuff in common with. i hung out with guys until i got to college and found girls there that became close friends. so it's b.s., sorry. if you don't wanna take the time to get to know other girls, it doesn't make you a 'guys girl'

  12. Sara says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 201211:42 am 

    I was much like you until my sophomore year of college. I always had my girls, but after experiences tore us apart I found that my truest friends were my guys. I still have two core best girlfriends, but I've got considerably more guy friends. My reason being, yeah, they'll be a sex joke every once in a while, but you will not find someone more loyal and protective than your guy friends. And to the girls who are threatened by that, newsflash 99% of the time we aren't attracted to "yo man" he's just my buddy. Also, I lost count of how many spats I've had with catty girls, like dozens, and I've had one spat with a guy friend which was only because we crossed the line and became more than friends and less than significant others, that happens sometimes but I'd still choose that over the girl drama.

  13. @SunnyxHeather says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 20124:10 pm 

    guys girls aren't just girls who prefer guys to girls…..a real guys girl is someone guys like hanging around with aswell!! the type of girl who's seen as 'just one of the guys'!! And in the true spirit of When Harry Met Sally, guys and girls can't really be friends. A girl can't have an intimate but platonic friendship with a guy without either one developing feelings for each other sometime down the road! not in my experience anyways and i was talking to my sister about this and she agrees!

  14. @AlexisRudeBee says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 20126:58 pm 

    I'm more of a guy's girl, but I do have a couple of girlfriends I hang out with from time to time. I honestly prefer hanging out with guys better, because I feel like with guys I can relate more with. I'm a tomboy at heart. I don't have any problem with girls, but with some girls I associated with I just don't have time to sit here and listen to them complain about pointless stuff and talk about people they hate or dislike. Plus I honestly don't get girls at all. That's how I feel.

  15. Confessions of a Single Blonde says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 20128:11 pm 

    I’m a guys girl. I have a few close girl friends, but that’s it. I have tried on many occasions to friend more girls and within the last year found a group of girls I thought I could hang out with. One in particular I hung out with a lot and we had fun and seemed to have a lot in common. One day, it all stopped and I got an email from all of them saying that I was nice and sweet but did not fit into their mold. I never once hit on their boyfriend or husband or did anything disrespectful or rude. In fact I thought we all got along pretty great and I have yet to figure out what in the hell happened. I didn’t investigate or reply to that email. I figured something within them felt threatened by me even though I was nothing but myself (who is pretty fun, I think). I was hurt and sad and just dropped it. Even the one girl in particular I thought I had a real connection to who out of the blue blocked me from everything, I just told myself to forget it and move on. This is but one of many similar examples I have lived through.

    Now, on the other hand, I do have many guy friends, but only a few stick around. After a while they get pissed off for being stuck in the friend zone. I continue to hang with guys cuz they’re just easier to deal with and I always hoped they had a cute friend somewhere that I’d meet. In the end, I may cbe a bit of a guys girl, but I’m really just someone wanting friendship and fun. It seems easier to find with the opposite sex.

  16. Sima Agayeva says:
    Sun, 22nd Jul 201210:09 pm 

    Feelings and acting on said feelings are two very different things. Just because I'm crushing on a guy friend or vice versa, it doesn't automatically change the relationship. Now if I were to go and plant a kiss on a friend I was crushing on, I can see how the dynamic of the relationship would change in that situation.

  17. Maggie says:
    Mon, 23rd Jul 20129:36 am 

    Thank you for this article, it made me feel a little better to hear someone taking a logical approach to the whole "guy's girl" thing. Lately I've found myself to be more of a "guy's girl", though it certainly wasn't intentional. Honestly, it's made me incredibly insecure and I feel judged by other girls for it. I was bullied out of my last circle of girlfriends, so girls are hard for me to trust right now. I want girlfriends, I just feel like they don't want me. So maybe that's another thing to consider, girls who get rejected by other girls,

  18. Sima Agayeva says:
    Mon, 23rd Jul 20121:30 pm 

    I'm in a pre-nursing program and a lot of the women in the program, both young and old, are very competitive with one another to the point where they start putting each other down and comparing who works hard and who doesn't. It can get pretty heated. I don't share details about my personal life. I will smile, but I don't discuss grades, family life, or bad mouth people I know. This is what most of the women do in my program. They mock and ridicule the classmate that is struggling instead of offering to help.

  19. jas says:
    Mon, 23rd Jul 20124:04 pm 

    This is not true whatsoever. I think you're confusing "guys girls" with "girls who seem like guys girls just because they're constantly around various guys they want to get with".

  20. Kay says:
    Tue, 24th Jul 201212:37 am 

    I'm definitely a guys girl, but I haven't always been. I grew up with sisters, and I'm still very close to my mother. As a child, I attended an all girl's camp for years and can't remember having many guy friends up through middle school. In high school, I had an extremely close group of girls friends, one of which is still my best friend in the entire world.

    However, college changed that completely for me. I went to a school that was mostly guys, and I was just continually thrown into these situations where I was the only girl, and it was weird because I found it so much more comfortable and easy than being in a group of girls. I could be myself. They didn't care if I dressed up or did my make-up, whereas my female friends would notice. With my guy friends I can be more spontaneous. We can just decide to go out to dinner or the bar, and there's no pressure to get ready or look good. It's just easy.

    But it's also awful at times. They forget I'm a girl. None of these guys want to date me. They don't think of me as girlfriend potential or even hook-up potential. Yeah, they give me a lot of attention, and if I need them they'll drop everything and come running. But honestly, all those things said about guys girls, that's how I feel about girly girls. I don't get it, I feel like when you talk my guys it's a threat to the relationship I've built with them, I wish I could get the attention from guys you get and not just be seen as a friend all the time, and I'm pretty sure most girls girls don't like me.

  21. Gammage smith says:
    Thu, 26th Jul 20125:02 am 

    I do not have any think about the Girl hate a guy girl .
    http://xtrememusclepro.org/

  22. Bob says:
    Fri, 27th Jul 20122:20 am 

    Seriously? Sometimes it's true, but in my case it is not. I try to be sincerely honest in how I live and portray myself and the biggest turn-off of girls to me is that they find it fun to bring other girls down all the time. With guys it is simpler and less hurtful.

  23. Bob says:
    Fri, 27th Jul 20122:22 am 

    The thing I crave the most is a set of good girlfriends, but I find it the hardest to achieve. I've constantly been rejected by girls for reasons unknown to me. Bullying, having too much confidence, etc. They find reasons to hate.

  24. Bob says:
    Fri, 27th Jul 20122:30 am 

    I'm a "guys' girl" and the best girl friendships I've had have been with other girls, like me, who prefer to hang out with guys. It happens, but only when we find each other.

  25. Emma says:
    Sat, 28th Jul 201212:41 pm 

    I agree with Bob. Having way more guy friends than girl friends, I think I'd be classified as a "guy's girl." And it's usually other girls of this type that we instantly click with when we meet usually because we share the same attitudes to a lot of things. However, close relationships like this usually results in a group being formed of a few girls and way more guys instead of a group of girls who are "guy's girls". What can I say?? Guys are easier to get along with because they're not as focused on focusing on each other's negative qualities the way girls do; and they definitely always know how to have a good time.

  26. guy's girl says:
    Sun, 5th Aug 20129:09 pm 

    bottom line is… the majority of guys i know and hang out with since i could walk… like to joke around more than anything else. guys do not easily get offended. guys forgive quicker. guys have the same hobbies and interests as me. guys say what they mean and mean what they say. guys have very few expectations about anything. guys don't dwell. guys get on with business rather than discussing it over and over again. you piss me off, i tell you, we throw words back and forth, we drink a beer. over. ladies, this is not something that is because other chicks do not accept us or make us aggravated; it is a preference of personality. simple. by the way, we don't want your man. i promise. being with your man would be like being with a brother.

  27. Simon says:
    Thu, 9th Aug 20128:43 pm 

    Ok, I'm a guy. This is MY take on it. I think the original post was very generous and showed a great deal of maturity in the author's attempt to critically evaluate her own prejudices. However, I think her original position in relation to guy's girls is likely to be justified in many cases. In my experience, girls who really struggle to maintain friendships with other girls often rely on sex appeal and some degree of flirtation as social capital in their exchanges with their so called male friends. I think a lot of these girls would like to have female friends but are too selfish to be involved in genuine platonic friendships (with either sex) so naturally do better with people they can manipulate. I would not consider dating a woman who could not maintain close friendships with females (having both is fine).

  28. eastcoastelegance says:
    Sun, 12th Aug 201212:08 am 

    I think my only problem with guy's girls and heck even some guys is when they do proclaim "girls… are too much drama, are too superficial, can't have fun, etc"

    I've always been a girly-girl at heart but that doesn't mean my girl-friends and I are constantly in competition, are always made up perfectly, only talk about men or don't know how to joke around. We can talk about anything, and we do. I laugh more with them than anyone, and we don't usually get our laughs from bringing others down. We love getting fixed up to go out on the weekends, but that doesn't dismiss our love of hitting up IHOP pony-tails high, braless and rocking the sweats. Drama happens but at the end of the day, drama happens in any friend circle, we'd just rather address it and move on.

    I'm simply suggesting that if you're a guys-girl, cool. We all choose our friends, and that's fair, but don't feel the need to knock the rest of us. And guys? Don't pretend to understand the inner-workings of female friendships, they're more than shared shoes and lipgloss.

  29. a3075227 says:
    Fri, 7th Dec 20121:47 pm 

    I’ve said that least 3075227 times. SKC was here…

  30. Aeva says:
    Fri, 15th Feb 20133:37 am 

    I'm definitely a guy's girl. Apart from my best friend (who I've known for 14 years, and now lives on the other side of the country), the only women I really interact with are women I date. Despite the fact that I'm only sexually/romantically interested in women, I've gravitated towards friendships with males since I was a toddler. On the outside, I'm pretty damn feminine, but I've always had much more stereotypically masculine interests. I've never really felt like I was missing out by not having female friends. I can tell the guys anything I could tell a girl, and they tell me anything (in fact, usually more) than they'd tell anybody else. I can understand how a new girlfriend might be jealous of the fact that I hang out with their boyfriend, but I always aim to be as friendly and welcoming as possible, as well as making it very clear that I am not a threat. More often than not, she will become so comfortable with me that she starts calling me for advice or inviting me out places with them.

    I think as a whole, guys are a little less drama than girls…but not by much, and it definitely varies depending on the individual. I hang out with guys because they get me better, and I get them better. It's not intentional, I just always seem to have connected better with men.

  31. Gaby says:
    Fri, 15th Feb 20131:53 pm 

    Aeva,
    Thanks for commenting! You just made me realize how heteronormative this post is, even while this issue may not be.

  32. faith quotes says:
    Sun, 10th Mar 20131:48 pm 

    is that they feel it is too cryptic. The language, they say, isn't tangible.

  33. Cindy says:
    Wed, 24th Apr 20136:35 pm 

    Heather – you are SO right. I thought I was the only girl who felt that way. The worst is a fake "guy's girl" who isn't an overtly trash-talker, but who puts down a genuine girl by constantly mentioning – in front of the genuine girl's boyfriend – all the things that she has in common with men – barbecuing, sports, being low-key or "low-maintenance," drinking, etc., then pretty much ignores the genuine girl. The boyfriend doesn't see it because he's a man – oblivious to the wiles of a girl, especially a girl who makes the guy think she's "on his page" completely when she really isn't. I hate those kind of girls – they pretend to be so unaffected, so "drama-free" when THEY are SO drama-filled and desperate for a guy's attention that they fake being everything that they think a guy likes – and the guy is stupid enough to believe it!

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