Testing the “Friends First” Theory, Part II [Diary of the Undateable]
“There’s a huge difference between sex and making love,” Carlos explained to me with his heavy Haitian accent. “Sex is just penetration. Making love is for people who care about each other…kissing, touching…”
Usually, I’m a pretty rational person. I take my time to think things through…I don’t like to make impulse decisions. My rock solid judgment flew out of the window when Carlos gently convinced me to hang out that night. He promised that he wouldn’t hurt me and reminded me that he respected my decision. “Let’s just see each other,” he said. “I want to make you feel right. Let me prove myself and I promise you won’t regret it.”
We agreed that we were going to talk and watch a movie. Even I know that you never end up watching the movie. The movie ends up watching you.
We went from laughing at “Bad Teacher” (it honestly took me five minutes to remember what was on the TV screen) to Carlos’ lips finding mine. Sounds steamy, right? Nah, wrong. He kisses like a slug. He started out with tongue and these wet, sloppy smooches that landed all over the bottom half of my face. I could smell spit and beer on my skin for hours after that!
His wet, sloppy kisses started traveling everywhere, just like his hands. He tried to get my clothes off in one smooth motion, but he awkwardly fumbled with the buttons and hooks. So far, this was NOT like the countless love scenes I’ve seen on film.
We kissed/slobbered/slurped for a really long time. To be completely honest with you guys, I felt nothing. No sparks. No magic. No butterflies. And okay, my last “kiss” was a shotgun from He Who Must Not Be Named, so I don’t have much to compare it to…but you know when something’s there. And nothing was there.
Even though he said that he respected my decision, the topic of sex still popped up – along with other things – again. He thought that his kisses and compliments would get me to change my mind. No way.
He got mad, called me a baby and said that I wasn’t ready. I got mad because he wasn’t the same kind and understanding person I was getting to know. He went back to Harlem and I went home angry.
Even though we got into a huge argument, I ended up seeing Carlos later on that week. I’m so naïve…I honestly thought that we’d just talk and laugh this time, nothing more. We agreed that us hooking up again would ruin the friendship that we already had, so we’d avoid it. That’s a joke…it was a mere ten minutes before we started kissing again. And this time was much, much better. And hotter.
Even though I vowed that I wouldn’t feel anything, I tripped and fell…for him. I think. My friends say that it’s the physical stuff that has me all open. Carlos says it’s because he’s my “first.”
“We’ll never be able to be friends the way we were before,” he told me. “I saw everything. You saw everything. Those feelings are different then those of a friend. If I’m going to be just a friend, we’ll be best friends. If I’m going to be your boyfriend, I’ll be the best you ever had. Either way it goes, you won’t be able to get rid of me. It’s not possible.”
I don’t know if things will get that deep. I don’t know if we’ll end up in a relationship. I don’t know if we’ll even talk after I leave New York and the summer ends. But I do know that whatever this is, I’m enjoying it. For now.
CollegeCandy, have your friendships ever turned into something more?
When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print/online journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.