It’s Good To Be A Girl [Friday Faves]

My mom just dropped me a gchat to ask about my day (we do that), and when I explained to her that I was in the process of hammering out why women are better than men, she aptly responded with, “Hope there’s not a word limit.”

Boys vs. Girls. Who’s got it better? I mean, it should be a no-brainer to smarties like CC readers, but for some reason it’s a question that comes up for debate time and time again. Well, I guess I’ll be the one to say it now. Women, girls, bitches, hoes, chicks, chicas, broads, babes, shorties, MILFs…no matter how you slice it, we’re just better.

For any men out there reading this, I know you’re all fans of a little cold, hard evidence, so I thought I’d present you with the Top 10 Reasons why ya’ll are a little sub-par.

(Oh and Brobible…you can forget your little list on why men are better, because we blow your “10 Reasons it’s Better to be a Guy” out of the water)


1. We can wear makeup to cover up our flaws. You know that weird mole on your neck you’ve been living with? Or that little nasty vein on the side of your nose? Maybe that “sun spot” on your forehead? While you’ve got to let your imperfections hang out for everyone to see, us ladies get to dab on a little concealer and- poof!- back to maintaining the high standards of perfection you demand of us.

2. They’re called boobs. If you’ve got them, it’s time to hit the gym. If we’ve got them, it means free drinks, faster service, and your attention.

3. Man, boners must suck. It’s just this big (if you’re lucky) thing sticking out there that you’ve gotta deal with. And if you’re going to hit me with the “real men can control that sh*t” argument, then universities everywhere must be filled with a lot of little boys. Have you been to a slutty themed frat party? Are you aware we can feel your junk poking us as we dance with you?

4. Running with boobs is better than running with a penis. Or at least that’s what I assume. You see, for women they make this neat thing called a sports bra. And you just put it on and all your mess stays in one place when you hit the gym. But you guys? Damn. I would never want something attached to me bouncing up and down in my shorts with every step I took. Graphic and…just yikes.

5. We can openly cry and you get your man card revoked for even getting a lump in your throat. Even during Rudy. And we know how much you boys love Rudy. When he overcomes all those odds and plays football for Notre Dame, realizing his life’s dream when everyone said he couldn’t do it. Is that a tear I see? Pus*y.

6. We can shave…everything. Meanwhile you’ve gotta deal with that nasty pit hair, that patch on your lower back, don’t even get me started on what you’ve got in your shorts (That’s what she said? Beatcha to it.). As you’ve told us time and time again, body hair ain’t sexy…and guess who’s on the losing end of that one?

7. We smell better. Admit it, you love our body sprays, shampoos, lotions, and perfumes. It’s pretty obvious when we catch you snooping in the bathroom opening various bottles and smelling what’s inside. But get caught with the latest and greatest vanilla scents in your medicine cabinet? Nuh-uh, bro.

8. Who does stuff for you? When we’re in trouble, when we need help, if we get a flat tire, spill our books, or even just need a refill on that Natty Light- you’re there helping us the whole way. You, however, need to possess the necessary skill set to dig yourself out of such situations. And judging by how long it takes you all to put A and B together…f*ck, I just feel sorry for you.

9. Sharing isn’t a two-way street. We want to borrow your t-shirts…fine. We want to steal your fratty baseball cap- no problemo. You want to wear our pearls?  Uhhh…  Same goes for us watching sports, enjoying “dude” movies, and eating wings.  It’s passable.  The day you start wearing our slippers, sobbing over The Notebook, and enjoying diet food is the day your bros call you out.

10. Sweatpants. You just can’t rock ’em.  There’s not much creepier than a bit of man business bulging out of the front of some cotton fleece pants.  Wait, yes there is.  When you wear them out in public or, God forbid, move faster than a 90 year-old in them.  Because then we reeeeally get to see everything.  Women, on the other hand, don’t quite seem to have that problem.  And our 8AM classes are all the more enjoyable for it.

[lead image via Shane Trotter/]



  1. Mel says:

    I think this article points out a lot of the harmful gender rules that we have – men aren't allowed to cry, men aren't allowed to ask for help, men men aren't allowed to wear women's clothing or makeup or enjoy "female" activities or products. Obviously men aren't discriminated against anywhere near as much as females are, but we still have these gender rules that force people to conform to a certain way of doing things because they don't want to be ostracized.

    And I disagree with a couple of your points
    4. I have double D's – the only sports bras that I can get that hold my girls down when I run also constrict my breathing. Men can wear tightie whities or boxer-briefs if it really bothers them
    6. We can remove our body hair, but we're also expected to and it takes up a huge amount of time and money (I hate how much razors cost and they're nothing compared to getting a frequent wax or laser treatments!). I like the feeling of being soft, but you've got to admit that it's annoying to have to worry about it and deal with cuts and razor burn or the pain of waxing.

    However, I totally agree that boobs are awesome and inconvenient erections must be horrible.

  2. […] Read More here… TweetPin It Filed in: News, Relationship & Family […]

  3. Mark says:

    #1. Male flaws attract less negative attention than female flaws, and make up is ugly anyway.
    #2. Nothing to say about this one, take it as a win if you want
    #3. The only legit point, sleeping on your stomach with a boner can hurt.
    #4. Jockstraps
    #5. Very few guys I know actually think like this. Man card maintained.
    #6. We don't have to shave…anything, and we look better when we don't. Low maintenance ftw
    #7. Masculine scents smell great in their own way, male or female we all need to shower.
    #8. Independence is awesome, much better than being helpless. If we can't do it, that's what pros are for
    #9. Similar to #5, these are generally acceptable when with your significant other
    10. Nobody WANTS to wear sweatpants anyway

  4. Rick says:

    1. We are proud of our flaws and battlescars. And if we go bald, we can still be sexy. Women… not so much.
    2. Boobs. You only get two. We get to play with many over our lifetime. And they come in all different shapes and sizes. Other than yours, they come with hair.
    3. You used "Boner" and "suck" the wrong way. ;)
    4. Watch football and baseball. No problem there. Watch the opening credits of M*A*S*H. Tough for you, but a win for us.
    5. We are men. We don't want to cry when our boss is mean to us. we wanna punch him in the face, stand over his carcass and raise our fists in triumph. Just think Tarzan.
    6. Body hair means we are men with testosterone. Manly men who cook with flame and hunt for food with bangsticks and big blades.
    7. Ode de' toilet ain't fer men. We are manly men, and our musk has stopped predators in their tracts. And frankly, quite a few women love it as well…or are they the same thing? ;(
    8. We are men. We enjoy the challenge. And putting a and b together is child's play. But if we do it too fast, then the "honeydo" list gets even longer. Men, not as dumb as women think.
    9. Men watch them for one reason and one reason only, as alluded to in your number two. ;)
    10. Sweatpants. Ya'll love takin them of'fa us when we are being all manly.

    All this said, women…God's greatest creation. Love mah' wife more than anything other than our children. And she feels the same about me. :)

  5. Wes says:

    1. Good point
    2. Two good points.
    3. Genitals only a tenth of the problem of their counterpart.
    4. Not unless number three plays a role.
    5. Honestly don't know anyone who watched it. Before my time.
    6. Sometimes annoying. Less so than that's what she said.
    7. Depends on the person. Though no envy as it seems like a hassle.
    8. Condescending sure, but we couldn't connect that with this otherwise fine article. Point in your favor.
    9. True but you are held to a much higher standard and watching the Notebook is a red flag.
    10. Indifferent.

  6. A BiPolar Guy says:

    1 we don't care about our flaws as much as women do, perhaps because makeup enables them to be hidden, more attention is given when they are not? We can't hide them so we are adjusted to them. 2 I agree they are awesome on women, but women make a fuss when we notice. We can shrink ours (even surgically) and all is good, surgery will enlarge yours but it's obvious to the eye and they don't feel natural. 3 Men know you can feel them when dancing-the young ones make sure of it. A lot of them think it will turn you on. Dumb, I know – same reasoning that makes them sext pics of them to you.4 Guys can wear jock straps, but they don't because it doesn't hurt or get in the way the way large breasts can hurt and get annoying when running, etc., But also they think it turns you on. Again, dumb in most cases. 5 Meh. 6 you *have* to shave everything and we don't. Most women don't seem to care about our body hair unless it's excessive, and then you trim it occaionaly. Your skin gets rough very quickly, and you have to do it over and over. 7 You do smell way better. We get to smell you and you get to smell us. We win that one. 8 Last I heard women do more cooking, cleaning, "nursing" – fair or not you do lots of stuff we could do but don't have to. Also sex. We are very happy to change your tire for sex. Or the promise of sex. Our our fantasy that somehow because of this you will someday have sex with us. We are pretty pathetic that way, I admit. 9 We think it's cute when you wear our stuff. And again anytime you get anything from us we are secretly hoping it will somehow, someday lead to sex so we don't mind at all.. Pretty delusional, generally. Oh and we have no desire for your stuff. Well truth be told, some of us do get turned on wearing it , though most of us, no. (not that there's anything wrong with that). 10 Once again, you have a combination of "we don't care much about our appearance" (unless we are trying to impress you), and foolishly a lot of men think the sight of us will turn you on, because we get so excited by seeing you. Consider the classic fat old man in a speedo, walking down the beach thinking "there's not a woman alive who doesn't want a piece of this". You gag, I know, but most men go on their happy way, not bothered at all because they are just that clueless.

  7. Cal says:

    #4 – Its not like that all the time
    #6 – Mine accomdates runnng by getting really small and really large when its time, BTW
    #7 – there are great colognes for men too – just gotta find a guy who is willing to wear the goodstuff Babay

    Best always


  • You Might Like