Should You Fake an Orgasm? [He Said/She Said]

Sorry, but I cannot STAND the concept of faking orgasms. I think it’s dishonest, rude, and kind of stupid.  There is no reason to fake it. No, seriously. It doesn’t make anyone feel better – you cheat yourself out of good sex by pretending bad sex is okay, and unless you are a really, really good actress, the guy can probably tell if he’s not making your toes curl.

The second you fake an orgasm, whether to get sex ‘over with’, or to try and boost a guy’s confidence, you are seriously messing up your sex life. Faking it sends a clear message saying ‘yeah, that sex sesh was INCREDIBLE. Wow. Do it like that every time’. Do you want to have bad sex again? Or do you want to be honest, admit that you didn’t cum this time, and work on having amazing sex next time?

That’s one of the biggest problems with faking it. Once you do it, you have to pretend every single time. Imagine this – the first time you have sex with a guy, you fake a reasonably convincing orgasm – oohing and oh-god-yes-ing until happily collapsing into his arms. He feels pretty good. “Wow,” he says to himself, “that was great, she seems like she really enjoyed that.” All good so far, right? You’ve got away with it and everyone’s happy. What about the next time you have sex? There are two possibilities – the sex isn’t that great (again), but to make sure he isn’t disappointed in his performance, you have to repeat your fake orgasm noises again. Shit, you’ve now got yourself into a bad sex-fake orgasm cycle. The second possibility is that wow, suddenly the sex has become AWESOME. Omg, you’re about to have a real life orgasm! But wait, that sounds nothing like your fake one. The guy is confused, did you just fake an orgasm? You now have to explain that in fact, LAST time was fake, this one was real. How awkward.

Basically, faking it will nearly always have bad consequences if you plan to bang again. But really, if you’re hooking up with a guy on the reg, shouldn’t you be comfortable enough to be honest and talk about what works best for you? The only time it’s acceptable is when you are 100% sure it’s a one time thing with someone you’ll never f*** again. And even then, only try if you’re SURE you’re a great fake orgasm-er (test out your performance on some friends, it’ll be fun).

At the end of the day, faking it is prioritizing HIS feelings over your sexual pleasure, which sucks. But does he agree?

Click here to see what He Says about faking it, and leave a comment below to let us know if you think it’s ever acceptable to pretend you had an orgasm!

[Lead image via lunkiaandsika]

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  1. Dorkella says:

    All I have to say is that I've never faked an orgasm. Ever. But I do prentend that it doesn't hurt when sex kind of hurts. I'm getting better at admitting that I'm in pain, but I still don't do it all the time. I want to change it, but what if I like it? I don't know what's going on. Anyone want to help?

  2. […] •  Should you fake an orgasm or what. (CollegeCandy) […]

  3. […] •  Should you fake an orgasm or what. (CollegeCandy) […]

  4. Rae Morrison says:

    Oh how I lol'd reading this. Bravo Ellen. I'm in complete agreement here.
    @Dorkella, maybe you need to see a doctor

  5. […] Should You Fake an Orgasm? [He Said/She Said] ( […]

  6. Rocio says:

    Do it like that every time’. Do you want to have bad sex again? Or do you want to be honest, admit that you didn’t cum this time, and work on having amazing sex next time?

  7. Intotheblue says:

    As a guy…I feel like half the fun and point of sex is getting each other off, so faking it is pointless…I honestly believe that all of my partners have been strait up and enjoyed themselves, simply form the fact that if your comfortable enough to have sex with someone, we should be comfortable enough to talk an guide each other what gets us off…why bang with no cum…would you drive an hour to a fireworks show to hear a loud pop?? No you want the full fuckin show lol

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