Dear Amanda (manda-manda-manda-manda-manda),
I’m sorry. I had to do that as I’ve been watching reruns of The Amanda Show and crying myself to sleep over the absolute
train car wreck that you’ve become. I didn’t think it was possible for a starlet to become more of a hot mess than Lindsay Lohan, but I was wrong. Amanda, you were going to make it! I grew up with you on All That and followed you onto What I Like About You which is still one of my most favorite shows ever and totally has nothing to do with how hot Nick Zano is. Sorry that didn’t work out.
I loved you in What A Girl Wants and obvi, She’s The Man. I guess I started to notice your downfall a little in Easy A. I don’t know why you needed lip plumpers and bleach blonde hair, but whatever. Then you got a DUI (with pink hair?). And then you started running into cars. Like all the time. Like you’ve been running into cars as frequently as I’ve been getting rubbed up on by people in the subway.
Do you know how hard it is to run into cars? I’ve been in two car accidents, neither of which were my fault. I’ve never run into a stationary object either. So how do you keep driving into other vehicles? Parked vehicles. Riddle me that! Your license got suspended and the first thing you do is get in your car and smoke what looks like pot before driving. GOOD ONE.
At first, I was all “Oh poor Amanda must be going through something rough,” and now I’m all “Someone please lock this girl up.” It makes me so sad to see these kinds of things happen especially to stars that were a part of my childhood. Everything can turn around, Amanda! Lindsay seems to be doing alright. And Britney is back in action being a judge on The X Factor and all. Demi Lovato is good to go too. There is hope for you yet! I just want you to get better and star in another silly, feel good movie that I can quote on a regular basis. I’ve already quoted She’s The Man like five times today.
There obviously is something serious going on with you, and you need to get help. I don’t want to see you travel down this path. In all seriousness, get it together, Amanda. The kids of the nineties are counting on you!
[Image via Google]
Caitlin is a graduate of the University of Alabama who has an obsession with cupcakes, coffee, and Harry Potter. She always has random fun facts and is now working for an awesome company in New York City. Follow her fabulous life @caitlincorsetti. You’re welcome!