Since the beginning of time women have talked with other women about men. In fact, women compare notes so frequently that they made an entire TV series based on what women do when they have brunch (hint: we talk about guys). I’m looking at you, Sex and the City. SATC was great because it was so relatable, the concepts discussed were familiar — some guy left a cryptic voice mail, he didn’t call back, he said something weird on a date. Well no offense to Carrie Bradshaw, but those topics are a little 1998. In today’s tech-savvy world, us twentysomething girls sit around and pick apart every aspect of your text message. And let’s be honest, I mean every. single. aspect.
Text messaging is now the main form of communication for our generation and we girls lose our shit over every new message alert. I know you might be thinking, “Nah, I’m chill. I don’t play into that drama. Molly, what are you talking about?” You’re wrong. You just are.
I’m not trying to be rude, but even the most sane of girls will stop and think, “Well what in the hell did that mean!?” It’s not our fault. Boys are not great at communication. So girls will sit and discuss every ellipses, emoticon and exclamation point, every minute it takes to receive a text back and every word you reply with. (Sidebar: The worst is agonizing over a text, expecting one and then getting a text…from your mom.) I know it sounds insane. I know it does. But we’re grasping at straws here. If we really like you, we want any tiny sign that you might feel the same way. If you ask us a question you could have asked someone else, we’ll rationalize it to mean you wanted to ask us specifically. If you send an emoticon that’s not the “hook-up winky face” we’ll think you’re into us.
Truth be told, I did this just last weekend; I was in Chicago for a bachelorette party and got the strangest of all text messages when I was out shopping. My first reaction was to stop stop in my tracks and scream, “Guys! You have to read this. What the hell?”
But what happens when your friends aren’t close by to pause everything they’re doing and help you analyze an 80 character text for 74 minutes. It’s a serious problem, especially if your besties are scattered across the country at different schools. Turns out a group of guys recognized this problem and created a website called HeTexted.com.
The premise? Girls can upload a screenshot of a text message sent from their main squeeze for “pro” analysis. This can either be awesome or awful. The site features little buttons on the bottom of each submission that say “He’s Into You,” “He’s Not Into You” or “Verdict Is Still Out.” Visitors to the site then read your text message and weigh in.
The only downside to this harsh judgement call is that your friends are able to sugarcoat the “you might want to find someone new” suggestion, while HeTexted does no such thing. I also wonder what repercussions could come from submitting a text to a website for advice. It’s pretty black and white on that site — the text is viewed on its own — there’s no back story explained. It’s hard to let all of your hopes for romance rest on whether strangers on the internet think some random guy they’ve never met is into you.
The other thing I want to point out all the ladies out there: we’re not stupid. Deep down we know why you’re asking us to come over at 2am. Why you want us to meet your mom. Why you’ve given up responding to our texts. We know all about it. We just want validation. We want a tiny shrivel of false hope that you might be into us. We want to make sure we did nothing wrong even though you’ve gone silent. And maybe we’re a little bit in denial.
Submitting texts to a website asking to help decipher a poor excuse for not hanging out with us is only asking to be told something we already know. He didn’t come over because he didn’t want to, but we still search for that one person to say, “Yeah, give homeboy the benefit of the doubt.” As girls, our minds play tricks on us all the dang time and we have to go with the flow sometimes or we’ll really lose it.
Just for fun, we took some time to decipher a lot of commonly sent text messages. Take a look at the ones we rounded up and weighed in on below, and let us know if we’re completely missing the mark!
If you’re curious, head to the site to read more – it’s actually pretty accurate and amusing to see some girls going through the same stuff as you. Camaraderie ya’ll!