Teaching Your Guy How To Head South [Sexy Time]

By Jasmine R.

Women kind of get the shaft in the oral sex department. Not only is it fairly common for guys to flat-out refuse to indulge in it, but when they do, there’s a distinct chance that they’ll be completely and utterly sub-par at it. Unlike us ladies, who get inundated with tons and tons of info about how to properly pleasure a guy, it doesn’t seem like guys receive nearly as much information as they should, and that unfortunately results in whatever poor girl he’s in bed with at the time being the victim of heinous oral.

Yes, that’s completely unfair and very annoying, and it may be tempting to push his head away and roll over or just endure it and give him props for trying. However, it would behoove you, him and any of his future partners to offer some constructive criticism, and there are essentially two ways to go about it. You could definitely frame it as a foreplay activity and as you’re watching porn together, you could highlight what you like about it. He’ll probably get the hint and attempt to replicate it when he goes down on you.

The visual way.

If you have a favorite porn scene featuring oral, that could be a scintillating starting point for teaching your partner what turns you on (while keeping the mood arousing). Understandably, this option may not be for everyone. But if it appeals to you and if you have a partner who doesn’t seem like he’d fall into a spiral of jealousy/resentment/other boner-killer emotions (because you dared to integrate a medium into your sex life that he has probably used in the past to get his rocks off solo…) then take a chance and let James Deen or whoever steer your boy into propriety.

The straightforward way.

Your guy is down there. You’re squirming with displeasure because his tongue is too stiff or he’s attacking your cl*t like a ravenous and clumsy oaf (ow). Use your words to correct his form. Tell him where you want him to go. Tell him slower or faster, softer or harder. Tell him where you want his hands. If you have a tongue technique you’d like him to employ, verbalize it or demonstrate for him. It may not be terribly sexy in the moment, but when/if he catches on, it will probably be very worth it.

Reasonable guys should be totally appreciative that you’re willing to communicate what you like, because most likely, they’re going to find out eventually that their head game sucked, and they may be retroactively embarrassed (I certainly wish certain guys had spoken up when I was doing things that I later figured out are total non-starters for most guys). While it may not make sense to do this with guys you have no intention of seeing ever again, if you’re in an on-going arrangement, helping him improve his oral skills can only enhance your relationship.

[Lead image via Zametalov/Shutterstock]