Why Do Guys Take So Long To Text Back? [Ask A Dude]

By The Dude

Dear Dude,

Why do guys take so long to text back? Is it a control issue? A way to keep from looking over-interested? Have you fallen down a well without Lassie around to fetch you your iPhone?

I’m not looking for volumes of prose sent via SMS, but a semi-prompt answer to my “Wanna catch a movie Friday?” invitation would be swell.

Signed,

Nope. Still no text back.

Dear Nope. Still no text back.

Why do guys take so long to text back? Because your guy is a dumbass. He’s just stupid, stupid, stupid. There aren’t a ton of great excuses for not texting someone back within a few hours. But there are a ton of excuses.

Even if he’s physically unable to use his fingers to text, there are voice programs you can download for $1.99. HE DOESN’T EVEN NEED HIS HANDS! And if he’s lost his voice and lost the use of his fingers, then, okay, that’s a special case to consider on its own.

Let’s face it, what we’re really talking about here is common f*cking courtesy. And some people are oblivious to it. Sure, it can take a day to get back to someone. That’s perfectly feasible. But you text him, “Wanna catch a movie Friday?” and it’s Wednesday, and he doesn’t text you back until Saturday? He should have his fingers chopped off. See, I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic f*cking hatreds (RIP George Carlin).

And this issue of common courtesy extends beyond just texting. What about a Facebook message? Or a phone call? Or showing up on time when you say you will? Or letting you know he’ll be late before he’s a half hour late? These are people who haven’t learned the golden rule. I mean, seriously, a basic tenet of civilization that most every child is taught at some point or the other. It’s not that they don’t know better. It’s that they don’t think about it, they’re not conscious of it, they don’t give a sh*t.

Do people screw up sometimes? Sure. Have we all accidentally overlooked a text or a phone call at some point? Of course. We’re talking about the habitually dickish.

However, I’m going to be blunt here: It’s not just guys that do this.

Text me, maybe,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]