Dating an Older Guy Isn’t THAT Bad, Right? [Diary of the Undateable]
“Is anyone sitting here?” A caramel cutie asked me as he approached my usual table at Starbucks.
“No, not at all,” I answered with a huge, doofy smile.
It was a moment straight out of a romcom. The guy that I had a microcrush on had finally, finally approached me and initiated contact. His name was Jacob, a handsome math major who I’d had classes with before. We chatted about our undergrad experiences and post-grad plans over coffee and our open MacBooks ‘til the lights dimmed and the baristas were cleaning up. I was confident that he’d ask me out on a date. We had such an awesome conversation and spark…why wouldn’t he?
…Because he’s my former professor.
Don’t trip, y’all…he’s a grad student, so my crush isn’t forbidden or anything like that. I took Jacob’s class a few semesters ago. From day one, I was attracted to his positive energy and passion for teaching and learning. This, ladies and gents, is one class that I did NOT skip…and I absolutely abhor math. I’d sit at the front of the class and attend extra help sessions just to be around Jacob more. It wasn’t like stalking…but.
Naturally, my friends laughed at my arithmetical advances.
“Girl, he’s way too old!” one told me. “You’re trying to catch a case.”
And maybe Jacob doesn’t share the same sentiments as I do. And that’s fine…a girl can dream. But why is age such a big deal in dating? I’ve seen and heard about the debatable double standard – if a man is dating a woman that’s younger, he’s a player. If a woman is dating a man that’s younger, she’s a cougar.
My friend Tasia has been talking to this guy, Jared, for months now. It started with a mild summertime flirtation – they’d grab drinks after work, make dinner on his grill and take long bike rides around the District. She really started to like him after a few weeks, and it was obvious that he liked her too. She’d damn near throw herself at him (in the classiest way possible, natch) and as much as he wanted to take the bait, he wouldn’t out of respect. He’s always bringing up her age like an excuse for why things haven’t progressed. He’s 26. She’s 21. Five measly years.
My mom told me a really long time ago that women mature faster than men. That’s why a younger-older relationship works – there’s already this understood balance that just works. Generalization? Yes. True? Possibly.
I don’t see a problem with dating a guy that’s older. Age shouldn’t affect affection. Sure, there will be challenges – money, maturity and priorities. But if both parties are willing to make it work despite what everyone else says and thinks, why not try? I would.
CollegeCandy ladies, have you ever dated older guys? Was it a huge deal like some people make it out to be? Let me know!
When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.
[Lead image via Diego Cervo/Shutterstock]