How To Find A Hurricane Boyfriend On Your Campus
Last year during the terror of Hurricane Irene, our friends over at the Village Voice taught us how to find a hurricane boyfriend. I mean, if there’s any time to find a new boyfriend, it’s when you think the world will end due to a natural disaster, right? Right.
This year, I’m in New York City to brave the aptly-named “Frankenstorm” and people are freaking out about having bread and water. Since surviving the April 27 tornado, I’m not one to take storms and nature lightly. But I’m well-prepared for this hurricane, so the only thing I’m freaking out about is not having a nice hunk of man to protect me and keep me warm.
I’ve rounded up the best places on campus for you to find a not-so-fair-weather boyfriend (see what I did there?) until the power comes back on:
The Rec Center: bros that work out are going to be well prepared to fight off gusts of wind and debris for you. Plus, if any looters try to break into your place, he can take care of it. In case of serious emergency, he could lift you out of a dangerous situation.
The Library: the studious types are going to be knowledgeable in emergency situations. Whether he read up on proper storm survival tactics or how to filter water, the library dude is going to know what to do. He’ll also have some good book suggestions for you to read by candlelight.
The Media Studies Department: this is where you’ll find an upcoming meteorologist or news anchor. A guy studying weather will obviously be interested in what’s going on and will be able to tell you what’s going to happen. Broadcasting bros can calm you down and comfort you in that news style and deliver reports right away.
The Lab: the scientists are underrated, but think about the kinds of things a chemistry or bio major can do in a natural disaster. Bio majors can tell you what kind of plants are safe to eat if things get that drastic. Those chem students can certainly start a fire for light, warmth, and cooking. Don’t ever underestimate the nerd.
What are you waiting for? Get out there and find yourself a hurricane boyfriend before the storm hits!
(P.S. Seriously, stay safe if you’re in Hurricane Sandy’s path xoxo)
Caitlin is a graduate of the University of Alabama who has an obsession with cupcakes, coffee, and Harry Potter. She always has random fun facts and is now working for an awesome company in New York City. Follow her fabulous life @caitlincorsetti. You’re welcome!