If You Love Someone, Don’t Let Yourself Go [He Said/She Said]

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Okay CC readers, this is a tricky one. You might not like what I’ve got to say. This week, we’re talking about “being yourself” in a relationship. As in your real self. As in, the one who doesn’t roll out of bed looking perfect, the one who loves watching ‘My Strange Addiction’, yes, even the one who will happily finish an entire pizza all by herself. How much are you willing to show your significant other?

Personally, I think it’s great to let your true self shine. It’s way too much pressure to keep all of your little quirks hidden, and I’m pretty sure a guy can tell if you’re not being real. So if you have some weird habits, just let your freak flag fly! But being yourself and letting yourself go are two different things. My view has always been that you should match up to the person you were when you first got together – within reason. It’s ridiculous to expect perfect make-up and heels 24/7, or to think that a girl is going to make as much effort as she did on the first few dates. But it’s also kind of ridiculous to think it’s acceptable to become a complete slob.

I get it, the temptation’s there. You feel comfortable around each other, so what’s wrong with farting in bed or swapping date nights for takeout 3 times a week? What’s wrong with putting on weight if you’re not trying to impress anyone? I would never judge anyone for doing those things, there’s a really easy pattern to fall into and hey, why not? But after a few weeks of unintentionally making a little less effort, it’s gotta stop. The second you notice yourself being lazy, you need to pull yourself out of it. Why? Because relationships take work.

Relationships are tough. I think people have a tendency to think ‘hey, we’ve been together this long, he obviously likes me, we’ll never break up!’, but that’s just not the reality. People get complacent. They start repeating the same stuff, passing time without really noticing what’s going on, and then one day they realize that actually, they haven’t really been enjoying spending time with their girlfriend. And oh, they suddenly notice that the girl they had a crush on, the girl who went to the gym 4 times a week and loved dressing up, had been replaced with someone who would rather just chill in sweatpants and eat crappy food. I guess it’s kind of like false advertising – if he buys into the idea of one thing and ends up with an extremely sub-par version, he’s not going to be happy. I’m not in any way saying that girls should all be maintaining the exact same appearance and behavior as the beginning of the relationship, that would suck. But if you really want to be with someone, you should be willing to show them how much you appreciate spending time with them!

The same goes for guys, obviously. I guess what I’m saying is that in a relationship you should be growing as a person, not turning into a lazier version of yourself. Be the best you that you can be, it’ll make you AND your boyfriend happy.

Oh, and as for farting, pooping, and all the other gross things – go ahead, admit that you’re a living, breathing normal person. But keep some boundaries. Farting ONLY if your other half has said they’re completely okay with it. Door closed while on the crapper.

What do you think are the boundaries to ‘letting yourself go’ in a relationship? Leave a comment below and click here to see what He Said!

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