Can’t Get A Date? You’re Probs Ugly!

Former Playboy bunny Serria Says is now a dating coach. Unfortunately, she seems to be coaching women to become beauty-obsessed, vain Barbies who should be rating their appearance on a scale of 1 to 10.

In her article “The Power Of Beauty” she discusses how no one gives a shit about how smart, compassionate, or really good at your job you are because you’re just so freaking ugly. U-G-L-Y, you don’t got no alibi. OMG. You’re just so gross. Like, you totally look like a 5, but you could totally be a 7 – 7 and a half – if you would just try.

This sounds overblown, but this is really how shallow she is. Serria even admits it:

“I’ll just say this up front: I’m pretty shallow. I know myself, and recognize this as a truth of Serria.”

Let’s break down this article so that we can all eye roll at the appropriate times.

“I think of unused beauty in the same way that I think Katy Perry in an oversized shirt is a waste of good boob tissue. If you’ve got it, appreciate it, because it will not last forever.”

There is no such thing as “unused beauty.” Beauty is subjective. That’s why there was that one episode of America’s Next Top Model where Tyra made a model close the gap in her teeth because it was “hideous.” Then a few seasons later, they WIDENED a girls gapped teeth because gapped teeth are so fierce now. What we consider to be beautiful in modern society changes from week-to-week so to impose a certain standard on someone is only going to make them neurotic and is doing them a disservice. Not to mention, did she ever think some people want to look the way that they do?! On the count of, you know, us having a choice. Do I love X-Tina and Demi Lovato’s super done, airbrushed makeup? It’s not my thing. But I am 100 percent sure a) They know what they look like. B) They want to look that way. C) There are plenty of people who will find their appearance (and personality) attractive. Stop telling people how they should look! It’s yucky in 2012.

“I went out for a drink with a colleague, a former male model now in the commercial finance world. He went on and on about how he really likes smart women and how is girlfriend is getting a Masters. She was a solid 6. Great facial features and nice thin healthy frame, but no effort towards her beauty at all.”

He’s a “former male model” so we know that his opinion matters more than regular dudes. Are you paying attention? Looking like a model is the beauty standard. You know, it’s so easy to look like the people who make up .0000001% of the population’s genetics. Anyway, this girl is so smart, yet she is only a 6 on the sexy scale? If she was so smart she would stop being so ugly – ASAP. No effort towards her beauty? Ugh, why is she so focused on getting her Masters instead of looking hot? Prioritize.

“And guess what this former model that likes smart girls kindly requested at the end of our meeting? He wanted to meet some of my pretty friends since “he’s not married.” I told him I’d love to make introductions, once he’s single. Don’t underestimate the power of Pretty. Smart is great too, but you need both.”

This former male model decided that he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend. The reason being not because this guy is a straight up douche bag and shitty boyfriend, but because his girlfriend is just super duper ugly. Only a 6! That’s how ugly she is. Smart is great, unless you’re a fuggo.

You know what I love? When women help make it hard to be a woman. I got to worry about fashion and beauty advertising and you too? Great. The idea that the modern woman needs to be smart and the standardized version of beauty is just a perpetuation of the oppressive idea that women need to be perfect. Women have to be the mom, trophy wife, and have successful careers these days. God forbid they talk about S-E-X. The idea that anyone needs to be anything is oppressive. I just want to be my goddamned self already.

The article continues to give beauty advice. She instructs us to wear foundation, lip product, tame our eyebrows, have flawless hair, wear blush and whiten our teeth everyday. Is there anything wrong with doing these things? Of course not. The issue I have is the idea that all women should be doing this. Not every girl wants to. Implying that they ought to be only reinforces beauty standards that are troubling. Some girls just aren’t into this. Or they wear makeup in a totally nonconventional way.

Some women do this thing where  they form their own identity. It’s not that women – or  anyone – shouldn’t take pride in their appearance. It’s that there is no one way we should appear. Moreover, everyone deserves to be loved regardless of their appearance. The bottom line is, no matter how you look – you’re going to be the total package for somebody else. Once you start trying to fit into an absurd mold you lose a bit of yourself and you actually make it harder to find someone who is totally compatible to you. After all, whoever you’re meant to be with should actually like the real you. 
[Image Via. Yuri Arcurs / ShutterStock]
Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya’ girl @EmeraldGritty.



  1. mary says:

    you make some really good points. good article overall.

  2. jane says:

    this made me so sad… i wish i was a 6

  3. jane says:

    this made me so sad…i wish i was a six

  4. Anonimous says:

    ''In her article “The Power Of Beauty” she discusses how no one gives a shit about how smart, compassionate, or really good at your job you are because you’re just so freaking ugly.'' – Unfortunately, Serria has a point. It's not her fault, it's just how men are. If you think a guy is gonna reject a Victoria's Secret model just because you a have a Business degree from Stanford or do research in MIT, you're crazy and naive. Having an education is wonderful and it's an amazing thing that all women should get, but it doesn't matter when it comes to dating…

    1. Nicole says:

      Well you can't even spell "Anonymous," so I'm not surprised you aren't a champion of intelligence.

    2. Anonymous says:

      Well, I'm sorry, that was a typo. I'm sure you're not perfect or a champion of intelligence either… Anyway, just because I wrote anonimous instead of anonymous doesn't mean my point is not true. I'm a girl, and not exactly a supermodel-type, so it hurts me too… but it's true. I'm not going to sugar coat the truth. This girl is indeed shallow and superficial and it's horrible that people are judged based on how they look, but to think it doesn't happen? Or to think it was just that male model and most straight guys don't care at all about looks, they only wanna see your diploma? That's just naive. That's what you think when you're 5 and life is perfect. Unfortunately, it's the society you live in and the gender you're in love with. No need to find things like typos to insult me or attack me with. I'm not saying personality doesn't count, but go out in jeans, a shirt, with glasses and no make-up on and then go out dolled up, high heels, tight dress and everything. Then tell me how many opportunities guys gave you as an average-looking girl and as the dolled-up version of yourself. You're the same person, yet I'm sure you'll get more attention as the second one.

  5. jazmynand says:

    Her advice is only half true in my opinion. I think people should make themselves up to look however they feel comfortable. For a lot of us that isn't the "norm" but I always tell my friends and roommates, people take from you what you give. If you dress and carry yourself like a 6 (in their eyes) but really you feel like a 10 then why should I care? It is just as important for me to be smart as it is for me to look good. I choose to look good for myself though, not for others, and it just so happens that when I make the effort it is well received. On the other hand being smart is important, a lot of people can look good but what is their purpose once they no longer look that way. I want to be well received for everything I do, including my looks…plus I don't want my looks to pay my bills I want to have a career and not cut and slice myself every few years in hopes that my bills will still be paid.

  6. Sandra says:

    the fact of the matter is that we live in a world where appearance matters , across the board…. do the best with what the "good Lord gave ya". and "don't shoot the messenger"…..

  7. Serria Says says:

    Interesting. I enjoyed this article, obviously I think there are a few misunderstandings. Check out my reply on this friday

    1. emeraldgritty says:

      Glad you enjoyed. Can't wait to read your reply. Always happy to see writing create a discussion about an interesting topic with many opposing views.

  8. dametra07 says:

    Good article, I think it shows how vain society is now, oh wait its always been vain. I think it just shows that men do not necessarily think about the long term. I mean beauty over brains…yeah we will see how far that goes.

  9. Serria Says says:

    Here is my response and I hope you all enjoy!

  10. Amber says:

    Caring about your appearance doesn't take away from who you are as a person. I've never met a woman who is single who doesn't want to be attractive. It surprises me when women who don't want to be single put no effort into their appearance. A little blush and mascara goes a long way. You'd be surprised. It doesn't take much.

  11. […] Dating coach and former Playboy bunny wrote a response to my response of her post called “The Power of Beauty.” In my piece I accuse Serria of being somewhat […]

  12. Kymm says:

    Both articles were interesting and have valid points. I agree with Amber, though. A little goes a long way sometimes. Clothes, makeup, confidence, interest in the other person, ability to put yourself out there… goes on and on. Everyone has room to grow and if someone was like, “Girl, you’re beautiful but quit caking the eye shadow on, sit up straight and stop playing on your phone when a guy is trying to talk to you” I’m going to take reasonable advice. Serria’s advice is always reasonable and realistic. She doesn’t bullshit anything but maybe some people don’t like her kind of truth.

  13. Find a Date says:

    Yeah, this is really very good post. I think in face i telling you about my dream life partner that she will simple but will have good communication skills and good understanding skills. she will face every situation according to her.

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