This Thursday at Midnight for a measly $1.99 you can learn how to “smize,” thanks to Evil Mastermind Tyra Banks! The app is called “Smize Yourself”
and collects facial recognition data using advanced C.I.A. operative software in order to further Tyra Banks’ evil plan of world domination. During a video interview with reporters Evil Tyra said, “I have millions of people on Twitter… constantly sending me pictures, saying, ‘Tyra, am I doing it right? Can you teach me how to smize?’ … ‘Am I fierce enough?’ So I decided to create an app based on that.” The idea is that you use the photos for online dating profiles and social media. You know that old folklore where when someone snaps a photo of you they steal your soul? This app is sort of like that.
• Courtney Stodden’s mom is a dumb dumb head. No really, she didn’t understand her daughter’s budding sexuality so she decidedly handed her off to 51-year-old Doug Hutchinson because he could handle Courtney. It wasn’t such a big deal because plenty of police officers and attorneys were already trying to bone Court!
• Watch the video for the Barney’s/ Disney creeptacular fashion video. It features the controversial slender versions of your favorite Disney characters like Minnie Mouse. Brownie points to anyone who can tell us which celebrities are supposed to be featured in the video!
• Here is an excerpt from the best Breaking Dawn Part 2 review ever. You can read the whole thing over at NY Mag.
“If anything, this series has gotten dumber and more inert as it has progressed, with this last one finally reaching over into an extended wallow in camp. Forget the multiple, cascading and intertangling plotlines of the Harry Potter series; Breaking Dawn struggles to keep even just one ball in the air. It didn’t necessarily have to be like this.”
• You can hear Rihanna and Chris Brown’s duet, “Nobodies Business” now.
• New Hampshire has elected the first out transgendered statewide candidate.
• This picture of Ryan Lochte will make you quiver or puke. Guess which one I am doing right now?