Dat Ass! What Was Xtina Hiding Under Her Dress at the AMAs?
Last night at the AMA’s Christina Aguilera performed a very strange medley of new songs off of her album, “Lotus,” that was released earlier in November.
The songs were performed well, you can’t deny that girl has talent, but there was this weird bearded man who stroked his face in the background. They also had a “love yourself” montage where these men pulled a Magic Mike and ripped off some old school tear-away pants to reveal man thongs. I just really wasn’t sure what was going on, and how it fit with the context of what she was singing about. You should probably watch it here.
But Christina’s bizarre performance wasn’t the only thing that had me in WTF mode. Before the event the singer was captured on the red carpet and all I can say is damn girl, how you get all of that!? DAT ASS is going to take over the world. I know for months people have been all up in arms about Christina’s weight gain and I was all like, “No. She is beautiful in every single way ya’ll.” But there is no way this is real life. I’m convinced she has something hiding under that dress. It’s a full blown conspiracy theory.
Here are all the things we think home girl could be hiding under her dress…
A half-centaur body: Kind of like Phil from Hercules, Xtina could be hiding to horse like legs used to gallop off into the sunset.
Her kid: The baby sitter bailed on her last minute and she didn’t know what to do. So boom, she threw on the flowy dress and had baby Max hang out in back.
Mini Me: As a part of an ongoing performance, and in an effort to beat Lady Gaga at her own game, Christina really pushed the freak-chic thing and had a Mini Me stuffed under her dress to use as she saw fit.
Snacks: Look, if she’s gained all that weight she’s gonna need some stuff to tide her over for the evening. She’s most likely got a tray of assorted snacks under there.
What do you think? Help add to our conspiracy theory? What’s Christina got under her dress?
[Lead image via The Superficial]