Are We Bringing The Dating Stress On Ourselves? [Diary of the Undateable]

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Last night, in between finishing a take home test and recouping from too much turkey, I was mentally going through every single little thing that Carlos had said to me over the past six months. Six months is a really long time to know someone in a romantic capacity…for someone that’s never had one. And for someone to just toss it away in 11 days is preposterous to me. I did NOTHING to him. Nothing!

I had no warning signs. No clue. No idea that our thing – whatever it was – was fizzling out and extinguished as soon as I left the country. I’ve literally spent hours poring over He’s Just Not that Into You, rereading our text message conversations and talking my friends trying to figure out WTF happened to Carlos. All this overthinking made me remember something that Brad had told me in Germany.

“Girls make things way too complicated,” he said. “You guys read into things way too much.”

Simple, succinct…but SO real. My guy friends have told me themselves that if they say something, that’s exactly what they mean. No hidden messages or double entendres. And in the case of Carlos, it’s true. When I asked him how he felt about me, he told me himself that he doesn’t like me…much. When I asked him if he could see us together, he basically said that he couldn’t…yet. When I called him after I got back from Germany, he told me that he’d been getting serious about someone else (even though he missed me a lot).

So why. The eff. Am I tripping?

Honestly, it’s hard for me to distinguish the line between game playing and reality. Guys – at least the ones that I’ve talked to – have always been on games. And then me, like the simp that I am, indulge in the games and think that my good girl persona and well-placed nice girl glitter will make things better. Nope. Doesn’t work. Mama Undateable once told me that if someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

I know that I tend to read into sh*t that guys say way too much. It’s the same thing with my girlfriends. We’ll spend as much time trying to figure out “cryptic” text messages and brief, five minute phone conversations as we do with homework.

If guys say what they mean and mean what they say…then there’s a possibility that WE’RE the ones that make it complicated like my guys always tell me.

CollegeCandy ladies, chime in: are we playing ourselves instead of thinking that guys are playing us?

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

[Lead image via JPFotografie/Shutterstock]

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