7 Things Guys Shouldn’t Do In The Bedroom [He Said/She Said]

Hey, I’m not the kind of girl to tell anyone the ‘right way’ to have sex. If you enjoy it and you’re not hurting anyone (unless they’re into that) go right ahead. But I think we can all agree there are some things that guys just need to stop doing in bed. As in, never, ever do these things ever again. No-one likes them. From poor etiquette to moves copied from porn, here are a few no-no’s for every guy to avoid.

1. The ‘oops, wrong one’ move. Seriously, this is never an accident, and it’s never acceptable. After a second of accidental grazing of the wrong hole, move straight on. Any lingering, or attempting to actually enter is completely unacceptable. What do guys actually think this will achieve? Do they think that it’ll just slide in without us noticing? Do you think we’ll enjoy surprise anal so much that we’ll forgive you for doing it with no prior warning? Guess what, even people who like anal aren’t going to like it without any time to prepare. Pretending you seriously can’t tell the difference between a vagina and a butthole is beyond stupid. Stop it.

2. Surprise faceshot. I am so, so glad I’m not speaking from personal experience on this one, but I remember hearing about a girl whose boyfriend ‘accidentally’ finished on her face. Sure, because that happens. Men should not try to copy stuff in porn. It’s not real, and girls will not like it.

3. Creepy dirty talk. Never ever ask a girl to call you ‘daddy’.

4. Fast forwarding through the previews. Skipping foreplay is so annoying, and so many guys try to do it. Girls need some warming up to really enjoy sex, and trying to rush the experience by skipping something so essential is just plain selfish.

5. The jackhammer. Don’t be that guy. Don’t give a girl a sore vajay-jay with no pleasure. It’s that simple.

6. Random kinkiness with a first-time hook up. Don’t bring out the handcuffs on the first date, or assume a girl wants a good spanking. It’s way too risky. It’s good to experiment, but sex should be enjoyable for both people. Save the dirty stuff for after you’ve discussed your likes and dislikes together.

7. Sneaky filming. This should be obvious, but apparently it needs to be said. A guy should never ever film sex with a girl without her knowledge and permission. It’s horrible, rude, and downright wrong.

What do you think guys should never ever do in bed? Leave a comment below and click here to see what He Said!

[Lead image via filipinobook]



  1. Totally agree! Especially number one! Like realy.. Is stupid written on our foreheads??

  2. the dominator says:

    the fact that this author immediately proclaims her backdoor "the wrong hole" tells you more than enough.
    she is about as much fun as a bag of dead frogs.
    a guy should never try to sneak it that way- that isn't cool at all.
    i have been with women who actually let me try and they liked it.

    1. Desteni says:

      AHEM. The author does not condemn anal sex. Actually, she mentions other times the benefits of exploring yours (and his or her) sexuality, but doing so in a safe, comfortable way that is mutually pleasing and beneficial for ALL involved. Surprise buttsex is not safe, comfortable, or pleasing for – I'll take a leap here, and say anyone. Anal sex requires more hands-on preparation to remove the pain for someone who's not "adjusted" to it, and surprising a person with it without having discussed it prior can be both physically and emotionally detrimental to the person being "surprised." The author calls it "the wrong hole" when a man, in the throes of vaginal sex, decides to take it upon himself to just continue with the force and slam into the "wrong hole." Anal sex can be enjoyed – once again – when EVERY PERSON INVOLVED is consensual to the event, and doesn't have it – ahem – thrust upon them.

    2. Ellen - University of Manchester says:

      thanks desteni! I'm sorry if my post came across as dismissive of anal sex, I have nothing against it, and like Desteni said, the 'wrong hole' reference wasn't implying that anal sex is 'wrong', it was just a reference to what guys say when they try to force anal sex on someone without consent. If both parties agree to anal, go right ahead. But if a guy decides to just try it without any warning first, and then tries to play it off as an accident? Not cool. I also think I'm slightly more fun than a bag of passed away amphibians, but hey, it's your opinion. Hope that clears things up!

    3. Ellen - University of Manchester says:

      plus, just an addendum to that, assuming someone's 'fun-ness' level purely based on whether or not they like anal is fairly judgmental. That kind of judgement based on people's sexual preferences is not right, and is something I try to work against in any of my sex-focused posts.

  3. Rob says:

    Would a woman go down on a guy that asked her to suck his pee-pee? No. Don't call your vagina a vajay-jay; I don't care what Oprah says.

    1. Ellen - University of Manchester says:

      I guess, but this article wasn't exactly meant to arouse anyone. I'd rather sound a little silly than get bashed for saying the word vagina online

  4. Beegoe says:

    Annnnnd here comes the butt-hurt reactions. Pun intended.

    1. Ellen - University of Manchester says:

      haha can't wait

  5. […] 9. 7 Things Guys Shouldn’t Do In The Bedroom [He Said/She Said] on College Candy. From the jackhammer to creepy dirty talk, don’t do these things in bed, guys. Please. […]

  6. Katelyn Geary says:

    Dear Men: When going down on your lady, don't look up at her, seeking approval. She'll let you know if you're doing something wrong. Focus.

  7. Ryn says:

    Guys. never ever thank the gal. You think it was great, she rocked your world and you actually saw the fireworks….. going off as you came…? Good. That's what good love-making should be… Hold her, cuddle her, play with her hair and fingers and stay with her for at least an hour. Fall asleep holding her if you have/need to – That's what your lady wants – not to be thanked – ever!

    Remember that. And if you think you wont have the time to do this after you've cum… don't make luv. Save it for another time/ another day.

    Guys, the worst thing you can do to a gal is finish and leave her to cool off by herself. Terrible. Every gal wants to be held and kept warm and feeling secure after a nice love-making session. That's what she's about and that's what she needs.

  8. Rachel says:

    Oh God even though I don't mind anal I 100% agree with this article, I hate men that fuck you and then that's it they're gone. Xb

  9. гаджет says:

    A description for this result is not available s afsgfg

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