Kate Middleton is Knocked Up and You’re Wrong If You’re Not Excited

By Alexandra Gehringer

After weeks of speculation, the Royal Palace today released a statement confirming that Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their first child. I would like to take this opportunity to go on the record as saying CollegeCandy broke the news first. JK (but no really).

I know some of you are trying to play it cool over this news. You’re all like, “The Royal Wedding was dumb enough, now we have to suffer through some royal baby nonsense? [Dramatic sigh].” In response, I want to know WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? This is fantastic news! I am so beyond excited that I want to open your eyes to all the amazing things that can and probably will happen…

1. 2013′s biggest trend: Babies in crowns. Who doesn’t love a baby in a crown?

2. Fat Kate Middleton. Because #science.

3. This.

4. A horribly English baby name. Nigel. Petunia. Alastair. Prudence.

5. With all this baby commotion, there won’t be time for another Royal Wedding, therefore the Queen will ask Prince Harry to remain single. Indefinitely or until he meets me.

[Lead image via]