Nadia Cho’s Tips for Having Sex in the Library
If you are trying to spice up your sex life on your college campus, look no further. Tired of having too much privacy? Is your bed too comfortable? Do social contracts feel oppressive? Nadia Cho of Berkeley has the answer. Library sex: because studying is fun. Nadia explains the ins and outs of reference section nookie, and spills all the secrets on how you can too.
Tip 1: Call up a friend do the deed with! You can either let him know upfront you’re going to be desecrating an academic environment together, or you can spring it on him while you’re casually studying together for Shakespeare.
Tip 2: Don’t “finish.” You are not going to want to explain how you damaged valuable artifacts with certain fluids.
Tip 3: Pick a section with books people aren’t going to look up. Luck for you, students would never go to the library to work on a research project.
Tip 4: Actually, on second thought, get busy in the Religion section. Sets the mood right.
Tip 5: Move bookshelves to surround you and your partner. It’s like a bedroom, minus the legality!
Tip 6: Be quiet! You only want a moderate level of pleasure here.
Tip 7: If you hear someone coming, quickly dress and pretend to be looking around the stacks for books. You might actually find something valuable to your future.
Tip 8: If you really want to let loose, reserve one of the classrooms. A professor who needs to use it will be out of luck and you get to reenact your fantasies of hooking up while making shadow puppets in front of the projector.
Tip 9: Follow your dreams. You can’t get it on with your TA in order to ace your exam, so try living out your fantasy with the guy in your class who actually has the grade you want. Immersion learning, right?
Tip 10: If you make the sex worth the risk, it won’t matter if you get caught. You aren’t the first person to have sex on campus. And, you aren’t the first person to get kicked out of college or arrested!
Now, get to it, bookworms.