Everyday until December 21, 2012 we will count down to the end with a sign of the apocalypse. It’s like that movie The Number 23 (except actually good), once you see the signs – they’re everywhere! [These are just jokes, folks!]
Ares is trolling us the way he does with Aphrodite. *Eye roll* The god of war and overcompensating penises, has created a new soap that seeks to cure “mangina.” What is mangina? Oh, you know, a disease (or cultural ideology) that shames men for engaging in activities that are considered stereotypically female. There’s nothing worse than being a like a girl – amirite, ladies? Here are some of the common “symptoms” of mangina:
IN PATIENTS WITH EARLY ON-SET MANGINA, RESEARCHERS HAVE OBSERVED A COMMON SET OF KEY INDICATORS. INDICATORS:
- ELEVATED DESIRE TO SHOP AT STORES LIKE ABERCROMBIE & FITCH, HOLLISTER, OR ARMANI EXCHANGE
- INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR ANY SONG BY LMFAO
- EXCESSIVE SPENDING ON WATCHES, BOTTLE SERVICE, OR BMWs
SCIENTISTS ARE STILL RESEARCHING THE CAUSES OF MANGINA, BUT MANY CASES HAVE BEEN STRONGLY LINKED WITH THE ABUNDANT USE OF FEMININE SHOWER GELS. IT IS BELIEVED THAT CERTAIN CHEMICALS WITHIN SHOWER GELS, WHEN ACTIVATED BY A LOOFAH, WILL LEAVE AN INVISIBLE, ESTROGEN-LIKE ENZYME THAT LEADS TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF MANGINA.
Estrogen makes you do crazy things! Vaginas are bad! Remember when guys used to be tough and make anyone else who wasn’t stoic, emotionally repressed and aggressive feel bad about being themselves? Let’s go back to that – with this moderately priced soap. Anyone who thinks it’s still cool to blatantly uphold gender stereotypes in 2012 is lame. In total this is offensive to: women, trans men, men who like nice things, people who listen to LMFAO, LMFAO, people who work for BMW, people who drive BMWs, watches, some queer men, some straight men, T-shirts . . . December 21st, people.
For More Signs Of The Apocalypse CLICK HERE