You may have heard this story of the girl who sued her roommate for having copious amounts of sex in their room. While I think she was overreacting, having sex while another person is less than 10 feet away and not consenting to being a part of your sexcapades is pretty rude. My freshman year, my roommate was generally considerate, except for the times she brought dudes home while I was asleep. Without fail, I’d wake up to the sounds of their carnal activities. It was uncomfortable, especially since I was still a virgin who had never even been kissed.
The first time it happened, I was pretty understanding. I mean, life happens. Sometimes you don’t necessarily expect to end the night with anything more than a plate of drunk food and a bottle of water. She apologized profusely and I thought it would never happen again…and then it did. My communication skills weren’t exceptional, so I could never broach the subject with her. And really, it shouldn’t have been my responsibility. The onus is on the person who does the inconveniencing. So, if you’re bringing people home (especially if you’re sharing a dorm room), please be considerate of your roommate’s feelings and try to mitigate the awkwardness.
1. Give your roommate a heads-up.
Whether it’s a text while you’re stumbling home, a last minute knock on the door while your partner waits outside, or a few hours’ notice if you plan your coitus soberly for during the day. There’s no reason that you shouldn’t give your roommate time to get scarce and give you a little more privacy.
2. Don’t try to sneak someone in.
This just makes things so much more tense than necessary. If you’re not comfortable informing your roommate you’re bringing someone home, it creates a sense of shame and embarrassment that doesn’t need to be there.
3. Keep it quiet.
Cool, you’re having an awesome time. Your boo is taking you to new heights of pleasure. Good for you. That doesn’t mean you need to entertain everyone within a 2 miles radius with the dulcet tones of your moans and screams (or your headboard). Pull the bed away from the wall, put on some music, and use your indoor voice when expressing your pleasure.
4. Limit the number of times you sexile your roomie.
While you have the right to bring people home, your roommate also has the right to not have to crash in the common room or in a friends’ room multiple times a week. Be considerate and split time between your place and your partner’s place.
5. Clean up after yourself.
Don’t leave discarded condoms on the floor, turn on a fan or crack a window to get rid of the “just had sex” smell, and make sure there isn’t underwear strewn on your roommate’s chair, desk, or bed.
Basically, just exercise common decency. Your right to orgasms with another person doesn’t negate your roommate’s right to a comfortable living arrangement.
[Lead image via koh sze kiat/Shutterstock]