Recap: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 9 [A Bro’s Thoughts]

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It’s Christmas in Mystic Falls. Besides Tyler’s mom getting totally wasted outdoors, there’s a lot happening in terms of melodrama and over-reaction city for each of the characters that we’re so invested in. However, I feel like the Christmas vibe of the entire episode was a little forced and no matter how badass Klaus looked slaughtering people to Christmas carols, I just wasn’t feeling it. Even the episode title, “O Come, All Ye Faithful”, was superficial at best. If there was a award for the fakest snow ever in a television series, The Vampire Diaries takes the cake. Whatever. On to the recap!

In Which Damon Thinks He’s Being Awesome But He’s Really Being Super Lame Because Martyrdom Is Overrated

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While I understand the need behind Damon trying to make sure he keeps his relationship “honest” with Elena, one has to wonder why the hell he would break it off in the first place. Dude, the girl of your dreams that you’ve been trying to steal for the past 2 years is all over you and you don’t want that? I mean you already took her to vamp pound town, bro. If she wants to keep it going, let her keep it going. Your brother is obviously dropping the ball and it’s your job to swoop in and make sure that you get yours. I understand the need for dramatics in CW television shows, but this is getting to be too much.

Also, how exactly is Damon going to help Jeremy get it together from being a hunter? He doesn’t exactly have the best track record with him. In all reality, Damon’s been compelling Jeremy to forget a bunch of stuff since he met the kid. It doesn’t exactly bode well if the guy that made you forget your entire life decided to be your part-time therapist with the creepiest dude ever.

In Which The Creepiest Dude Ever Wants To Make Love To A Corpse

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Straight up: Professor Shane is definitely riding this Silas train way too hard. I never really thought about how much one can be obsessed with a dead body, but this Shane dude wants on the anti-immortality d*ck way too hard. While it’s super obvious that Shane is only around to bring forth the next Big Bad, I’m slightly wondering why no one else in Mystic Falls thinks this dude is a creeper. I mean, he hangs out with Bonnie ALL THE TIME, surrounds himself with high school seniors, practices hypnosis, and is definitely over 30. If that doesn’t warrant a date with Chris Hansen and the pedophilia police, then where are the standards in Mystic Falls?

In Which Klaus Goes Straight American Psycho And It’s F*CKING AWESOME

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I still am not too sure why Klaus slaughtered a bunch of hybrids. It’s definitely unclear in the episode and I blame Tyler’s slam piece Hayley for being super confusing. (Also, her accent breaks were at an all time high this episode.) However, IT WAS INCREDIBLE WHEN HE WENT ON HIS SLAUGHTERFEST. Klaus is easily the best character on TVD and for him to totally just lose his shit and go Patrick Bateman on all the lame-o’s that he knew were going to betray him and THEN kill Tyler’s mom was easily the best moment of Season 4 so far. While it wasn’t too big of a cliffhanger in terms of a winter finale, I’m really happy that they are playing the insanity clause for Klaus. It really changes everything. His relationship with Caroline’s going to be weird, Tyler’s going to want to kill him, Stefan can’t trust him, and he’s the only one that can discover the true meaning behind this whole “vampire cure” nonsense. Klaus at the forefront of the show is the right move, plain and simple.

In Which Jeremy’s Future Slam Piece Ruins Everything But That’s Okay Because I Love Rebekah

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This April Young chick hasn’t died yet and I don’t know why. I’m seriously confused about her existence at all. However, for her to bring Rebekah back is fricking awesome because she’s an HBIC and will probs keep Klaus in his place as he loses his mind.

In Which Caroline & Stefan Should Totally Start Boning To Make Elena Mad Because Melodrama On The CW Is Gold

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There’s a lot of tension between Caroline and Stefan for some reason. While I understand that they depend on each other as like sober companions for vamp blood lust rage, I just don’t understand how these two have got it on already. Tyler’s being a lame-o with Hayley, Klaus needs to go to a mental asylum, and Elena is too busy being d*ck-drunk on Damon. There’s really no reason for the two of them to not just say ‘Screw this.’ And go for it. I mean, TVD fandom might bug out, but it’s really the only logical way to go, right?

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Overall, for a winter finale, this episode was kinda weak. I felt like for something that took 40 minutes it really could have taken 20 or so. Maybe even less. There’s a serious need for streamlining in Mystic Falls. However, every plot line ever since the beginning of this season has been voided and we’re moving on to albeit crazier and more complicated plot lines. The arrival of Silas will be a big deal, and they’re hyping him up the same way they did Klaus back in the day. So if he’s as half as awesome as him, I’ll be happy. TVD comes back from winter break on January 17th, and I’m gonna be glued to the screen.

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